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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Need to talk if i may, just to work through some thoughts that wont leave my head.

4 replies

sunburntats · 04/12/2009 15:47

I know better than any one not to take any part of pregnancy for granted.

After loosing so many pregnancies to mc, the symptoms have always been the same for me.

I have got to 9 weeks now, with none of my usual awful ominous symptoms recently.

Just reading through some threads, and losses can occur at 9 weeks or 12 weeks or 20 weeks.I realise.

This distresses me and makes me anxious, dont worry i am already super anxious.

At any point i could lose this baby, every day, every hour, every minute each time i go to the loo, i expect to see the start of the end.

For those of you who have gone on to have a baby after re occuring miscarriage, how did you find peace?

OP posts:
mathanxiety · 04/12/2009 16:10

First, congratulations on getting to 9 weeks, and without any indications that anything is going to go wrong.

When you've had the awful experience of multiple mcs, you do wait for the axe to fall and there's no getting away from the dread. But how about marking each uneventful day off your calendar, or putting a little pebble in a jar for each day you get through. It's nice to see the visual evidence of your progress mounting up. Yes a miscarriage can occur any time really, but as a pregnancy develops the chances become more and more rare, so every day gets you into safer territory.

The best thing you can do is to keep up your nutrition, get plenty of good night time rest, avoid heavy lifting or strenuous activity -- and try to relax. Maybe take some time to listen to music you like, take deep breaths throughout the day at intervals, and try to recognise panicky thoughts and talk yourself gently out of them. Don't scold yourself, just try to harness positive energy and give yourself a smile.

I personally found a little peace when the fourth month rolled around, but I was never completely sure until the stage when a baby could survive birth as a preemie. There's always an element of doubt, for everyone -- nobody has an assured outcome for any pregnancy, really. But try to do what you can to relax. And if things seem to you to be getting you down, talk to your doctor or midwife about your feelings.

bb99 · 05/12/2009 09:48

Congrats on your BFP! Keeping everything crossed for you

Anyone can lose a baby or child at anytime, it's just when it has happened to you, you become aware of the consequences of life IYSWIM and so understand that it could be you. But just because it has happened to other people, or you and you are aware of it doesn't mean it will happen to you again or at all.

I only had 2 mcs when trying for my second DC but was scared very anxious for most of the pg so I understand what you are feeling. I felt better after 20 week anomolly scan and tried to take just one day at a time.

Found a quote recently that is helping me at the moment.

"Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" (Matthew 6:27)

Hope you are ok xx

MayfairMummy · 05/12/2009 16:30

Hi.. and congrats on your pregnancy

I've had 2 mcs so far (plus one healthy little boy); my belief was that if it wasn't meant to be, then it was better that it happen sooner rather than later... and stressing about it wasn't going to help (but would likely hinder) any pregnancy.

I meditated, and chose that I wanted a calm, relaxed pregancy (try that when renovating a house), and focused on what i could do to make my life calm. I even walked out on my MIL when she was trying to create drama (for her, life should be like eastenders)! Normally I would always have to have the last word for anyone who was trying to control my life.

I also believe everything happens for a reason, and it's positive; sometimes you just need time and space to see what lesson there was. Maybe there's a really chilled out baby just hanging out for some chilled out tummy space to grow in.... best of luck

(oh, and my little one is reallllly chilled!)

slimyak · 08/12/2009 16:07

Congrats on getting to 9 weeks. I think how you're feeling is perfectly normal. One MC let alone recurrent MC's will take the rosy glow off any pregnancy. But do whatever you can to relax.

I've had 3 MC's the last one at 12 weeks, when the scan showed development had stopped within the last 24 hours. We were devastated as I believed we were out of the woods at that point.

We have a wonderful DD so believe it is possible for us to have another DC.

Everyone is different, but next time, and we plan for there to be a next time, I will be asking for extra Scans as checking progress will ease my worry.

I know it's hard to read of people's losses all the way through pregnancy but you must keep hold of the fact that every week you tick off the risk of loss goes down. You're at 9 weeks, there's a big drop in risk already.

A close friend said she felt herself relax completely at 26 weeks, probably to do with her hormones but she also felt that her little one could survive in the outside world although would need all the medical help the 21st centrury has to offer.

Try and stay positive and look after yourself, that's the best you can do.

Good luck

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