Please tell me about your medically managed m/c

[cupcakefairy]

Hi girls,
Really sad to be on this area of MN, but glad there are other people who know how I feel, big hugs to you all.

DH and I were told Thurs our baby has died at 8 weeks. We have chosen the medically managed option on the advice of a midwife friend. I go in on Tues for the first stage, then Thursday for the second.

I have absolutely no idea what to expect. I have read all sorts of different things. Between the two pills did you start bleeding or does nothing happen until the pessaries? I know all areas are different but did you have your own room at the hospital? Did you spend a night there? Were you offered strong pain relief...?
Please tell me what you can as I am terrified, this is my first pregnancy. I'm not worried about TMI, but no real scare stories please!

I am so sorry
I lost my first pgcy at 9 weeks but I miscarried naturally.
All I can tell you is you'll probably get bad PMT type symptons. I got really bad cramps as I miscarried, took paracetamol and codeine to help with the pain.
You'll probably recommended to have another scan in a couple of weeks to check the m/c was complete.
I'm hoping someone else who took the medical management option will come along with their experience.
Please allow yourself time to grieve, I was utterly devastated when I m/c so I know how painful it is especially when it involves a much wanted baby Your dp will be grieving too. Take comfort from each other.
On a more positive note, I conceived again 2 months later and now have a beautiful little boy. I hope this happens to you too

eI am so sorry for your loss.

I have had two miscarriages now. The first six years ago was spontanious and happened 2 day before my days before my dating scan at 11+3.

My more recent miscarriage (exactly six years later)was a mmc when at the dating scan at 13+ 5 no heartbeat was found and the baby had died at 11 weeks. I chose to take the medical management and returned the following day for the first part. By this point I was starting to spot the tiniest ammount of blood. I was told to come back two days later for the second part. I was advised at the time there may be some bleeding but if I were to pass large clots to phone the ward for further advice as I may need to go in earlier. I went to bed that night with mild stomach cramps for which I did not take paracetamol. Unfortunatly, things progress rapidly and at 2am I started to pass large clots. This continued for several hours and then tailed off to normal period type loss which reduced to spotting after a few days. Yes it was horrible but my situation was made worse by the fact my dp was not at the scan and I had to go through this on my own in the middle of the night.

It will not be the same for you as your dh is there.

I was advised by the hospital to still come in on the Friday as intended. I needed no futher treatment but was scanned and examined to make sure everything was ok physically.
I was treatd well and with compassion by all the staff I encountered (R D and E at Exter by the way).
As far as I know, the the first tablet Blocks the progesterone, after which you may or may not experience bleeding it just depends. I think in my case that I was about to miscarry naturally due to the way things turned out. The pesseries soften the cervix to allw the miscarriage. As regards pain relief. I have managed with paracetamol both times, but everybody is different. Have what you need and don't allow your self to be fobbed off.

With regards to acomadation, my first mc was in hospital and I was on a small gynae ward. My second was at home but managed by a gyae ward.

I really do hope my information has helped and not scared you. Afterwards, when you're ready come to a little warm friendly cave with lots of chocolate on Emmsy's angle part 4. Also the Misscarriage Association are very good too. Lots of hugs.

Again on a more positive note I now have two beautiful daughters, There is hope out there though it might not fell like it now.

Thanks so much, no that hasn't scared me..it's just good to hear that other people have come through this, and that you have 2 dds now. My DH and I want a family so much, I really hope and pray we will have one.

Thanks

Hi cup cake sorry to hear your miscarriage. I have had the medical management as well after a missed miscarriage and just wanted to give you some extra information just in case. I took the tablets at the hospital and then went home and started bleeding the following day. By the time I went into hospital for the second part I was bleeding really heavily and I thought there was probably no need for me to go in but they said I still should so they could monitor me and check everything was passed. I was there all day and essentially in a room on my own with nurses checking from time to time. I didnt mind this as there was nothing for them to do but in the end I had to go home with nothing passed and it didnt happen for another 4 days. I'm not sure if they have warned you that sometimes it doesnt work and for me it did eventually but not when I was expecting it. I would also warn you to carry spare clothes as it was so heavy I needed to change. On the plus side I didnt have any pain and despite 4 miscarriages I have three sons so again, there is hope even if it sometimes feels like there's not. Good luck.

