please help: v scared & confused

[tetleytea]

I'm 9 weeks and i think i'm in the middle of a miscarriage. It's like i'm having a period, but it's getting heavier and heavier as the hours go by. My gyno has just left town for a week and she has told me to go the hospital.

I'm pretty certain it's a miscarriage...I'm cramping a lot .

My problem is this,we live abroad, in southern italy and the hospitals are terrible. I know that they give you a D&C if you miscarry, but i know that in the uk they don't do that so much now. I'm terrified of this preocedure.

please can you advise me? At 9 weeks do i have to have a d&c or is it better to let nature take its course. I feel i've got to prepare myself, hospital staff are famously cold and unfeeling here.

please help

I'm so, so sorry that you are going through this.

How heavily are you bleeding ? Do you need to change your pad more than every hour ? If so, you need to go to the hospital. Otherwise, there is no reason that you necessarily need an ERPC - you can just see how things go.

But if at any time you are filling a pad in less than an hour, if the pain is too much, or your bleeding/discharge smells (unlike the metallic smell of blood) or looks weird, then you do need to go.

You can expect lots of clots, some of which might be quite big, and tbvh I'd recommend that when you go to the loo, you just stand straight up afterwards and flush without looking. Its when you tend to lose most clots etc, and it's just best not to look imo

hello tetleytea I'm so sorry you're having problems

I think the first thing you need to do is get a scan done to determine what is going on. I assume that is why your gynae wants you to go to hospital?

If it is bad news then here in the UK they generally give you a choice - an ERPC (similar to the D&C) or letting nature take its course. The ERPC is done under a general anaesthetic.

I am currently miscarrying - heavy bleeding started at 9 weeks although we had known for a few days it was not viable. It has been very painful with heavy blood flow, just to warn you.

If you don't want the D&C I think you'd be OK going the natural route but it's really down to the medical staff to advise you. But ask them, I think that's all you can do.

I don't think I've actually been all that much help, I really do think you need to see what the hospital say.

Hi Tetley

I responded to your other post. IF (and it is only an if until it is confirmed with a scan) you are having a MC, it could be that you are having a natural loss at the moment with all the bleeding. Are you seeing any big clots? If this is a natural loss, then you won't need d&c unless there are retained tissues, which could cause infection. Look out for infection signs e.g. tempertaure, too much pain, too much blod loss. You will still have to get a scan after the bleeding stops to make sure all tissue has left.

I am having a missed MC at the mo, but I am not having much bleeding or cramps. MC confirmed with blood tests and scan. I really prefer a natural loss but as baby died about 5-6 weeks ago (I will be 11 weeks on riday), I may need the op next week.

Let us know if you have any other questions.

Hi Tetley

I responded to your other post. IF (and it is only an if until it is confirmed with a scan) you are having a MC, it could be that you are having a natural loss at the moment with all the bleeding. Are you seeing any big clots? If this is a natural loss, then you won't need d&c unless there are retained tissues, which could cause infection. Look out for infection signs e.g. tempertaure, too much pain, too much blod loss. You will still have to get a scan after the bleeding stops to make sure all tissue has left.

I am having a missed MC at the mo, but I am not having much bleeding or cramps. MC confirmed with blood tests and scan. I really prefer a natural loss but as baby died about 5-6 weeks ago (I will be 11 weeks on riday), I may need the op next week.

Let us know if you have any other questions.

Thank you so much for replying. I am losing a lot of blood and when i went to the loo an hour ago i feel like i passed a lot of big clots - it was pretty horrid. do you really think this might mean that i'm already "losing" everything?

My OH has found a friend of friend at one of the hospitals and we have an appt this afternoon. I don't know what to think and am trying to prepare myself for the worst. To think that this time yesterday everything was uterly normal.

I really appreciate your replies - don't know what i would do without MN.

It is a very anxious time, I know. My sister in law is also 10 weeks pregnant and for about a week, she passed a lot of clots and blood but everything was fine. It is so hard to say what is going on without the scan.

Just so you know, if they can't see much on the abdominal scan, you may need to have a vaginal scan. It isn't painful at all.

Ask them if your cervix is opened or closed and can they see blood in/around the sac. I am sure they will give you baby's measurements. Not sure if they will offer HCG blood tests but worth asking for incase scan is nit conclusive. My HCG bloods confirmed my MC as the wait for my 2nd scan (10 days after 1st) was agony.

I really hope everything is ok. Please let us know what happens.

Hi CMOT, Claire and sh77

I'm back from my appt. The scan showed there was nothing there I was semi prepared for it before i got there so it wasn't a massive shock. I think I've actually been a bit lucky because, according to doc, i seem to have passed a lot of stuff already today. And the doc also said he thought the natural route is best.

I'm definitely a bit in denial, but maybe that's for the best. 24 hours ago everything was completely normal - bizarre how it can happen just like that.

Claire and sh i wish you all the best for the next few weeks. Thanks so much all of you for being there. What a journey this is.

Oh tetley, really sorry. It is shite, I know. I think in this situation, I have felt it better to be given signs that things may not work out rather than turn up at a scan, everything feeling normal, only to be told the opposite. It sounds like, physically, it won't be a long, drawn out proces for you.

Take good care of yourself. I have had the worst 6 months of my life and it has taught me to expect the unexpected. I never looked too far forward with this preg and it has helped me to cope.

I'm so sorry tetley I really am. It seems so unfair and completely agree it seems wrong given it was all OK just a short time ago.

sh77 I agree with you, both my mc's we knew there was a potential probloem and the scan was done because of that, have always thought it must be extremely difficult to turn up for your scheduled 12 week scan and find it isn't OK when you just had no inkling.

Tetley take care of yourself xx

I'm so sorry. I've had three mc's, and it was least worst to turn up for a scan expecting the worst, than my first for which I turned up for my 12 week scan with no idea

CMOT, Claire and sh77

Thank you so much for your posts and your kind words. It was so good to get your advice on wednesday when it was all happening. You really helped in a very scary moment.

2 days on and I'm starting to take it all in. Italian hospitals are well dodgy but I'll say one thing for them, they're great at handing out long prescriptions for drugs when necessary.So i'm having injections of anti-spasmic painkillers twice a day which keeps everything pretty numb, thank heavens.

I feel humbled reading that all of you have had a pretty hard time and more than one mc. It puts things in perspective. Thanks agin and I wish you all the best. I hope we meet again in the future on the birth announcement pages.

Lovely post. Wish you all the best and a quick physical recovery. I had so much support on my thread that it moved me to tears. The people on here are really lovely but also upfront so you do get good practical advice.

Good tip on the anti-spasmic painkillers. I am still waiting for a big bleed and natural loss. I think I will have the medical management option ie tablets early next week and will ask for this type of pain killer.

The anti-spasmic stuff is called Spasmex (floroglucina) 40mg/4ml. It's a bit of a household name here in Italy. The pills never really did anything for me in the past(friends used to suggest it for terrible period pain) but the injections really do work, and you can take paracetamol at the same time if necessary, as they work completely differently. x