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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Flip

Original poster

I miss her so much

18 replies

giraffesCanRunA10k · 13/08/2009 09:59

Best friends having her baby girl today. I am green. Its not a nice trait I know.

I want to be taking my daughter up to the hospital to meet her new baby, not walking up alone and leaving alone - again.

I physically ache today. I have no idea how I am going to get through today, taking it an hour at a time at the moment.

OP posts:

CMOTdibbler · 13/08/2009 10:03

Not a lot I can say, but sending a big hug, and thoughts for you and your angel.

Hassled · 13/08/2009 10:03

I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to say.

cornsillk · 13/08/2009 10:05

I'm very sorry giraffes

PolarBear74 · 13/08/2009 11:01

I'm so sorry to hear about how you feel. I send you a big hug and know I will feel the same when my friend and sister in law have their babies. I find it hard to be near them now and know I when they give birth I will find it so hard. x

Flower3545 · 13/08/2009 11:29

I'm so sorry, I've an idea how you're feeling, my brother and his wife had a baby 4 weeks before our second much wanted baby would have been due to be born. I miscarried at 2 months

Going to visit her in hospital and putting a smiley face on was one of my finer acting moments.

Hugs giraffes.

Mouette · 13/08/2009 13:07

Dear Giraffes
I am very sorry. My SIL gave birth 2 weeks after I lost my first baby (at 17 weeks) and it was horrendously hard. Every time I looked at the new baby I saw my dead son's face. Don't feel obliged to feel or look happy - they should understand what you are going through. You might want to limit contact afterwards if it hurts too much. Honestly, it will not make a difference in the long term, and it might save you a lot of heartache. Think about your other DD - at least you have her. xx
Polar Bear: I too was dreading it. I forced myself to go and see the niece when she was born, and then limited contact. My SIL didn't really understand - but I saw no point in crying for days on end after each visit. People need to understand a mc is a bereavement, not something you can just put behind you and forget about - sadly I found a lot of people didn't understand that and just wanted me to "cheer up" and "take my mind off it". As if! My boss was 3 months pregnant when I lost my baby by the way, so I had to deal with that as well. But as it was at work it wasn't so hard and people were quite understanding. xx

Mouette · 13/08/2009 13:08

I should add that it does get better. Counselling and the church helped, and now I have a beautiful baby boy. But I will never forget my first son. He would have been 1 year old this September. xx

MmeLindt · 13/08/2009 13:09

So sorry, Giraffes. Take care of yourself.

cocolepew · 13/08/2009 13:10

Giraffes, I'm so sorry. Take care.

weegiemum · 13/08/2009 13:12

Oh Giraffes, a big unmumsnetty (hug) for you.

Take care of yourself, just do what you need to. A good friend will understand if you can't make it.

VinegarTits · 13/08/2009 13:24

(hi giraffes, your profile pics just bought a tear to my eye, shhh dont tell anyone, spoil my hardcore image hugs to you)

nicknameidlike · 13/08/2009 13:50

hi giraffes you dont know me but just wanted to send you best wishes today i know a wee bit about how you feel ...to try and cheer you up that insect in your pics is a hairy wully caterpillar which grows into a beautiful tortoiseshell butterfly now tell me you didnt sqaush it????

Original poster

giraffesCanRunA10k · 13/08/2009 17:06

Mouette - I don't have another DD on earth, my DD is Rosie.

Best friends had her baby girl. She is beautiful. Have cried. Lots.

I saw my 2 favourite children today, I asked what they thought she should name the baby and 5yr old said Rosie. Saw lots and lots and lots of butterflies in the garden today with them. And the card I bought my best friend has a tiny butterfly on it. (Roses and butterflies are my comfort memory thing)

Feel really drained. I am so happy her baby is here and she is safe. But it does make me wonder why my mine didn't arrive safely

OP posts:

geordieminx · 13/08/2009 17:09

Thinking of you Giraffes. There are no words to make your pain better. XxX

weegiemum · 13/08/2009 17:19

Giraffes, if you want to meet up for a coffee next week when mine are back at school, you have my email. It would be nice to see you again!

claireybee · 13/08/2009 17:26

Oh Giraffes I'm so sorry. It must be so so hard for you.

Hope you're ok

Mouette · 13/08/2009 18:14

Oh Giraffes I'm so so sorry. I misunderstood! I apologise. There's not much I can say, except that I do understand. Life is very very unfair sometimes. I will say a prayer for your dear daughter up there with God, in a garden with lots of butterflies. Maybe my son is with them too. He's called Paul. xx

Mamulik · 17/08/2009 17:07

your baby can see you now, so dont be sad!

Flip