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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

I LOST MY BABY YESTERDAY I WAS 17 WEEKS

16 replies

voiice · 29/03/2009 06:31

WHY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND HAS ANYONE BEEN THRU THIS?

OP posts:
voiice · 29/03/2009 06:33

CAN ANY ONE EXPLAIN WHY THIS HAPPENED OUT OF NO WHERE

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 29/03/2009 07:23

I haven't but I'm so sorry for your loss, and I can't imagine what you are going through

StealthPolarBear · 29/03/2009 07:24

More people should be on soon, hopefully there will be someone with some more useful advice.
What have the professionals said to you about why this happened? at 17 weeks do they carry out an investigation?

escape · 29/03/2009 07:32

It happened to me out of nowhere too. there was no explanation or pain.

I 2ent on to have two healthy pregnancies afterwards..

I am here if you want to chat about it...

HappyBump · 29/03/2009 08:35

You poor thing. My thoughts are with you while you are going through this. It is such a shock to lose your baby.
Take care

MargaretMountford · 29/03/2009 08:39
  • no experience but send you huge sympathies- hang on here as there'll be others along
brimfull · 29/03/2009 08:40

God how awful- so sorry.

StealthPolarBear · 29/03/2009 10:53

bump

jellybeans · 29/03/2009 11:16

Hi I am so sorry I had 4 losses inc a m/c at 20 weeks, was awful. We had full tests on me and baby DD. It was very out the blue. Turned out I had weak cervix and antibodies which cause m/c. With my next preg I had daily injections and a cervical stitch, I got to term that time. Take care.

InMemoryOf · 29/03/2009 11:20

i am so sorry to hear your news

where about (you dont have to say if you dont want to) in the country are you?

can you get some help/support from the miscarriage association or sands?

ephrinedaily · 29/03/2009 15:45

I lost my baby this january at 17 weeks too. In about 50 % of cases, doctors may be able to find an explanation. I consented to post-mortem and it looks like there may be something wrong with my blood which can be fixed. Please have a look at the miscarriage association website which has a section on late miscarriage; and the sands website which also deals with late miscarriage. Both are very helpful and if you have only just lost the baby, there are pages on how to mark the loss e.g. getting hands and footprints fromt he hospital, memorial services etc.

I am so sorry you have also been through this awful time. Please make sure you ask the doctors to investigate why this has happened and if possible you should be referred to a women's health counsellor / bereavement midwife.

SpringBlossom · 29/03/2009 19:39

Dear Voiice, so sorry to hear about your miscarriage... I lost my baby at nineteen weeks in Oct and it's a cruel cruel thing that seems unbearable at times. I would echo earlier recommendations about the Sands website; in the early days of my loss it was this site that just about kept me going. It also offers the opportunity to meet up with women in real life which I did and found really helpful.

Why? I don't know the answer to that question. I think in some ways it's just random bad luck... It helps me to try and see it that way rather than something with a force behind it... e.g if I was better person/if I had done something differently it would have had a different outcome. I know why I lost my baby (I had an extremely large fibroid that caused a placental abruption) but it hasn't really made any diffrence to the overarching philosophical question of 'Why me?' Why not me I guess.

I am so sorry for the agony you are going through right now though voiice. Eventually the pain lifts a bit. It take a lot of time and I don't think it ever goes away completely. I cried again today. But that's very different from how I was in October, November and December when I cried ALL the time...

XXXX

wintersnowdrops · 30/03/2009 20:11

Voiice, my heart goes out to you. The same happened to me in January, 17weeks, all fine but just couldn't find a heartbeat at my routine midwife appt.

Long post....apologies

10 weeks on i'm still searching for answers and am up to reason 101 why it could have happened. Even though it is so so so hard remember nothing you did caused this to happen. It took me 3 counselling sessions to get my head around that, although i still have totally irrational days where i blame myself.....easier to cope with i guess.

We're still awaiting our post mortem results but GP and counsellor have prepared us that they may well find no cause. I always took things for granted and it has made me so aware just how amazing it is that we ever even get pregnant, yet alone carry a baby to term.

Take time, don't rush back to work. These things happen but you just never think it'll happen to you. Like others have said SANDS is good and i was never ever one for counselling but the hosp offered it to me and basically i decided it couldn't make me feel worse. I found it draining and essentially just blubbed through the sessions but looking back it's definitely helped. Just an hour where i don't have to be brave

I found it really hard everyone i told, then said they knew someone who'd had a miscarriage. this didn't help as once you're past that magical 13 weeks, 2nd trimester loss just seems so different to me.

Take care
x

SpringBlossom · 31/03/2009 11:07

I agree, 2nd trimester loss seems of a different scale to me too. That's not to underestimate how awful it is to go through m/c under 12 weeks but at seventeen/nineteen weeks a) you are really starting to think it's all going to be ok b) you have to go through the awfulness that is essentially giving birth to a baby that's not alive. It's so shocking. I still feel shocked that this has happened to me now and amazed that I don't have my baby with me.

AitchTwoOh · 31/03/2009 11:09

oh sweetheart, how terrible for you. i'm so sorry.

bringonthetrumpets · 31/03/2009 11:13

i am so sorry you've had to go through this. i really hope they can give you some answers so that moving on can get a bit easier. xx

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