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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Sister lost baby at 20 weeks - what now?

10 replies

outandabout · 08/05/2009 21:45


My sister was due to have her 20 week scan today but yesterday woke with spotting so went to hospital for scan and they told her there was no heart beat. Because she had not eaten they offered her d&c straight away so she had it done.

I feel so so bad for her - life can be so cruel!


Everything was fine at her 12 week scan, nothing picked up, her last midwife app was fine too.

Has this happened to anyone, do you know what factors could have contributed towards it and have you gone onto conceive and give birth after?

She did say at her last smear there were abnormal cells which turned out to be harmless. Her pregnancy was not planned but was delighted when she found out. The nurse said that they rec you have abonormal cells removed if trying to conceive.

I just feel so sorry for her and the next few months are going to be so painful for her especially when she see's new borns or pregnant people. She has a lovely bump that was quite big. It seems so unfair!

I know she needs time to mourn and let her body and mind come to terms with losing this little person we never got to know. But part of me thinks that if she fell pregnant before she was due to give birth that it would help her cope. That date is going to be so hard for her.

Does this mean she has a higher chance of it happening again?

Thank you

OP posts:
francagoestohollywood · 08/05/2009 21:56

So sorry for your sister's terrible loss, outandabout .

I'm afraid I don't have answers to your question, but someone might be more helpful.

Disenchanted3 · 08/05/2009 21:58

im so so sorry x

cornsilk · 08/05/2009 21:59

How terrible.

thatsnotmymonster · 08/05/2009 22:01

so sorry too.

No answers here either but I know that many people who lose babies before term go on to concieve and give birth to healthy babies.

As for whether she may cope better if she feel pg again quickly- I don't know. I s'pose it's quite an individual thing but I'm sure there are people here who will have, unfortunately, experienced similar so will be able to offer their help and support.

inzidoodle · 08/05/2009 22:02

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outandabout · 08/05/2009 22:02

I thought it would be nice when the next time I speak to her I can tell her I've been on here and some people had a similar experience but went on to give birth to a healthy baby.

OP posts:
outandabout · 08/05/2009 22:08

thank you! i will tell her about sands.

inzidoodle - so sorry to hear what you went through but delighted you have a little girl now - great age too!

that is so scary to think it can just happen. both times i've been pregnant I totally relaxed after 12 week scans. Next time will be different.

to think last night I was hoping to do test this morning to see if I myself am pregnant. I am so glad now that I'm not. I would have felt so so bad!

I wish i had something to say to her to make her feel better

OP posts:
Denny185 · 08/05/2009 22:13

So sorry for your sisters loss.

I have no personal experience of MC this far on but a friend lost her baby in very similar circumstances and for her she decided the best way she could cope was to TTC as quickly as possible. 6 weeks after the delivery of her LO she was pregnant again and she went to term with a v healthy little boy.

I hope all works out well for your sister.

inzidoodle · 08/05/2009 22:15

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesprouts · 08/05/2009 22:16
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