MMC diagnosed today, week until next scan, what do I need at home?

[dairymoo]

I found out this morning, at my supposed 12 week scan, that there is 99.99% likely that I have had a MMC. The remaining .001% is due to the fact that I was measuring about 5/6 weeks (and under 5mm when they would expect to see a heartbeat) and so I have to come back next week to see whether it is in fact a MC, or whether the fetal pole that was visible has grown. Although I do have fairly irregular cycles I am sure enough of my dates, so pretty much know that it is a MMC.

As I need to wait a week, I want to make sure I have anything I might need - painkillers, pads, etc - in case I do go on to MC this week, before I'm offered a EPRC. From what I've read on MN it seems a pretty horrible thing to have to go through. My DH has been offered the week off work but I think it's probably best for him to go in, unless I start bleeding heavily or cramping, and then find it hard to care for my 2yo DTs.

Any advice would be welcome.

[8oreighty]

This is exactly what happened to me. The same thing, I also have twins who were nearly 2 at the time and the scan revealed twins, possible miscarriage, had to come back. ...so a week of not knowing, and waiting to miscarry. I waited and nothing happened so had an EPRC in the end as was days before xmas and we had to travel. Chances are it might take a while. Mumsnet was a huge help to me.

I don't have any other advice. The EPRC wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, I felt so much better after it than before, I was feeling quite sick with the hormones from the pregnancy. So don't worry if you need to do that. Friends that have had miscarriages have said they are pretty horrible, but manageable. I think you would have enough time to get your dh home from work if it started.

Sorry to hear and hope you are alright.

[sh77]

dairymoo - sorry for what you are going through. I found out at 9 weeks that my baby measured 5-6 weeks. I was told to come bck after 10 days. In that time my HCG tests confirmed MMC so I was fully prepared for bad news on scan day. I hoped for a natural loss but nothing happened by 12 weeks and so I had an ERPC.

Waiting for the loss was a very anxious time as I didn't know what to expect or how soon the worst of it would happen. 2 days before ERPC, heavy bleeding started but it was no worse than a period and I had no bad cramps. On morning of ERPC, I passed a big clot. I was starting to regret that I booked the ERPC but doc said he cleared a lot of stuff out. I have had only minimal bleeding and pain. Glad it is over.

If the pain gets bad, you can take ibuprofen and cocodamol together. My consultant said it was fine for my post-op pains.

I have read from other women's experiences that the natural loss can take many days. Bleeding and cramps will most likely build up gradually. Many women say the most intense pain is just before the sac is about to be passed and then it lessens.

Keep an eye out on your temp and any other signs of infection.

Also, perhaps it is worth finding out whether you can go straight to your gynae ward rather than a&e should your bleeding/cramps get too much. A&E may well keep you waiting but my gynae ward were brill and told me to go straight to them should I need to.

xx

[dairymoo]

Thanks both for your replies, and I'm sorry that you've both been through this as well. Feeling a bit numb about it all really, like it hasn't really sunk in. But then again, I think I may feel like this as I always wondered whether there was something wrong with this pg. Intuition is strange.

Sh77 - can you get Cocodamol over the counter or do you need a prescription? I may pop out tomorrow and just get some neurofen/paracetamol in case I start getting cramps. Am really hoping that it doesn't start on its own really as some of the stories I've read on here sound really scary. I think I'd prefer to go down the surgical route just so that it is over and I can move on. A long week ahead of me though now...

[just1moreplease]

dairymoo sorry you are going through this.

your story is very similar to my 1st mmc. i started to bleed a few days before going back for the confirmation scan, for me personally it was alot worse than i was led to believe it would be.

im not saying any of this to scare you, i really wish someone had been honest and told me what to expect.

i bled alot and had some really bad contraction like pains. i ended up going to hospital as an emergency. all i was told to expect was 'a heavy period type bleed and cramps'

i would make sure you have support in place should you need to go into hosp in an emergency, especially with dc's. and like you have already said stock up on pads, painkillers etc.

nobody warned me about what i might see aswell. i really dont want to upset you anymore than you already are but like i said, i wish someone had told me before i went through it.

i should also add that with my 2nd mc i had a much easier time, really was like a heavy period. you never know what your body is going to do.

i have also eperienced erpc and like sh77 said, they arent too bad. quick and pretty much painless.

the most important thing you can do is look after yourself. get some mag's, books or dvds and get on the sofa with your duvet and take it easy.

and dont forget that ther is always someone on here who you can talk to. god knows how i would have got through it as many times as i have without mn!!

take care xx

[sh77]

Not sure if cocodamol is an over the counter drug as we just had loads at home. Check with the pharmacist as codeine and ibuprofen have different properties so can be used effectively together. Check which combination of painkillers you can't take.

As more time passed, I was getting more terrified of what would happen/see and so am very glad for the ERPC.

Agree about intuition. My hubby and I both had dreams about 3 weeks before I started spotting that made me think this preg wouldn't work out. He never knows how to interpret them but it was obvious to me. Night before spotting, I woke up from very deep sleep as I thought I heard a sharp noise. When I woke up, I said to myself that the baby had died. Next night, the start of my MC appeared. I wasn't shocked. Weird. I suppose it is your subconcious warning/preparing you.

The people on here are really wonderful. I had so much support and so ask any questions you may have.

[dairymoo]

Just started bleeding and am having a few cramps too. Just rang the EPU and told them this and they said that by law they have a to wait a week and can't perform a D&C before then....but that A&E can. How ridiculous! So now I have to wait and see if it gets worse, which I'm sure it will, and then schlep to A&E to wait for 3 hours no doubt, before they agree to do anything.

