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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

I'm having a v early mc & need a bit of advice.

10 replies

SilverBoots · 06/10/2009 10:54

As my brain isn't up to much at the moment, I was wondering if anyone could help.

Last monday I had a BFP.

On thursday morning (4+1)I tested again & the BFP line was stronger but that night I started spotting, it gradually got heavier - bright red & some clots, backache.

I'm still bleeding now & all pregnancy symptoms have disappeared. Two things are on my mind:

  1. Is it really necessary to go to the doctors or EPU? It's very likely that I would embarrass myself by sobbing uncontrollably & not be very coherant (my spelling had gone to pot) if I had to actually explain what was happening. I wouldn't really take anything in advice wise.

  2. Would I actually know if I had 'passed' the little one? Maybe I have already. Not sure what to expect & wanted to say sorry & goodbye.

    SB x
OP posts:
GhostWriter · 06/10/2009 11:02

With a very early miscarriage/chemical pregnancy it's not necessary to see a GP unless you experience unusual pains/offensive smelling discharge/abnormal bleeding.

Chemical pregnancies are very common indeed and it is only because of early testing and sensitive hpts that we pick up on them. Once upon a time and even now in couples not ttc, you would just assume your period was a couple of days late.

I only mention this to reassure you that it happens often (to most people it is believed, up to 50% of all cycles when ttc) and does not require intervention in most cases. It does not take away from your sadness. As soon as you see the line you imagine a whole life for your child and it is that you are grieving for.

Be kind to yourself.

NUFC1981 · 06/10/2009 11:48

Hi Silverboots,

I'm so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I had my mc about 2 weeks ago now and I didn't really know what was happening, I thought it was a water infection. I didn't notice when I had 'passed' the little one but it must have happened at some point.

The only thing is that when I went to the hospital and had the mc confirmed, I had to have a couple of blood tests to check the pregnancy hormone was dropping because if it isn't then that can signal an ectopic pregnancy that you have to have a little operation for. I really wouldn't worry about crying at the hospital, they deal with this kind of thing all the time, i was crying my eyes out!!

Ectopic pregnancies are very rare but it may be worth just going the doctors or hospital to get checked out.

messylittlemonkey · 06/10/2009 11:59

Hi Silverboots,

I'm sorry for your loss. I've been there twice in the past year or so, both times mc-ing at around the 4.5 week mark. The first time I did see my GP as I didn't really know what was happening, but he basically said just let your body get on with it, which it did. I found I had slightly stronger AF type cramps for a couple of days, and the bleeding was a bit heavier, but really not much more than a normal period. Same thing second time too. Both times I had BFPs and early signs, which then disappeared when the bleeding started. You have to remember that the embryo is minute at this stage so there would be nothing to see. I'm sure you will pass it without need of any medical intervention, although this did worry me the first time too.

I don't know what your situation is, but I already have a DD who is nearly four and she was conceived very easily! I was surprised to then have these early mcs when trying for no.2. On a positive note, I am now 15+3 with DC2 and things going well, although it did look as though I was going to mc this time too as I had spotting/light bleeding for about 24 hours at around the 4 week mark. Luckily, it stopped and the pg continued this time, so there is hope!

I hope you feeling better soon and good luck if trying again.


SilverBoots · 06/10/2009 12:57

Thank you for kind words, advice & sharing your experiences.

I'm so sorry for your losses NUFC1981 & MLM GhostWriter - I think 'First Response' can play some cruel 'tricks'. I'm actually quite shocked by how upset I've been.

NUFC1981 - I hope you are feeling OK now. Ectopic was DHs concern, but I thought if it was I would be in a lot more pain. I'll do a pg test tomorrow to check hormones.

MLM - all best wishes for a happy, healthy DC2 pregnancy!


OP posts:
GhostWriter · 06/10/2009 13:06

SilverBoots, you are upset because, as I said, you're grieving for a baby. The 9 months of pregnancy, the birth, the first days. It's an entire life and when the promise of that disappears it's terribly upsetting.

Let yourself feel however you need to feel and don't feel ashamed of it. It's very raw at the moment. I've been there, so many of us have and MN is here if you need to talk about it/cry/shout/laugh.

roundabout1 · 06/10/2009 15:06

Hi Silverboots - I had an early mc at 6 weeks at beg Sept, I'd only found out the day before so only had a day to get excited & I couldn't believe how upset I was. You do need to grieve & I know what you mean about crying if you were talking about it. I rang my gp who was very sympathetic & basically gave the same advice as ghostwriter. I know I was very emotional for a few days & then seemed better, the next week by dd started school & was finding that really hard & that left me in a complete mess. I suppose because of the mc & the hormones just made everything so much more emotional. Be kind to yourself & give yourself time to grieve for you little bean.

countingto10 · 06/10/2009 17:49

Hi Silverboots, I had an early mc at about 6 weeks 5 years ago. I bled heavily for a day then stopped, did a 2nd pregnancy test that still showed positive so I was a bit concerned. I did another pregnancy test a couple of days later that was negative. I 'phoned the doctor for advice as concerned I had only bled for one day, he said I had mc as had 2 positive tests and then negative which was good IYSWIM but he gave me a course of antibiotics in case I had an infection due to lack of bleeding. Period came as normal 4 weeks later.

I was incredibly upset at the mc which surprised me as it was early into the pregnancy and it was my 4th pregnancy but 1st mc. I thought I would be philosophical (sp?) about it but I was distraught. I conceived after the subsequent period and now have DS4.

Give your GP a ring if you are concerned.

Bests wishes for the future.

skinsl · 07/10/2009 09:38

Have you done another pregnancy test? Don't mean to give you false hope, but plenty of pregnancies have some bleeding.
I have had a couple of early mc this year, been to EPU and the only thing they did was monitor hormone levels, which you can do yourself(to a degree) with pregnancy tests. But I did go with the 2nd one so they could confirm it and then I could get referred for fertility. Unless you have complications or want to go to GP/EPU for confirmation, I wouldn't upset yourself further.
Both times for me if I hadn't have done the pregnancy test I would have just thought my period was late, maybe slightly heavier bleeding but nothing more.
And cry as much as you want. x x

SilverBoots · 07/10/2009 17:54

Thank you for replying and so sorry that you have gone through the same thing.

I did a clear blue pg test this morning - 'not pregnant'. Strange how a bunch of cells can fill you with that incredibe excitement & then next bring you crashing down to reality.

I know that I'm incredibly lucky, I have 3DCs. This was my 6th (and last - I've decided that I can't go through this again) pregnancy.

SB x

OP posts:
skinsl · 08/10/2009 07:33

I'm so sorry.
Hope you are ok

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