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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

lost our little boy on new years day 23weeks+5 days!

36 replies

bubbster · 09/01/2009 11:31

hi
we lost our beautiful perfect son at 23+5 on new years day.due to waters breaking before christmas at 21 weeks. one week after having a normal 20 week scan. why why why? losing at this time in pregnancy is rare (apparently)and very hard cos everybody knows you were pregnant and now dont have the bump anymore. what do we do to deserve such tragedy? trying to stay strong for our 2 year girl but have broke down in front of her. she hasnt asked any questions yet but i know they will come soon thick and fast. any adivce?

OP posts:
bananapaddlepop · 09/01/2009 11:33

No advice I'm afraid, just wanted to say how sorry I am for you.

youknownothingofthecrunch · 09/01/2009 11:33

I am so sorry for your loss

Keep it simple but honest for your dd. It is fine for her to see you cry, she will learn that everyone gets sad sometimes. Give yourself time and space.

xxx

Lilyloo · 09/01/2009 11:33

so sorry

VinegarTits · 09/01/2009 11:34

Really sorry for your loss

mrsdisorganised · 09/01/2009 11:36
Sad
Dropdeadfred · 09/01/2009 11:36

so sorry to hear your sad sad news.
I think it is to be honest wih your little girl and tell her why you are so sad and that sometimes you wil cry....
I think it's worse for children to feel excluded from things and left out of emotional events.

I am so sorry for you and your dh.

BlueSapphire77 · 09/01/2009 11:44

Sorry for your loss hun i do not have any advice either really.. there are lots of counselling groups out there i'm sure someone will recommend one they used or something..
The best i can do is this..

I think they are more child friendly which is why i'm posting it

here
Never posted a link before so hope it comes out ok

SweetPea99 · 09/01/2009 13:22

So so sorry Bubbster. You need to give yourself time to grieve, this is an awful thing to happen to you and so unfair. Take advantage of all the help and love that you can.

nickschick · 09/01/2009 13:24

sorry

ClaireDeLoon · 09/01/2009 13:25

Bubbster I'm so very sorry

SixSpot · 09/01/2009 13:28

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news.

A very lovely former mumsnetter had a similar loss a few years ago and I know she always recommends SANDS - www.uk-sands.org/.

AmIOdetteOrOdile · 09/01/2009 13:30

So sorry for your loss bubbster

4everhopeful · 09/01/2009 13:47

How absolutely devestating and unfair - my deepest condolenses at your very tragic loss...

My heart bleeds for you, god bless you and bless your little angel baby boy.. xxxxx

theboob · 09/01/2009 13:51

so sorry for your loss

AuntyFlo · 09/01/2009 14:24

So sorry to hear your sad news.You must let out your emotions - it will help.
Your little girl is too young to understand what's happened.
Maybe your health visitor can give you some pointers on how to handle the situation with her?
My thoughts are with you. x

daftpunk · 09/01/2009 14:27

so so sorry x x

Watchtheworldcomealivetonight · 09/01/2009 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bluebump · 09/01/2009 14:31

Hi, I just wanted to say sorry for your loss. I lost my DS at 21 weeks a couple of years ago and it is heartbreaking. I didn't have any other children so I have no experience on how to handle that part but someone linked to this on another site I use so have a look here.

WorzselMummage · 09/01/2009 18:55

i am sorry to read this.

You didn't do anything to deserve it, life can be very cruel, i dont think there is any reason we get chosen to go though these things, please don't think you 'deserved' it, no-one deserves to lose a baby.

www.kanalen.org/prom/ is a wonderfull site about pprom, it might help you to find some answers, there are a lot of stories on there from people who have been through the same thing.

((hugs))

NuttyTaff · 09/01/2009 19:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

shabster · 09/01/2009 19:08

Bubbster - so very sorry to hear of the loss of your son.

Could I ask if you would like to come to a very special MN thread? Just a group of bereaved mums who are allowed to shout, scream, cry and laugh in each others company. All people of different ages with different losses but all trying to prop each other up and help. Its sometimes sad, often funny, always friendly and honest.

Bereaved mummies thread

RaspberryBlower · 09/01/2009 19:12

So very sorry. X

girlylala0807 · 09/01/2009 19:19

xx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 09/01/2009 19:20

I'm so sorry for you and your darling son Bubbster.

I'm on the thread Shabster has mentioned, please come and join us, or just lurk it if helps.

Take care xxx

lou031205 · 09/01/2009 19:23

Bubbster, I am so sorry for your loss. If it isn't too painful, did you get to spend time with your son before he died? I am just so sorry