Does this ring true for anyone else? Is there anything else I can do instead??

[EldonAve]

they don't want to give you a D&C/ERPC unless they are sure you are mc

if you suffer v heavy bleeding then call an ambulance

[8oreighty]

there is every chance nothing will happen until your next scan and then you will be offered the D&C almost immediately, this is what happened to me.

[BooPen]

Hi Dairymoo,
I am so sad to read your news.

Like many women here I have been though a missed mc and 3 'natural' mcs. With my first I had an ERPC 3 days after the mmc was diagnosed. Having later suffered 3 natural mcs I would personally favour the ERPC.
The natural losses were painful for me, and I did build up to quite severe cramping and an urge to push (that's how it felt as I have never been through labour) before passing the sac, after which the pains slowly eased.

I would support the other recommendations for coedine and ibuprofen in combination, neither of which require a prescription. I found tea and biscuits helped a little too!
Most of all, take the time you need to heal and grieve and talk to your DH and anyone else who can support you.

WIshing you happier times ahead,
Boo x

[dairymoo]

Thanks again. It does help talking to people who have been through it as, supportive as he is, my DH doesn't really understand the ins and outs of what physically happens during a MC, and I don't really want to talk in detail about it with him anyway.

I guess I'll just hold tight and go in to A&E if it gets a lot worse. At the moment I'm just bleeding on and off and occasionally having what feel like slight BH contactions.

I'm quite scared of passing the sac at home and I'm so sorry that you've had to go through that Boopen, must have been very distressing.

[pruneplus2]

Sorry you are going through this Dairy.

I am always shocked to read that women are sent home with no painkillers. With my first m/c the nurse sent me home with Codeine Phosphate and Tramadol (I had chosen conservative management) In the event I didnt need them as the pain was manageable with just a hot bath but they were there if needed.

My 2nd (again conservative management) m/c however was excruciating. Full on relentless contractions. I took paracetamol (which did absolutely nothing) as I completely forgot I had the Codeine and Tramadol and had a hot bath.

I m/c just after getting out of the bath first time and actually in the bath second time. The pain goes instantly once you actually miscarry.

A nice long, hot bath does wonders for pain relief and it might be handy to have a hot water bottle around - I suffered from a few abdominal afterpains but my back was really playing me up for the following few weeks.

Make sure you have plenty of "super" pads - I bled for around 2 weeks after m/c first time - second time was a bit different and was hospitalised with severe, heavy bleeding then went on to bleed for a further 4-5 weeks.

Unfortunately there is no telling how manageable the horrible experience will be. Everyone is different and we all cope in different ways. After a relatively simple "text book" first natural m/c (physically speaking) it was a shock to go on to have another natural m/c which ended up being extremely traumatic.

I would definately go straight for the ERPC if I am ever in the sad situation to have to make that decision again.

Make sure you have someone around - nobody can do anything for the physical side of things, but you will need emotional and practial support.

Best wishes x

[8oreighty]

Dairymoo, yes I think men don't really understand the loss that women feel. My dh is lovely and understanding but he just didn't quite get my sadness (and this was unplanned and slightly unwanted pg - twins again, etc...). I think the baby is real for you as soon as you know it is growing inside you, dh doesn't really have that experience. It took me months to stop feeling really sad about it, I def. needed to mourn. Do keep talking to friends, and take care of yourself. xxx

[dairymoo]

Well, I actually MC this afternoon and it was horrible. I started getting contractions at about 2pm and by 4:30pm it was all over. It was just as painful as labour, but I was really glad that I'd read some threads on MN that described as so, as otherwise I think I'd have been absolutely terrified. My DH was at work and luckily my DTs are Peppa Pig obsessed so just watched TV for 1.5 hours as I went through the worst of it.

DH got home just after I passed the last large clump of tissue and the pain eased almost immediately but we went to A&E anyway just to check I didn't lose too much blood.
Got the all clear and am home now, feeling much better actually.

Now just need to wait for the scan on Tues to check that there isn't any retained tissue. Really hope not...

Thanks for all the support, I really appreciate it.

[BooPen]

Dairymoo I am glad that, what for me was the worst part, is over for you
Look after yourself, am sure all will be fine on Tuesday x

[8oreighty]

Dairymoo, that sounds really traumatic, I'm so glad it's all over. Hope you can get some time on your own for yourself this week. xx

[sh77]

Hey glad that this didn't drag out for you and that the worst of it is over. I hope you take a good rest and are looked after. xx

[dairymoo]

Thanks again.

Can I just ask whether it is normal to have some stabbing pains after the MC has actually happened. Bleeding seems to be much lighter today, still a little heavy at times, although I am not really passing any more clots. Every so often I do get some really sharp pains in my womb-area, and sometimes even further south, like almost around my vagina and, erm, bottom. I tore quite badly with my first pregnancy and I'm just a little worried about getting an infection in that area. Would that even be possible as I'm sure with a MC you don't dilate enough to stretch a previous scar, or do you?

Guess I can ask all thes questions at the scan on Tuesday...

[christina1971]

Dairymoo, so sorry to hear what has happened.
I had a mmc last summer, and had to wait a week after the scan to see if I would miscarry naturally. I didn't, and then had to have a d and c. The wait was the worst part. At the hospital they were lovely, and after the procedure, even though I felt exhausted emotionally, I felt I could start grieving, while during the wait, I felt in limbo- really awful. After the d qnd c, I had what felt like period pains, but felt physically better 2 or 3 days later.Tearful for a few weeks after.
We had to wait 3 months before trying again, and I got pregnant at Christmas. Baby boy was born in September, who is now full of smiles and chuckles.
Thinking of you.