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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

My bf just told me she had a miscarriage - What can I do to help her, ease the pain ?

12 replies

DeathbySummerfruit · 27/10/2009 14:25

She didnt know she was pregnant, it came as a huge shock..what can I do to cheer her up a little ? I'm in pieces on her behalf, so please excuse me if my post doesnt make sense.

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SpeckledHen · 27/10/2009 14:39

I've had 5 mcs. I would say just be there for her and let her talk. Let her know you care.

IsItMeOr · 27/10/2009 14:47

What SpeckledHen said. I wouldn't expect to be able to cheer her up, but just be there if she wants to talk. She might not want to. But do keep in touch with her and keep on doing the kinds of things the two of you have enjoyed doing together in the past.

It will get better in time, honestly.

DeathbySummerfruit · 27/10/2009 15:49

Thank you girls. I'm going to do exactly just that, do you think I could offer her a spa treatment, like massage or facial just to realx her a little ?

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Kazzac69 · 27/10/2009 15:57

Hi Deathbysummerfruit

You're a fabulous friend for supporting her. You just have to listen to her and realise that she's suffered a loss, many people trivilise miscarriages when they haven't been through it themselves but it was her baby.

x

DeathbySummerfruit · 27/10/2009 16:01

Thanks Kazza, I have just texted her to let her know that if she needs a chat I'm here for her anytime. Thank you again Kazza

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EllieG · 27/10/2009 16:04

Texting her is good as she may not want to talk but just want to know you are there.

My friend sent me an orchid - I knew, without her saying anything that she wanted me to have something lovely but that wouldn't die quickly like cut flowers do. That meant a lot to me.

EllieG · 27/10/2009 16:04

And also - same as kazza - you sound like a lovely friend, and am sure whatever you do will be the right thing, as she will know you care

annie51 · 27/10/2009 17:04

Buy her a little something as a memento, eg a gift box so that she can have a memory box maybe put a scan photo or a letter to baby in.

DeathbySummerfruit · 27/10/2009 19:22

Thank once again for your kind suggestions !

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DeathbySummerfruit · 28/10/2009 08:49

I tought maybe I could pop in to her place and drop a box of her fav choccies and a voucher for a massage or facial and a hug obviously. Good or bad idea ?

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EllieG · 28/10/2009 09:23

Good idea. Can never be a bad thing to show someone you care, and her body may well be feeling like it's gone through the mill a bit, so a bit of pampering could do her the world of good.

DeathbySummerfruit · 28/10/2009 09:37

Thanks Ellieg, I'm going to organise it this morning with 4 kids in tow !

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