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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

If I hadn't m/c my baby would be born next week - does it get easier after the due date?

11 replies

mrsalexanderarmstrong · 02/05/2009 14:11

Hi there, i had a m/c in October, the baby would be due next week. I have found that I am thinking about it a lot in the run up to the due date. I guess I just wanted to hear from other women who had been through this before, does it get easier once that date has passed? Does it fade? I'm not really distraught but it is praying on my mind and I do feel quite sad. Do these feelings fade?

Dh doesn't remember the date - I'm not cross about that, it's just a men/women thing. Any thoughts?

OP posts:
MerlinsBeard · 02/05/2009 14:30

So sorry to hear your news.

Different people feel differently about their 'dates'. i still struggle 3 years on but then i didn't deal with it at all around the time.

DH has forgotten but i mark the due date every year with fresh flowers and i sow forget me not seed every year on the date that i lost my LO. Just my way of saying i will never forget.

FabulousBakerGirl · 02/05/2009 14:36

On the date my baby was due I was really low all day and couldn't think why. I then saw the calendar.

That baby would have just turned 4 and it does get a bit easier but for me I am sure there will always be the sad memory there.

{{{hugs}}} to you both.

mrsalexanderarmstrong · 02/05/2009 14:37

Thanks mumofmonsters, I like the idea of sowing seed on a significant date. I just don't want to feel that my lo was totally forgotten. I don't feel cross with dh or other friends/family as - god knows I never remember anyone elses anniversaries, but no one but me remembers that this is the time our baby would be due.

I think I'll go out on the day and do something special. Lordy knows what? But at least something special - I'll let dh know too, just in case he wants to think about it too.

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mrsalexanderarmstrong · 02/05/2009 14:40

Sorry Fabulousbakergirl (great name btw) x post. Thanks for your kind thoughts. Glad to know it gets easier. I'm sure the sadness does remain. I try not to dwell on it, gotta get on after all, but there is definate sadness. My poor lil' one.

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FabulousBakerGirl · 02/05/2009 14:43

My son I had after has definitely helped but that is bitter sweet as I also m/c his twin so I long so much for his sibling too as I know how amazing he is.

YanknCock · 02/05/2009 22:00

mrsalexander, I was just about to write a near identical post to you.

I miscarried in September, EDD should have been May 3rd. I feel like I should 'do something' tomorrow, but unsure as to what.

DH admitted today he's sort of 'over' it. He's having a hard time with the fact that I am still sad. I got pregnant again fairly quickly (23.5 weeks now), but it doesn't replace the first one. It was really hard to enjoy being pregnant while still grieving, all the time trying not to get too attached in case it happened again. Better now, but like you, I've felt quite sad in the run up to tomorrow.

DH is also not a 'date' person. . .I'm not sure he'd know the date I miscarried, but it's stuck in my brain forever.

deanychip · 02/05/2009 22:04

It does get easier yes.
I dont do anything to mark the due dates (i have had 4 mcs) but what does bring it screaming to me is when i look at other people who were pregnant at the sme time as me, and their children are hitting milestones, having birthday parties etc.

Things overtake and the memory fades. Will never forget, but i ofen have a little weep.....and chocoalte whaich helps me allot.

giraffesCantRunA10k · 02/05/2009 22:05

Hiya sorry to hear this. I hugely suffer every year on my dates. So I cant really offer any advice, just each day at a time I guess xx

neolara · 03/05/2009 18:42

I think it gets easier.

I've had four mc and each year around the due dates I remember what might have been, but that raw sadness has faded.

kittywise · 03/05/2009 19:23

Yes it gets easier, the first time i was distraught, by the 6th I was far more relaxed about things

mrsalexanderarmstrong · 04/05/2009 23:07

Blimey Kitty, do you mean you've had 6 m/c's? You poor girl, how absolutely bloody awful for you .

Thank you, ladies, for your thoughts. I'll go away and consider what might have been. I think I'll mark the due date by doing something great with my dds. Gotta focus on the here and now I guess. x

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