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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

It was this time last year...

19 replies

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 15:25

I miscarried. I think about it alot, knowing I would have a lovely 3mth old baby in my arms and DD would have a brother or sister.

My life is in a good place, just can't help thinking about the baby we never had

OP posts:

Heathcliffscathy · 27/03/2009 15:27

i'm so sorry

sweetkitty · 27/03/2009 15:29

Sorry to hear this

I think it always stays with us even if you do go on to have another baby you always think of the one(s) you lost

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 15:32

Its just getting me down at the moment, esp knowing we have agreed not to try for another one for about 2.5yrs (i've gone back to Uni) as waiting till i'm in my 3rd year to hopefully get pregnant, I'll be 29 nearly 30 then, and preferably would like another one before i'm 30.

Just really getting me down at the moment.

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sweetkitty · 27/03/2009 15:35

I think it's perfectly normal, after my mc I became obsessed with getting pregnant again.

Doesn't stop me thinking that I should have a 1yo by now but then I have to think I wouldn't have had DD3.

It's alright to be down and to grieve.

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 15:39

I would love another one now, DP thinks we should wait till i'm near the end of my studies. I just miss being pregnant, and I know DD would love a brother or sister.

I know its not advisable I get pregnant at the moment anyway, with all my back problems, and my smear test came back with abnormal cells so have to go for coloscopy end of may, and still have to wait for the results afterwards . Its all getting me down at the moment.

OP posts:

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 15:51

Anyway to get past this feeling?

OP posts:

ScorpiowithabigS · 27/03/2009 15:52

Oh, I'm so sorry

It's totally normal to mourn over the anniversaries.

ScorpiowithabigS · 27/03/2009 15:53

Have oyu done something to mark your baby? It helps.

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 15:53

Thank you. I hate this feeling, wish it would go away, but i can't help thinking about our baby.

OP posts:

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 15:54

How do you mean scorpio?

OP posts:

ScorpiowithabigS · 27/03/2009 15:55

I got a necklace to mark my mc; with a stone from the loss month, and a stone for the EDD. I wear it on sad days that i want to extra remember the baby iyswim.

You could do simialr, a tree, flower, ornament?

ScorpiowithabigS · 27/03/2009 15:57

from here

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 15:59

I need crystals for one of the courses i'm doing and needs to be something of significance to me, that I need to have near me at all times.

Thanks thats a good idea.

OP posts:

ScorpiowithabigS · 27/03/2009 16:00

Just know its normal to have really bad days, and days where you hardly remember, iyswim. I mc'd 8 weeks ago now, some days i screech all day, others i can talk about it just fine. There is no 'right' way to grieve.

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 16:07

I found it really hard at first. Esp as my partner at the time wasn't supportive at the time. (My current partner, is my ex's best friend or at least was) DP was more supportive with me, I know the reason as he was in love with me. TBH I knew I loved him too, and the miscarriage brought us together. It was a sad time, but also at the same time i found my soulmate. I think he knows thats whats getting me down and is trying to be as supportive as possible and make me feel good etc. He's treating me to a night at the theatre tonight, as mum agreed to have DD for the weekend so we can be together.

OP posts:

ScorpiowithabigS · 27/03/2009 16:10

The theatre sounds lovely and its really great that you found DP, even though the circumstances were sad, it was all fate and for a reason.

I try to comfort myself with the fact that my precious darling wasnt ready to face the world yet, and i did everything i could, and i will see him (i just picture it as him) again one day

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 27/03/2009 16:27

Scorpio, I believe it was fate that I wasn't meant to have another baby yet.

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sweetkitty · 27/03/2009 16:33

Someone told me that you have a number of souls that will be your babies, sometimes the body osn't strong enough for the soul so the soul goes back in the waiting line ready to be your next baby.

Don't know if it's true or not but nice sentiment all the same.

I light a candle on my EDD and I always feel sad around the time I had the mc but in some ways it means I got to have my beautiful little baby girl, mixed feelings.

Original poster

MuppetsMuggle · 28/03/2009 10:02

Thanks Sweetkitty - thats a good way of putting it.

I had a nice nite at the theatre last night, which kind of took my mind off it.

It also doesn't help that DD isn't behaving when getting dressed in the morning. so thats getting me down. I love her so much and wish i could give her a sibling.

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