My feed

to access all these features

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum.

Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Partners reactions to miscarriage

2 replies

Laney17 · 28/05/2009 15:35


I started having a miscarriage on Monday night, had it confirmed at the hospital on Tuesday morning. I?m devastated. I was 14 weeks but they baby stopped developing at 11 weeks. I was due to have my first scan next week.

I?m not in a relationship with the babies father but were really close and he?s been fantastic through the pregnancy. When I went to the hospital on Tuesday, I couldn?t get in contact with the father, so by the time I got hold of him I was at home. I opted for a natural miscarriage as I didn?t was a D&C

Babys father was there for me all day on Tuesday and he was so supportive. That evening, after a few drinks, its finally hit him about the baby and he cried, he was inconsolable an we cried together an held each other.

Then in the middle of the night, he went crazy, started shouting and saying I?d lied about the pregnancy, He was shouting an just kept saying I?d lied. I didn?t know how to react but eventually he cried again and hugged me.

The next day, he acted like nothing had happened. He didn?t talk about the baby or our loss, I tried to hug but there was just nothing. I was having bad cramps and all he could say was ?There?s nothing I can do?

He dropped me home later that morning, an I?ve heard nothing from him since then. No calls or txt. Today I?m having really bad cramps and theres a lot of blood and tissue. I feel like I just really need him with me. But I don?t even know what I?d say to him.

Can anyone give me any advice or anything

Thank you

OP posts:
sue10 · 28/05/2009 22:30

I am so sorry for you loss and send you a heartfelt hug. I dont know what to say or suggest about the father other than to call him and be honet about how you really need his support to help you get through this very difficult time. It will get easier.

Sols1 · 31/05/2009 08:53

Very sorry for your loss. As a dad that has been there myself my heart goes out to you. I have just posted a link to a site for dads might help you with your partners reaction. If you can just get him to read it.
I was never angry at my wife it was not her fault. I was however so angry I think because I was so powerless to do anything about. Something so important and I could not prevent nor could I really help my wife.
Call me stupid but as a guy I had always sworn to look after her and at her darkest time could do nothing.
I wish you well. I should also add despite the memories I have just brought back to myself I now have two great little boys. There is always hope and in time I am sure you will get through this difficult time.
Good luck.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.