Heartbroken - 12 week scan, sac but no baby... missed miscarriage, still feel pregnant...

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

am so sad. know i am lucky to have my beautiful ds (15 mo) but this still hurts so much.

have to go to early pg unit for scan to confirm tomorrow, am hoping for a miracle but PLEASE don't tell me about missed mc's that turned out not to be so, I can't bear to get my hopes up.

I know it's common and I'm not alone but I feel it. thought I was gonna see my baby for first time and instead just a black hole...

and the scan was on dp's birthday how stupid i was to arrange that

[cupcakefairy]

I'm so so sorry I had a missed m/c 2 and a half weeks ago, baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. It really is heart-breaking and there's nothing anybody can say to make it better but just know all the ladies on this forum are so lovely and it really has helped me knowing I'm not alone in this.
I really hope tomorrow goes ok for you, whatever the outcome...I'm sure it will be an emotional day for you.

Come join us over on Emmsys Angels

[stickylittlefingers]

So sorry - nothing I could say would help, but sending all good wishes I can.xx

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

thanks guys... cupcake weirdly i really don't know if i can join the thread, from what i was told i may never have actually had a baby, only half the pg worked when the egg divided and that was the sac part...

so the loss i have is something that never actually existed, tho i have been really well and truly pg. and according to my stupid body, i still am. but thanks for the invite...

quick question - is d & c done under general anaesthetic? or local?

[cupcakefairy]

I haven't had a d&c but I believe they are under GA.

I understand that you feel a bit strange about the fact there may never have been a 'baby' so to speak...but that absolutely does not mean you're not grieving. You thought you were going to have a baby, just like we all did and you need support. There are no bouncers who won't let you in on Emmsy's thread

Anyway, it is my belief that at the moment of conception, that is a new life... whether it develops past a few cells or not, it makes no difference. You have suffered a loss and I'm just so sorry. Getting to 12 weeks is the 'milestone' we were all waiting for and then to be told that must have been horrible

I would have been 12 weeks Monday just gone so would also have had a November baby; there are lots of us in the same situation so just know you are v welcome to join us

[ShowOfHands]

I'm so terribly sorry.

You are not grieving for the conception and the 12 weeks alone. You are grieving for the baby you planned and imagined, their whole life. You must allow yourself to feel the way you do in whatever way it comes.

I am truly sorry.

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Thanks...crikey,more tears! Ds giving me lots of cuddles-clever little boy.he's a bloody good reason to keep going,as is my lovely dp.so in some ways am very lucky...

just so sad!

thanks for the support tho xx

[deanychip]

Good luck with it all, i am going through the same thing at the moment. im not as far along as you, 9 weeks, but have known about no baby for about 3 weeks.
I am having a medically managed miscarriage, had tabs today, having pesseries on friday,
that will be it, all over and done with by friday night.

feel so sad for you, i really do.
hugs xx

[deanychip]

Good luck with it all, i am going through the same thing at the moment. im not as far along as you, 9 weeks, but have known about no baby for about 3 weeks.
I am having a medically managed miscarriage, had tabs today, having pesseries on friday,
that will be it, all over and done with by friday night.

feel so sad for you, i really do.
hugs xx

[SuziDee]

I am so very very sorry, I had the same experience back in January and DS's totally oblivious cuddles helped me through

You have lost a baby you had no reason to think otherwise so allow yourself to grieve for the child you have probably been planning the life of for the past 8 weeks.

I had a D & C one week after finding out and it was ok, not the best experience of my life but painless and relatively easy was done under GA.

I really hope you can find some comfort on these boards x

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Am so sorry deaniechip and suzi.know there is nothing I can say. To be honest am so raw and fucked up with my own situation I can't see beyond it,am not normally so self-obsessed am usually good at looking after others.sorry wish I could do a better job of being there for you (deanie have read one of your other threads and know how much you've been thru xx)

Am drinking quite a bit of wine,feels so weird as everything telling me am pg so shouldn't drink...

Hope my lovely ds has a good night as being up in the early hours not helping my brain... hopefully after 2nd scan I can get on with D&c and get all this behind me...

Had borderline pnd after ds born(em cs) doc seems to think I'm gonna be hit hard when the hormones go.

Sorry to vent am trying to spare dp

Am sad scared and sort of numb.apologies again for being so self-indulgent know I am luckier than many...maybe I should blame the wine

xx

[cupcakefairy]

Don't apologise at all! We all have our 'me me me' moments on here and we all need them; it's what this place is for we all understand.

Glad your ds is being sweet and giving cuddles how is your dp doing?

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Thanks cupcake.dp is my rock,I know this has hit me harder but it's not easy for him either.

Booked in for erpc tomorrow,was strongly advised it's best option due to length of pg,no bleeding,and of course ds.

Am bit scared just want it all over really.mum n dad coming at weekend am so glad.

I may try and venture on emmsy's thread I want to be a bit less self obsessed before I do that tho!

Thanks for understanding xx

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Thanks cupcake.dp is my rock,I know this has hit me harder but it's not easy for him either.

Booked in for erpc tomorrow,was strongly advised it's best option due to length of pg,no bleeding,and of course ds.

Am bit scared just want it all over really.mum n dad coming at weekend am so glad.

I may try and venture on emmsy's thread I want to be a bit less self obsessed before I do that tho!

Thanks for understanding xx

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Darn it I have wobbly fingers-posted twice!

[cupcakefairy]

Aw, I'm so glad your dp is being supportive...that really makes the world of difference. Men seem to deal with this so differently though. My dh was surprised I was still crying on and off last week, 2 weeks after our mc. He is very logical about it and just looks to the future...but I know it has caused him pain too.

My parents came to take us out for dinner a few days after our mc and that was so lovely...they were really supportive too as this would have been their first grandchild so think they were a bit taken aback by it all too. Hope you manage to enjoy your time with your parents

[nolongerchunkybutstillapudding]

Hey cupcake thanks for the sweet message.i really feel for you,my ds is mum n dad's first grandchild and I hope that you and your patents get to have that lovely milestone really soon.

I had a kind and encouraging message in my head but the erpc seems to have wiped my brain!still.am home now so hope to start on the road to recovery....

Hugs to you xxx

showofhands if u happen to look at this thread again I wanted to thank u for your beautiful message,it really helped,I even quoted it to dp....

Sorry for appalling typing xxx