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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

'in between pregnancies' weird type limbo

16 replies

sifuentes · 28/01/2009 16:22

Does anyone feel like this? I don't feel like I am necessarily back at square one because I was pregnant until fairly recently and then I had the mc and that took a while, then I was anaemic. There have been things to focus on from that pregnancy and that was helpful in a weird way. They were practical and real issues to deal with. Hopefully I will be pregnant again before too long and then I will be able to focus on that, but for the time being I don't quite know where to put myself, other than overlurking on MN.

I'm not sure if it's because we're not TTC again yet so sort of waiting to get to that stage again too, or what.

It's quite disconcerting. I don't feel like I have both feet on the planet. DH certainly notices that I seem distracted. Not sure what (if anything) to do about it. Any thoughts?

OP posts:

kissmummy · 28/01/2009 17:00

i know what you mean...it's a weird time

Joolsiam · 28/01/2009 17:06

Yes, I can definitely identify with that. It was strange leaving antenatal threads and not really feeling like I could fit in anywhere on the TTC boards - thank goodness for Emmsys Angels in here

Once AF returned (after 10 weeks), I have felt much more positive - it was a long time to be in limbo though. It WILL get better.

anniecam38 · 29/01/2009 11:44

I can relate to this though it is still very early days for me having had a MMC which was picked up at my nuchal scan at 12 weeks, last Wednesday, i miscarried on Monday, three days ago. I do want to concieve again as this would have been a much wanted DC2, i am going to wait till my AF arrives then start TTC from then. In the meantime, once i feel better emotionally, im going to do all the things i cant do when i am pregnant eg have a few sunbeds, go on a diet, have my teeth whitened, some outstanding dental treatment done,and a few wild nights out as well.

wasabipeanut · 29/01/2009 11:53

Yeah I'm with you on this one. I am waiting for spotting to finish after mcing Sunday/Monday although bleeding started a week previously.

My pg tests are still positive and I just feel stuck in limbo.

I have hypnotherapy booked next week to hopefully start to relax and not get in too much of a pickle about ttc again. Also, if we do get lucky quickly then I am hoping it will help me to relax and enjoy the pg rather than stressing constantly. Tall order I know.

bluesatinsash · 29/01/2009 13:14

Totally relate sifuentes. I'm in the middle of first AF after ERPC and itching to ttc BUT we are not trying until April as I've had two mc in fours months and feel I tried too soon last time.

I have a whole section at the back of my diary set aside to track by cycle, ovulation etc. in the run up to April, feel I need to do something to keep me busy.

I've also given up caffeine, really kicking ass at the gym and thinking of taking up yoga, like wasabi - trying to get mentally ready so when (please god) I do fall pg I won't be a gibbering wreck but hey who am I kidding?..

Mother nature is a very cunning old bird and I've said before how alarmed I am at how quickly and strong the ttc urge returns to me when a mere 4 weeks ago I was lying in hospital post-ERPC saying "I just can't go through this again..."

Keep busy, keep positive and sending us all lots of baby dust when the time comes!

Original poster

sifuentes · 29/01/2009 13:18

lonnnnnnnng post - soz!

annie and wasabi Sorry about your recent losses. I have read about them on the other threads. This is the time to treat yourselves as much as possible. Wine and cheese and pate and shellfish have all been my friends over the last few weeks! In fact I went on quite a retox in the first week of Jan, which must have seemed odd. but hey. it honestly did help!

I have done my best to be very rational ever since I was told it wasn't a goer, even though it was handled so badly by the EPU. I have kept telling myself that it is so very common, no reason why shouldn't be fine next time, all of that, but ever since I came back to work I have found that it lurks around in my mind all the time. And yesterday evening, almost out of nowhere, or so it seemed, I suddenly burst into tears. I do feel much better for it today though. They were very cathartic tears.

I suffered terrible mood swings when I first got back to work and so went to see a lovely acupuncturist. That made a huge difference. Not least since it was he who spotted my anaemia and told me to take lots of iron tablets, which have really helped. Will see him again in a month. He told me not to try before then as I needed to get strong again. It's tough because i actually quite want to pounce on DP tonight but I trust the doc and another month is doable. I want to make sure I am totally fit an healthy.