Sorry to hear your going through this

I had a mmc at 9 weeks (found out from early scan after some bleeding) last year and it was my first pregnancy as well.

I also had the medical management - I had the initial tablet and then had to go to hospital the next day for the pessaries. I was in from 9 am and was in a fair amount of pain from lunchtime onwards for which i had painkillers. At 4pm nothing had happened apart from some bleeding and they were worried about it. About 5.30pm I miscarried and it was worse than a period - I found it a bit traumatic I'm sorry to say - I wished I'd spoken to the Miscarriage Assocation before going through it as they are very good at speaking to people about it.

I was in a room on my own and the nurses were very nice to me - Barnsley General

Thanks so much for sharing that I had the procedure on Thursday and although some of it was better than I was expecting (we did have our own room and bathroom thank goodness! And the bleeding wasn't as heavy as I had been expecting...) the rest was pretty horrific. I was absolutely writhing in pain, throwing up, yuk it was horrible. They gave me painkillers in form of suppositories first (hmm, I feel like I was prodded in every cavity of my body!) they worked for a bit but then got really strong again so they gave me a pethidine injection which didn't completely get rid of the pain but eased it massively... The nurses weren't very sympathetic though; I think they thought I was being a bit dramatic (I really wasn't, I already get horrendous af pains and this was so much worse)

Anyway...it's over now. I think if it ever happened to me again (please God no) I'd opt for the surgery. This was just so drawn out and painful

Can I just ask whether it was the emotional side of things that made you choose medical rather than surgical?

I always say that my personal preference would be for surgical after experiencing both but there were positives and negatives for each. However, if you have not experienced labour then I would definitely say prepare yourself for what could be significant pain.

I'm truly sorry you are going through this as there is no way of dealing with the emotional and physical pain that could be considered easy. You will cope whatever happens but it is tough in every sense and preparing yourself practically is probably as much as you can do to ease the burden on yourselves as a couple.

There is a bit of variation as to how the treatment works for different individuals. I didn't experience any symptoms until the second stage of treatment and, compared with labour of a live baby, the pain was far less for me. Bleeding was minimal but I retained the placenta and experienced complications after discharge. Emotionally, seeing my baby was very upsetting but very helpful and I have photos even though she (I don't know the sex but she was a 'she' to me) was only 12-14 weeks developmentally. I ahd none of that with the surgical option but it was far less draining.

I always leant towards the medical option and the EPU even said they don't recommend the surgery..

To be honest, what really swayed me to choose it was the opinion of a very good friend of my Mum's who is a midwife - she said the surgery might mean I n't have a 'competent cervix' for my next pregnancy which freaked me out. As I don't have any children yet I didn't want to do anything to compromise my chances.

Oh I see. It isn't my place to try and dissuade you at all but there is substantial myth and controversy over the surgical/medical debate.

I'm sure you are happy with your choice but please prepare yourself for the significant emotional impact of the medical option.

I've had vacuum aspiration several times due to retained placenta, missed miscarrige. My cervix is absolutely okay despite this.

It's ok, I've already had the medical management, it was last Thursday. It was pretty grim but we coped ok with it.

I have to go back for a scan in 3 weeks so I really hope I won't need surgery on top of it thanks for your advice and sorry for your loss

Oh, cupcakefairy.

I'm glad that part is over at least for you.

It is really good that you are getting a scan. I didn't get this routinely and ended up with Septicaemia due to retained products and then a surgical ERPC anyway!

I do hope this will be the end of the physical side of things so that you can grieve knowing that that is over with at least.

Sorry for you too.