Having a bad day...

[monkeybumsmum]

I had my 2nd and 3rd miscarriages within six months of each other last year. The last one was found to have been a partial molar pregnancy, and so we have had to wait at least six months before trying again.

I have an appt on Wednesday to hear whether we´ve got the all clear to try again. Since New Year I have been feeling so excited about the prospect of trying again but with this appt looming all I feel is absolute terror at it all happening again. I am so, so scared.

I don´t know what I´m expecting whilst writing this, maybe just to hear that someone has been where I am now and that it´s all turned out okay? I just want to sit in a corner and cry as all I can think about is the heartbreak of what happened last year

Even after only one mc, I can totally understand where you are coming from. I went through a period of being terrified that I would miscarry again just as suddenly and not be at home, but out and about somewhere when I get that awful rush of blood

It DID pass, although I've made plans to have an emergency pack of dark clothes, a dark towel, pads etc at work and that made me feel strangely reassured.

Once I was back on the TTC wagon and undergoing the agony of a 2WW, things got easier - the fear of repeat MC is hidden by the excitement of looking for that elusive BFP.

Good luck - I think all you can do is keep talking and not bottle up your fears.

monkey, I got the all clear in december, after my pmp. I had been feeling excited - am a bit weary of this malarkey now (lost dd1 in 2005 to anencephaly), but onwards and upwards, lady. 2009 will be a better year for both of ys.

Thanks for both your replies...

I'm actually having a bit of a better day today and feeling a bit brighter, but I'm sure those horrible feelings will come and go.

Joolsiam, it is so scary isn't it. I think you're right that things will get easier once we're ttc. It's just being in this state of limbo at the mo that's doing my head in! Although I've been wishing away the past 6 months, now that I'm teetering on the edge of trying again I almost wish I was back when I definately wasn't able to try. It's a lot safer! Good luck ttc again, I hope you get that BFP soon

Habbibu, I think I may have said congrats on your all clear when I read that you'd had it, and if not then I am certainly saying it now! I didn't realise you had lost a daughter, I am so, so sorry. You are a very strong lady to have come through that and to even be thinking of trying again. There's me going on about how sad I feel You are right though, we must think positively. I do believe that 2009 will be a better year, and I so hope it is for you too x