Miscarriage at 8 weeks..........

[hoops997]

I have just came back from the hospital after finding out that my baby died at 6 and a half weeks, I feel really heartbroken, just can't help wondering why me????? Ihad no bleeding or syptoms I just knew something was wrong so got myself an early scan, has anyone else just known something was wrong?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my DS at 8 weeks about a year ago, and I, too, wondered "Why me??" Have you asked the doctor if they can give you any clues? Even if they can't, it might help you get some closure.

I know this is a difficult time... please keep talking to all of us here-- I think you'll find it really does help to talk with people who've been through it and know what it's like.

Be kind to yourself.
(((((hugs)))))

They can't really give me any clues, only it was one of those things, it's lifes natural selection.......am feeling sad but more shocked I think.................

I am so sorry to hear this. It is so very sad and shocking. This happened to me too. I did have an idea something was up, not sure what and could not really explain it, I have one child so had only been pregnant once before, I kept saying to DH and my Mum I felt odd. I had the same things said eg: it happens, life selection etc etc, but this does not make it any easier.

Do you have to go to hospital or have they given you the option to just wait? I sometimes think I wish I had gone for an early scan, trusted my instinct, as I had not a very nice experience with heavy bleeding in hospital when I actually miscarried.

Below is a great site with lots of help and support, inc a phone number.

miscarraigeassociation.org.uk

Thinking of you and so sorry.

Yes, I made my desision at the hospital after my scan, am booked in for an ERPC tomorrow, wanted to get rid of it straight away, didn't want to still have a dead bean inside me for any longer, already had it in side for a week and a half, I think that is the sad part......the fact I have been carrying round a dead thing, I know that makes me sound heartless but thats my way of coping with it.

I also work at a crematorium so have already planned and booked the little service..... the hospital was shocked when I asked for the remains after my surgery but when I explained to them what my job was they were fine....so my babies service will be held on Tuesday 26th May 2009, and after I have cremated my little one I will scatter the ashes and maybe plant a flower in the grounds, at least then I can visit it every day at work.

Sorry to go a bit but I feel a little better now, thank you for all your kind words x

Hi hoops997

So sorry to hear what you are going through. I am in a similar situation. I had a missed mc in late Dec (happened over Xmas) and ERPC on new year's eve. Bean was measuring 9+6.

I am now going through the same thing all over again. I have been worried something was wrong from the start, but perhaps that was just because of last time. I got a scan this time at 8 weeks from LMP (I had bad lower back pain but no bleeding) that I really had to beg for. Scan showed a heartbeat but bean was measuring 7 weeks, seemed small to me but sonographer said I could have ovulated late.

Anyway at my 10 (or 11) week scan on Tuesday this week I found out bean had not grown past 7 weeks so must have died shortly after the first scan. I'm a bit numb, I just had an awful feeling all along even though my body was tricking me with symptoms, placenta pumping out hormones etc. Have opted for medical management this time (first pill this afternoon), don't ask why, the ERPC was definitely the best thing for me the first time but I feel I want to avoid surgery if possible, I was worried about potential scarring. I am 35 and have no children. I haven't really cried yet but I know the next few weeks will be a hormonal rollercoaster ride. And I honestly don't feel like TTC for a while now.

Like you and others I thought 'why me?' especially as this is the 2nd time but having been a lurker on the mc boards since Dec I can see there are many more out there with just bad luck multiple times. And those who have had joy after multiple mcs. MN is a brilliant place to be for us and you will get lots of support here. I wish you all the best with your recovery x

Thanks for that drifter, well i am now home from the hospital and thought I would be feeling awful but actually feel a huge sense of relief that I can now move on............am really sorry for your losses and I hope that you do grieve for your little one, I know the little service I have planned to going to give me some closure and that will be my chance to say goodbye, I picked up the little casket today on my way home from the hospital, I think my family are a tiny bit shocked that I am being coldhearted about the whole thing but after my Mother speaking to the hospital chaplin, he explained to her that what I was doing is the last I can do for my baby......he said that it is an act of love and if i am happy with doing that then there are no rules to how you grieve and the things you do.......my wqork colleuges have been fantastic and they are even going to plant a tree in the Baby Scattering area in the Crematorium grounds......everyone has been great, I just hope that everyone else who have suffered a loss gets the same kind of treatment.........please look after yourself and I think I will be on these boards for a while and you are absolutely right about suppport, it's great to know that complete strangers are showing their concern and sending virtual hugs, which is exactly what I'm sending to you xx