Missed miscarriage at 13 week scan

[HappyBump]

Hi
We had our first trimester scan on Sunday (mothers day, ironically enough) and we discovered that the baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks and there was no heartbeat. We had previously had a scan at 8 weeks and the baby had measured 7 weeks so I guess with hindsight that was probably an early indication that things were maybe not right.
I had asked to have a D&C because I really didn't want to wait any longer since the baby had died a few weeks before. Anyway, they weren't able to schedule me until Thursday and in the meantime I have started to miscarry naturally. So they have canceled the D&C and say it is better for me to miscarry naturally.

I had an early miscarriage before in Jan 07 but was able to conceive straight away and we have a healthy 15 month old boy.

This is probably TMI?

This mc seems very different from the last one as it is much later? I am passing very big clots and it is bright bright red. How long does this go on for. I seem to be having mild contractions as well (or maybe heavy crampy period pain?). I am taking ibruprofen and that seems to help a little.
I haven't seen any sign of the baby yet? What will I see? I am scared of what I'll see.

Can anyone give any advice on how long this will last?

Sorry to hear of your loss

I had a mmc at 9 weeks and I had mild contractions. Do you have any stronger painkillers if you need them?

I can't say how long it should take to pass normally as I didn't stop bleeding and had to have a D&C in the end

Did the hospital give you any further advice?

I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby

A miscarriage at 13 weeks (even though the baby died at 9) is going to be different to an early mc as there is much more placental tissue etc to come out.

Also, each mc is different - some women will have a lot of bleeding and pain, some much less.

If you fill a pad with blood in an hour, you need to go to hospital. Equally, if the pain is too muc, don't be afraid to go and get more pain relief.

My only natural mc (others were ERPC) lasted 3 days of heavy bleeding, clotting etc, then a week or so of bleeding.

What you will see - depends. Some pass the sac intact, others don't and it all gets lost in the clots. If you are worried about seeing things, then remember that they tend to come out on the loo, so don't look into the pan before flushing

The hospital should have told you about what to expect, and when to contact them

hi happybump, i'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. i've had several miscarriages at around seven and eight weeks and not really seen much. with two of them i didn't see anything other than normal period like clots at all.
the most i saw with one of the miscarriages was a kind of big clot which i think was the gestational sac. if your baby died at 9 weeks it will really have just been a tiny "blob" (sorry if that sounds in any way insensitive, i'm just trying to think how to describe it visually. obviously it is a lot more than a 'blob' in other ways.. )
what i'm trying to say is that i don't think you'd see anything that looks too upsetting.

HappyBump so sorry for your loss. I had a mmc at 10 weeks recently, the baby had stopped developing weeks before but sac had kept growing and was 7-8wks in size. Like you I had very heavy bright red bleeding with big clots. I also had very intense cramping and had to take codydramol (which they can give you at the hospital or EPU)as regular pain killers weren't enough. A hot water bottle also helped. The really bad part lasted less than 24 hrs for me - however I had it 'medically managed' which is where they give you a pill plus pessaries to bring on the contractions, so that probably speeded things up. Bleeding then lasted over 2 weeks but only because I had retained tissue and had to have ERPC, I should think yours will be over in less than 2 weeks. I passed the sac in tact, it was tiny and whit-ish, not much to see, and some women don't even see it. I thought it would be upsetting but actually seeing it go kind of helped me to accept that the pregnancy was over, if that makes sense. Do you have someone with you?

Hi, sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I have had them at various stages too and twice I have passed the sac. It was about the size of a small egg and the first time I put it in the bin but the second time it came out in the loo but I kept it and buried it in the garden which I am pleased about. There was nothing horrible about it and I know some people have found it helpful to see and to do something with it. Hope you are OK.

Hi
Thanks to all of you who have responded. I think the cramping has mostly finished now, the worst bits were last night and this morning.

I am still worried I will see the baby in the sac ..although I know it won't "look" like a baby per se. I find that although I don't want to see it, weirdly I do as well.

Planting it in the garden isn't really an option for us since 1. my DH would find it too difficult/weird and 2. we live in the desert and i really wouldn't want to bury something here.

I'm fortunate that DH has been a superstar and very supportive. He is finding this loss as hard as me and in many ways it's 'easier' for me because I can be a bit more practical about it because physically it's happening to me - does that make sense?. Of course sadness comes in waves and it is only early days.

The hospital didn't really give me much info about pain management (although the pain has subsided) or what to do next other than to make an appointment next week to check to see if it has all gone, if not then I'll have to have a D&C/EPRC. It is not possible to medically manage here ... it either has to be all natural or have the procedure, pessaries etc aren't available.

Thanks again to all who have responded and shared their experiences with me. It helps.

It sounds like your body is doing its thing and passing it naturally, which is probably for the best. Glad to hear pain has subsided and you have a supportive DH, that is important. Wishing you a good recovery physically and emotionally. It does take time, as you will know from before.

Hi HB, sorry to hear of your loss. Your story mirrors mine, i had a nuchal scan at 12weeks which showed our baby had stopped growing at 9 weeks. I,d had a scan at 7 weeks,but sonographer said baby was measuring a week less. I too was booked in for a d & c (or ERPC as we call it here) the following week, but i started to bleed 5 days before the appointement, the pain and bleeding got pretty bad and to cut a long story short i ended up in A&E,as LO was stuck in my cervix and was removed with forceps-(horrific pain, no pain relief offered). I bled for almost 2 weeks start to finish.

I didnt see LO, didnt really want to as it would have stayed etched in my mind.

Im now 2 months post mc, and am hoping im going to get luck and get my BFP this month.
Just to warn you though, that my AF post mc was much much heavier than usual and much more painful, so be prepared for this.

oh Annie, I'm so sorry. It sounds like the A&E experience was horrific and very painful. I hope that you had someone with you.
Thanks for the warnings about my future AF.
I'm crossing my fingers and toes that you do get your BFP this month.
Take care

okay, I thought the worst was over. Today unexpectedly I passed the baby in the sac. I really thought it was over. I didn't know how to feel or think.

I wasn't sure whether to show it to my DH or to flush it ... in the end I flushed it ... it sound so callous. I was so unsure. It is haunting me, I should have done something more.

I felt like shouting today I gave birth to a baby. But I was unsure anyone would listen.

I am sad.

So sorry HappyBump . I found out yesterday I had a mmc so will need to decide next week what to do.

Sending you hugs.

O course you are

I am listening, and in response to your last post - Snap! I just couldn't bring myself to retreive it either and was wailing down the phone to dp "the baby's in the toilet" at 2.30 am

So sorry for your loss. You are not alone.

Feeling much more upbeat today. I went to the doctor to have a scan and she has ordered some bloodwork to be done to rule out a few things.

It really is a roller coaster of emotions isn't it.

Thanks again everyone.

Glad you are feeling a bit better today. You are completely right about it being a roller-coaster of emotion.

Hope the bloods can tell you something useful.