Missed miscarriage - how long before it starts?

[GoldenKippers]

I started to have a tiny amount of brown discharge last Saturday (17th Oct) when I thought I was 11 and a half weeks pregnant. The out of hours doctor said it was nothing to worry about, but to call the midwife on Monday.

I saw my GP on Tuesday after I had a miniscule bit of bleeding and went for an scan, which revealed that the embryo had died or failed to develop after about 5 or 6 weeks. This was a complete shock and very sad, as my husband and I had spent so long assuming I was pregnant and looking forward so much to having a baby next May. I had no sickness, but I've heard from and read about other women who also didn't get sick at all, and as it was my first pregnancy I wasn't really sure what to expect.

After speaking to the nurse I chose to wait to miscarry naturally. This was on Tuesday, and I'm still waiting. (I have an appointment for another scan on 3 November to check everything has been expelled).

I'd be grateful if anyone else who has had a similar experience could let me know how long it took before they began to miscarry. I daren't go far from a toilet or do anything very much in case it starts, though I've no idea if it will suddenly gush out or start gradually. The nurse told me it will be quite painful and prescribed me strong painkillers, so I just want it to be over and done with.

So sorry to hear of your loss. My friend is going through the same at the moment.

From what i gather, there is no time scale to it as everyone is different. Not everyone will suffer from pain but some will.

I think it's a good choice to allow it to happen naturally - like my friend - however stay open minded that you may end up needing a d&c if it doesn't happen naturally. Although you don't want one now it may be the only option in the end to prevent and infections.

My suggestion would be to take the painkillers at any sign of either pain of bleeding to try to get on top of it. Then leave it as long as you can until the doctor advises on d&c - this way you give your body a chance to do it naturally.

I don't know if that answers your question and i'm sure someone else will jump in with some advice but i didn't want you to go un-answered.

I hope you get a good result in the end and i'm sure you will go on to have a healthy baby when the time is right.

Stay positive and wishing you lots of luck.

hi there golden. So sorry - it's a horrible shock when this happens.
None of my miscarriages have been as late as yours, (mine have mostly been around the eight week mark) but don't worry about a rush of blood. it's not that dramatic!
i'm not a doctor but i think it's highly highly unlikely to happen that way, especially from what you describe has happened already. usually the discharge builds up quite gradually. it can take a good week to get going. it might then become quite heavy but it won't necessarily be painful. I'm having my fourth miscarriage just now; still waiting for the bleeding to start now, even though the embryo died three weeks ago. With my previous miscarriages it was never at all painful. i think it varies from one person to another, but there should be no need to stay in the house waiting for it to happen - that will just make it harder for you. plenty of support here if you have other questions etc. look after yourself and remember this will probably never happen to you again.

It will probably start gradually but if you go out it may be best to take heavy pads and spare clothes with you

It can take a few weeks to start - for me it took a week from the brown blood

Thanks everyone for your replies - it's really helpful and supportive to hear from people who have had similar experiences. I think I just have to be patient now and hopefully we'll be more lucky second time round. I vary between feeling very sad and being more pragmatic that it's just one of those things. I'm trying not to feel jealous of women who have had healthy pregnancies. Kissmummy, I'm so sorry to hear you've had four miscarriages; I hope things will work out for you in the future.

Sarah

Golden Kippers, I just wanted to say i went through very similar to you back in August this year and it was also my first pregnancy.

I was supposed to be nearly 11-12 weeks when i started bleeding very very light- in fact it was just light , I had a shock of course and rang NHS direct who told me to ring midwife and i also got a drs appt. Midwife was not really that good. The dr then refered me to EPU. bleeding was still only light and dottty. I could not get an appt till the weds. By then bleeding was on and off. Anyway the scan revealed that it was only 6-7 weeks. I was due for 12 week scan on the week after!. They offered me 3 things- - tablets, natural and op. i chose tabs - - it brought the hormone levels down. I took one then i was sent home. heavy bleeding diddnt start until mid afternoon- - - then it got heavier and heavier - then i felt a little pain but not as much as i expected. there were a few large clots and thats when it was most painfull. I took some paracetamol but that was it. I was realy scared tho as i diddnt know what to expect and how it would happen. When i went to the loo was when it happened. NExt morning just had a few more clots. and that was it it was nearly over- - . Friday i went back to have the other tables that would make me miscarry- - But it had alrady happened at home, so the tablets just flushed things out- - nothing really came out tho. then i was just sent home - emtpy as every. Had a follow up scan the next week, and I was empty inside and therefore nothign to worry that I would get infected.

For me- - I was not in that much pain and bleeding stoppped quite soon too.

Now want to try for another baby but so scared.

All i can say to you and my advice is expect the worse and hope for the best. That way you wont go unprepared. I would say tho prepare for loads of tears. I was a wreck.

I trying NOt to feel jelous or anything like that - - its hard. Go with the flow. I have been around so many people who are preg or had new babies and it gets me upset sometimes.

Be strong , its hard but it does get easier as each day passes.

So many people have so many stories, but only you know how you feel,

My advice is that try to keep busy. I diddnt- - and it gave me more time to think.

We had also spent a lot of time thinking I was pregnent- - for at least 4 weeks, al that time i diddnt know- my body didnt kow what was going on. thats hard , i was kicking mylsef thinking how did i not know. I also asked nurses loads of questions about the how and whys. Try not to blame yourself or anything. I would have been having my baby in march. But It obviously was not right.

It was also scary reading other peoples stories and fearing the worst would happen to me. Dont do that.

You will probaly then worry when you will get your next period. There are treads on that too. But worry about your health for now. It will happen in its own time.

take plenty of rest. Good luck with the whole thing and take care of yourself.

I hope what i said helped tho it was just me telling you about my exp.

Jules80