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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Any 'older' ladies out there who are yet to have children and have miscarried ?

14 replies

jasmine7 · 28/09/2009 15:58

Hi there

I wondered if there are any 'older' ladies out there, currently without children, who've miscarried? I have my second mc in a year in August and am struggling to come to terms with it - big time.

To top it all, my partner has left, so things are not very rosy at all right now, to put it mildly. I just wonder if there's anyone out there who's faced a similar situation?


Jas x

OP posts:
SpeckledHen · 28/09/2009 16:13

So sorry Jasmine. Not sure how to answer as not sure how old you are. In terms of celebs, Caroline Quentin had a series of mcs and babies in her 40s as did Rachle de Thame.

jasmine7 · 28/09/2009 17:39

Hi SpeckledHen

Thanks for that - I am 43, and just wanted to see if there were any ladies on this forum who are in a similar situation.

Good to hear about these celebs though, that's encouraging. Thanks again, Jas x

OP posts:
pippapenguin · 28/09/2009 19:53

Hi Jasmine, I'm 42 and had a miscarriage at 10 weeks about ten days ago. I have 3 grown up children but would dearly love a child with my second DP. Feel like time is slipping away from us now,though. This was my second miscarriage.

Joolsiam · 28/09/2009 20:06

Hi Jasmine

I'm 40 in 6 weeks - no kids. Have had one chemical pregnancy in July 08, an MC at 11+5 in Nov 08, MC at 5+6 April 09...

Have had all the tests - nothing wrong but ageing eggs and I have to crack open a few more before I find one still in date. DP is a little less enthusiastic these days though, and keeps failing to perform on the crucial days

All I can say is it gets better each day, little by little. I'm not sure I'll ever feel "right" again though

louisesh · 28/09/2009 20:15

Hi jasmine I m 38, 39 in Dec no DC and had 2 MCS .Last oct a MMC and 3 weeks ago 2 nd MC.I found counselling helped me lots, doesn t work for everyone though...Sometimes life is just crap!!!!

But we plod on and hope it will get better!!!!

louisesh · 28/09/2009 20:16

Hi jasmine I m 38, 39 in Dec no DC and had 2 MCS .Last oct a MMC and 3 weeks ago 2 nd MC.I found counselling helped me lots, doesn t work for everyone though...Sometimes life is just crap!!!!

But we plod on and hope it will get better!!!!

randomimposter · 28/09/2009 21:12

Dunno if this helps.

I fell first month at 39 - son now 16 months.
Tried again when he turned one, fell first month again (so now 41), but had a MMC at 12+6.

Have just had first period after MC, and will try again. Swing between feeling positive I can get/stay pregnant again, and thinking my gorgeous boy will be an only child.

I DO believe positive thought IS important - I send you the very best wishes...

randomimposter · 29/09/2009 07:55

I thought of something else that might encourage you (I find all success stories in over 40 mums motivational!).

A gay friend of mine who will be 44 in November gave birth to a beautiful boy in August; conceived via AI on only the 3rd attempt.

IT IS POSSIBLE! stay strong!

spidershavearrived · 29/09/2009 19:45

Not my story but a friends - age 43 in Nov, had 4 mc's but went on to have the most beautiful healthy little girl.

I am 38 had a mc too but went on to have my son who is my pride and joy - will be ttc again, perhaps after Xmas - the fear of mc is stupidly already present....

Fingers crossed.

surfingclare · 30/09/2009 13:13

Hi JasmineI am 41, I have had 3 mc's in the last two and half years. I have just had to have an op to remove fibroids which could have been causing the mc's and I also have a blood disorder so feel the odds are stacked against me! BUT you have to stay positive and believe that it will happen.

jasmine7 · 01/10/2009 17:31

Thanks to all of you. Your stories are inspiring. What a lot we go through, though, hey? I'm just finding the staying positive bit very hard - esp after my 'man' leaving me; I SO thought he was 'the one'.

Good luck to you all. Love Jas x

OP posts:
DuelingFanjo · 01/10/2009 17:35

Hi there, am so sorry to hear about your losses.

I am 39 and had a miscarriage earlier this year after trying for nearly 2 years to have my first child. I can really understand how hard it is to remain positive and I am scared that I am becoming more and more bitter as time goes on. I don't like being a 'not very nice person' as a result of my issues but I feel like there is very little support and understanding. Most people around me have no understanding of the pain it causes.

I am keeping my fingers crossed every month but it does tend to get you down after a while.

aliwally · 08/10/2009 14:00

Hi everyone - my story is I'll be 41 in December, have no kids yet, and have today found that I'm 4 weeks pregnant for the 7th time. I lost all 6 over the last three years before the 12 week stage. Had all the tests, but they found no problems. I injected heparin with the last baby. It should have worked, but the little mite had Turners Syndrome (chromosomal abnormality) so did not live beyond 9 weeks, but could have done, as some people are born with it. So, 7th time lucky? Who knows. I know it's tough, and we can all feel bitter and like "not nice" people, but my motto has always been live your life, enjoy the little moments and enjoy your friends and family (esp the children) - we don't know what's around the corner. Big cyber hugs to you all. x

linny28 · 17/10/2009 23:09

Hi all,

I'm so sorry for all your losses. I had a miscarriage at the age of 38, was my first but the 2nd is now a healthy baby boy, now 14 months. My sister is 38 and has just lost her first at 10 wks, exactly when I did so I know exactly what she's going through.

Unless you've had one, nobody knows about the personal pain, the depression, the sadness and worst of all, the longing, when you see other babies.

I know how hard it is to keep positive and you just don't know how you will bounce back - but you do, and when it does happen, its always at the right time. Its an old cliche but do try to stay positive and hopeful, as your state of mind makes a difference, I am sure. If any of you believe in angels, ask them to support and help you through your difficult times, if you don't, then make sure the most important people in your lives are there to support and help you.

Hugs to you all
Lin xx

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