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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

How long to recover physically?

12 replies

cupofteaplease · 14/04/2009 12:51

I have just had a scan this morning which confirmed I have had my second mc. This time, the baby died up to 2 wees ago ao I still feel pregnant- very cruel.

I have to go to the hospital tomorrow to discuss the options. No idea what this may entail, but I'm assuming wait or have some sort of suction

Anyway, I am a trainee teacher, on holiday until Friday. I'm due back at uni and placment on Monday- will I be ready? Emotionally, no I will not be ready, I know this from having a mc before. But physically, will I be ready by Monday? How long do these procedures take? I have an assignemt due in on Tuesday and my head feels like cotton wool.

Wish I could bury my head and make my bloody course go away and then concentrate on the baby I have lost. It all feels like too much today

OP posts:

CMOTdibbler · 14/04/2009 13:00

I'm so sorry for your loss.

They will offer you medical management (you take tablets and mc naturally. This can take a couple of weeks and you may still need an ERPC), waiting, or an ERPC.

I've had two ERPCs - both times I had them the day after my mc was diagnosed, and physicially I was fine the day after. Bleeding after was light, no real pain. I just wanted to get the whole physical side over and done with.

I needed to bury myself in my work, so went back quickly as it helped me to cope.

Jelliebaby · 14/04/2009 13:03

Sorry to hear of your sad loss. I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks, the baby had died at 7 weeks and i was asked how I wanted to get rid of what was left. You can either wait for it to naturally come out(could take weeks) medical management - which is a course of tablets that you take to help it all come out or a D&C which is a small op where they vacum it out.

I took the medical management and don't recomend it for a fast recovery, I ended up having 6 weeks off work and had to have a D&C in the end anyway as not all of it had come out.

The D&C was fine and I felt better as soon as it was over. I was only in hospital for 1 day.

Hope it all goes ok for you what ever you decide to do.

Katelyn · 14/04/2009 13:05

I had a D and C on a Friday and went back to work on Monday. It's only really heavy bleeding in terms of physical - perhaps some cramping as your body re-adjusts.

Like you say, emotionally it obviously takes different periods of time for different people.

I was in Hospital for 1 full day, morning to evening....only really for monitoring as the procedure took about 40 minutes plus the time it takes to come round from the aneasthesic.

So sorry for your loss x

EldonAve · 14/04/2009 13:24

Sorry to hear of your loss

Did you mc naturally the first time?

Options are wait for it to happen naturally, take tablets/pessaries to induce mc (not all hosps offer this) or ERPC op

The op is day surgery but you may have to wait a few days depending on how busy they are. Recovery depends, I needed to rest at home the day after mostly due to the anaesthetic

monkeybumsmum · 14/04/2009 17:24

Oh cupofteaplease So sorry to hear your awful news, you poor thing.

Is someone going with you tomorrow? It's a horrible thing to have to go through, and so surreal, especially going through it a second time.

Wrt your placement/uni and going back next week, why don't you wait and see what they have to say tomorrow. I'm not sure how it works in the UK, and whether they would do any procedure straightaway or not, but I know that where I am (Belgium) I had to wait a few days for the first ERPC, and then a whole week for the second.

Surely you'd be able to get an extension for your assignment. If you have to do it in these circumstances then it's not going to be your best work anyway.

If you do have an ERPC in the next few days then physically, from my experience, yes you would be able to go back on Monday. As you say, emotionally it is a whole other matter . My first ERPC was very straightforward and no pain afterwards. With the second I had cramps afterwards as I was further along, but nothing that didn't go away completely with painkillers. I spent the rest of each day in bed sleeping, was tired the day after and then I suppose was 'okay'.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow. Stay strong x

Original poster

cupofteaplease · 14/04/2009 19:32

Thank you for the responses.

In answer to the questions- yes, my fist mc was natural, I knew I was mcing because of all the blood. The EPU confirmed this with follow up scan and bloods.
My dh has taken the day off from work tomorrow for which I am very grateful.

I am in quite a bit of pain today- feel more sick than ever and have stabbing pains in my tummy (but behind my naval area, rather than down below in the uterus, if that makes sense?) Hope it settles later so I can sleep.

