Lost my baby boy one year ago today.
Feeling really guilty today, for losing him and for still being such a mess.
Went to the beach and sprinkled rose petals on the ocean... it helped a little, I think.
Had a really miserable, but somewhat helpful, conversation with my ex about my need to grieve--he acknowledges now that I need to grieve and it's okay. Feeling slightly less alone now.
Time for a big glass of wine, a bath, and bed.