Hello, I am new to MN and I'm wondering if anyone here might have had a similar experience to mine?
Back story: I am 41, always wanted children, somehow never found right person to have them with (several commitment-phobic boyfs), but then met the right person, whom I adore, last Christmas and conceived naturally in May. Both delighted and cautiously excited ...
Then, light spotting at 7 wks, nothing like blood, just a pale brown discharge, but GP was sympathetic and sent me for scan, where we saw heartbeat. Follow-up scan showed heartbeat at 9 wks, and that fetus had grown, doctors said all normal ... so we felt reasonably confident.
At 11 wks pregnant, I had to go to family wedding in North Wales (without father-to-be) - and started bleeding the moment I sat down in church. Abandoned reception, returned to hotel and within a couple of hours was having excrutiatingly painful contractions and passing huge amounts of blood and tissue. All very violent and visceral, as well as heartbreaking. My mother returned from wedding reception v worried and called ambulance. I got taken to Gwynedd Hospital in Bangor, and was eventually examined and given gas and air after I had repeated my postcode five times. Kind midwife said it was possible fetus could be OK, and I held onto that hope as hospital could not give me a scan for 36 hrs (no scans at weekends). But scan on Monday confirmed empty pregnancy sac: poor babe must have slipped down the loo at hotel on Saturday night while I was screaming.
Medical staff advised against D&C, as I had already lost so much (I was anaemic with blood loss and had v low blood pressure, 88 / 57). So I opted for medical route, taking prostaglandins (Misoposotal) for 24 hrs. Unfortunately, they failed to stimulate rest of miscarriage and I ended up discharging myself after four days in hospital knowing there was more Remains of Pregnancy to come - but staff said not very much and best to leave nature to its course.
However, I have now been bleeding every single day for nearly six weeks, sometimes painfully and, in the last 72 hrs, violently: suddenly I've been passing such big clots, with so much fresh blood, that I've been unable to stray from my bathroom for more than half an hour. I can overfill a Mooncup (capacity 15ml) in 20 minutes, it's quite mad.
After two days' persistence, I got a scan at local hospital this morning and by luck got the consultant gynaecologist. She said enough was enough and has booked me into theatre for ERPC tomorrow (though it may not happen until next week if a bed doesn't come free). Blood pressure v low again: 88/65.
Now wish I had had an ERPC / D&C immediately after onset of miscarriage, at the hospital in Wales. The past six weeks have been tough emotionally and harder for still going through it physically - I feel I've been in a limbo, grieving for the little one we lost, but also trying to keep my spirits up and be positive about our chances of conceiving another, and all this while I've still been pouring blood - as if my womb is still desperately trying to support the babe who's gone. I'm unsure whether I'm going forwards or backwards. If that makes sense.
Can't help worrying it was an utter fluke to conceive at 40 (just a week before I turned 41) and that I'll never manage it again. Though I do have some frozen eggs - harvested at Hammersmith IVF when I had melanoma skin cancer two years ago in case I had to have treatment that would leave me infertile. Most thankfully, melanonoma was caught before it spread and I've since been given green light to live life much as before. Eggs were frozen by new method, Bologna Protocol, and Hammersmith IVF has yet to try defrosting any ... so chances of them being viable is still a big unknown. Hopefully we will get there on our own again, and have better luck next time. Gynae has meanwhile instructed tests - HPG xray, blood tests re antibodies, etc - to investigate why we miscarried this time; he suspects uterine problems rather than chromosomal abnormality as the cause since I miscarried relatively late, and we know fetus was alive and well at 9 wks, perhaps longer. But I can't do these tests until cycle returns to normal and right now my cycle is nowhere to be seen. Frustrating ...
This is my first miscarriage - would have been my first baby - so I have nothing to compare it with. I would be very interested to hear your views. Meanwhile thanks for reading my over-long post!