Just need to get this out. Saw my best friend today.

[giraffescantdancethetango]

It was the first time I saw her since she told me she was pregnant. I have been in contact with her reularly but not seen her in person, I had been putting it off and was really worried how I would be. I am so happy for her but am extreemly jealous as well and I don't want my feelings to affect her.

We were going to meet for lunch today but she has bad sickness so I was to go round to hers. Got half way there and all the trains were cancelled to her bit. I wanted to give up at that point and go home, but I persisted and managed to get a bus. I had brought her Christmas present and some stuff I got her to help her through her morning sickness - magazine and ginger oat cakes and a heat pad for her back as its really sore.

I am so glad I went. It was much easier than I thought. She seems quite nervous and so was nice to be able to be useful and tell her about what happens when etc as its her first preg. After her mum&dad I am top babysitter apparently haha so made me feel special and she said baby can call me auntie giraffes So I feel so much better now I have seen her and don't feel like such an evil friend anymore.

As you were told on the other thread, it's normal to feel that way. I'm glad you've managed to resolve some of the issues you had and feel so much better.

You sound like a very caring and lovely friend, well done - it was brave of you to go

well done. it's hard. i've also been supporting a close friend through a very difficult early pregnancy. she had two miscarriages and got pregnant exactly the same time as i did - we were both over the moon. at that point i'd had one miscarriage. her pregnancy has lasted, which is fantastic. sadly, mine didn't. i always thought that if one of us had to lose the pregnancy, it would be better if it were me, since I am already blessed with a DS, whereas she has no children.
all the same, it was/is sometimes hard being really excited/positive for her all the time and not letting myself feel jealous.
i wasn't sure if she realised, but a few weeks ago she sent me the most lovely card out of the blue, acknowledging that it must have been tough for me and thanking me for being a great friend. it made it all worth it.