Dh is being very relaxed about the whole thing- he isn't talking about it really. However, we both had a good laugh this evening as our 2 funny dds were being their usual silly selves. We consoled ourselves that we are beyond fortunate to have 2 beautiful, healthy children already. However, deep down, I really feel sad about our child that wasn't to be.

I really hope that dh agrees to TTC again, sooner rather than later, but as this pg was surprise, I'm not sure he will want us to try again. That makes the frustration even more intense.

I told the girls' childminder earlier so she ccan have the girls for me tomorrow. She was lovely and told me about her own MC which was comforting. However, already today from just her and the sonographer I have heard- well you're still young, it's really very common, there's a reason for it- the baby probably would have been ill, it's nature's way. Obviously I realise people are only trying to be kind

OP posts:

SparklyPseudonym · 14/04/2009 19:42

Cupofteaplease - I'm so sorry for your loss. I was in a similar situation with teacher training and m.c.
In terms of managing the mc, I was offered a D&C (and booked in for one a week later!!), a managed miscarriage or a natural miscarriage. I started to bleed heavily a few days before D&C date and miscarried naturally.
With regards to uni - forget about it for now. You'll be entited to an extension and mitigating circumstances for your assignment and you can make up your placement days (they will provide a cover letter if needed)...the most important thing is taking time to recover physically and emotionally.
Look after yourself. Will be thinking of you.

Jacanne · 14/04/2009 20:50

I'm so sorry for your loss cupoftea - I know how you are feeling as I miscarried 2 nights ago. I have had the surgical option for an earlier miscarriage and the physical recovery was quite quick - I had a week off work but mostly because I couldn't face anyone. This time I opted for a medically managed one and I still feel pretty shocking - maybe my fault because I went out with the kids today because I was sick of being indoors and I think I did too much. I was lucky in that my m/c began at home after the first tablet so I didn't have to go into hospital for the pessaries. I actually think, although it was quite demanding physically, that this was the best option for my emotional well-being - I felt more in control and that I had seen it through - a bit corny but I think I got more of a sense of closure doing it this way. I know some women find the medical option harder - please think of your emotional well-being at the moment and sod college - they will understand. I am a teacher, and was one when I had my first m/c - going back after a week was really hard - teaching practices are enough of a nightmare when you feel fine.

I get really cross with the "it was for the best" comments. My own mother said to me today "Well it must be a relief not to be worry all the time that the worst will happen - because it already has". It's a good job I know she means well.

cyanarasamba · 15/04/2009 10:36

Cupoftea - I saw you on the November thread which I was following but hadn't dared to join. I am so sorry for your loss. It is very sad and must be very raw at the moment.

I found out yesterday that my baby hadn't developed beyond about 6 weeks, when I should be 10 weeks. I have one DS and had a missed miscarriage before having him.

If you have an ERPC in the next day or so I would have thought you would be physically recovered enought to go in on Monday. Barring NHS delays you should be home within the day having got over the general. If it helps I remember being almost glad to get back to work, then grieving quite a lot at weekends (bit hard on DH though).

I hope you are treated sensitively today and that you start to get your head round things soon.x.

Neeko · 15/04/2009 16:01

Cupoftea Hope you're ok. I had the ERPC 41/2 wks ago after a mmcat 12wks (baby died at 9+1). Physically I could have managed work the next day but didn't feel ready emotionally. I'm a teacher too and when I did go back I found it a welcome distraction. I think you'll be supported by college whichever route you choose. Be kind to yourself.

Original poster

cupofteaplease · 16/04/2009 17:52

Thanks for all the advice. Sorry to hear of your loss cyanarasamba I hope you are doing ok. Will you be having the ERPC? If so, best wishes.

OP posts:

cyanarasamba · 16/04/2009 19:48

Hi Cupoftea, I will have another scan on Tuesday to confirm that the baby is not growing - basically they won't take my word for my dates and say that it could be just too early to see a heartbeat if I am wrong. But I know I should be at least 10 weeks now.

I will go for the ERPC as soon as I can though, I know there is no hope really.

I did see your other thread which gave me a bit of a shock though! I hope you get some certainty soon, it must be very hard to know what to think at the moment.

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