Am rambling a bit, sorry, but finally just wanted to add that I really really want to stay positive for next time too. I will be worried but I will do my bestest to enjoy it. It should be a special time. Easy to say I am sure suppose when you have only had 1 mmc as opposed to 2 or more...and you can remind me of this post when i am crapping myself before my first scan!

Hope everyone is feeling ok today, sending out happy, positive, it's all going to be all right vibes to you all. I'm feeling all right today, so have them to spare! xxx

OP posts:

Original poster

sifuentes · 29/01/2009 13:36

bluesatin - crossed posts but as you can see - I totally concur. And I must get my ass down the gym asap. and yoga - very good for the core strength which means less back ache down the line apparently xx

OP posts:

bluesatinsash · 29/01/2009 13:47

Well said sifuentes and glad your feeling positive today!

I really wish I'd waiting longer after my first mc back in August. I fell pg on first month of ttc then caught horrible chest infection when I was 5 weeks, was on anti-biotics and will always wonder if that contributed to mc

I want to get winter out the way and just be as healthy as possible. DH is also taking multi-vits - its like a military operation!

Original poster

sifuentes · 29/01/2009 14:08

well, whatever it takes, right?

OP posts:

wasabipeanut · 29/01/2009 14:09

Yes Sifuentes I'm gld you are feeling positive too.

Bluesatinsash - dh and I wanted to ttc straight away but after reading your posts I'm not so sure. I am assuming that I won't ov on this cycle - wasn't planning on OPKing or anything until after next AF. Buuuut was kind of hoping it may happen on 1st or 2nd cycle after that. Do you think that's too soon?

littlemiss26 · 30/01/2009 09:23

wasabi in my experience i wouldn't bother OPKing - i'm 6 weeks since my ERPC and no ovulation and no AF - unfortunately its quite common, but as you can imagine i've now got through loads of tests! just don't want to stop now as that could be the day! i'd say 2/3 months after a miscarriage is fine because your supposed to be more fertile in the first 3 mnths after and you want to take advantage of that i guess

anniecam38 · 30/01/2009 10:01

wasabi it is possible to ov quite soon after mc, my first mmc was Aug 2004,i was desperate to get pregnant again,hospital said no need to wait if i felt ready for it.I ov'd 2 weeks after mmc,got BFP Sept which unfortunately resulted in mc at 6 weeks in the Oct.Decided to wait till AF arrived and tried again,got BFP in Jan, this bean was a stayer in resulted in my DS who is now 3.3.

Like littlemiss26 says,the hospital did tell me you are more fertile in the 3 or so months after a mc.

bluesatinsash · 30/01/2009 12:11

wasabi - you need to do what feels right for you. I was desperate ttc after 1st mc and like the others say there is no medical reason to delay and you do have increased fertility (use me as exhibit A!)

I will be ovulating next week and its going to be very hard to sit this and next month out but I'm not mentally ready for the early pg anxieties and knicker checking after having 2 mc in 4 months. I'm hoping I'll be raring to go by April .

Good Luck with whatever you decide.

NigellaTufnel · 03/02/2009 16:51

I am not enjoying the waiting either - mc a couple of weeks ago, and am going to wait for a period then start again.

It's not a long time, but just want to get back in the game, but I know that if I rush it I won't have given myself time to emotionally heal.

Original poster

sifuentes · 04/02/2009 10:55

hmmm think i might be ready to hop back in that saddle and have another go on the old pregnancy rollercoaster ride. The boob fairy has totally left me now so I am back with my disappointing and pretty unimpressive pre preg pair. (If only the big melons could have stayed). AND i have the first PMT that I have had since september. which is a bitch. as am I.

So it might be time to up the supplements and cork the bottle of wine. I now hope that AF comes when she's sposed to. If not sooner.

Hope everyone else is OK and benefitting from the extra light from the sun bouncing off the snow. It's definitely helping me! Even if I have started to walk like Bambi.

ps: does anyone know if it's worth taking evening primrose oil and b supplements to settle the hormones? and if so are they ok to take if you are TTC/preg. Sure I read somewhere EPO probably not such a good idea

OP posts:

vesela · 06/02/2009 12:19

Thanks for the info. about the three months of increased fertility, littlemiss and anniecam. For some reason I'd got the idea that the increased fertility was only for about a month or so afterwards.

I guess I was thinking about waiting a couple of months, but on the other hand I don't want to miss that fertility window if there is one.

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