I am such a bad friend

[reindeercantdancethetango]

My best friend has just text me to say shes 5 weeks pregnant. I read the text and felt like I wanted to throw up then burst in to tears. I feel so bad my reaction should be happy for her! I haven't replied yet I feel sick. I am so jealous I feel like that should be me - but I am not even trying! So I dont know why I feel like that. I need to calm down and reply to her. Have been feeling quite low at the moment anyway at this time of year. I need to compose myself a bit before I reply she hasn't told anyone else apart from her oh so I want to be there for her but need to get a grip first.

YOu feel like that because you are allowed to feel like that. It's normal to feel that way, especially with what you have been through personally.
Give yourself an hour or so and see how you feel then.

reindeer..
Of course you are sad and a little jealous .. its all perfectly normal but

the very fact you said you want to be there for her makes you a good friend expecially given what you have been through

sounds like a close friend as you are the first person she has told so I am betting that your friend knows how sad you are right now and will be there for you just as you are there for her.. whats a few tears between friends??

This time of year is realy emotional anyway.

be good to yourself this festive season

Thanks. Have text her, in normal circumstances I would phone her but just cant manage. I need to get through tomorrow first then I can work on getting myself back to normal.

Hi Reindeer,
Just seen your message. All perfectly normal feeling like you do so cut yourself some slack. Feel exactly the same as you at the mo.
Texting her is at least a reply and time to think about what you're going to say from a distance.
Am sure you're a good friend - just go with how you feel at the mo.
Take Care x

You are not being a bad friend. Don't know your back story but whatever it is - you feel how you feel and that's that. No need to feel guilty or like a bad friend.
I've been in your shoes - it was horrible. I felt eaten up with envy. Was not mature enough at the time to realize that I could be happy for her and sad for myself at the same time.
Give it some time. If you can't manage to be around her for a bit, tell her why. Just tell her you love her and are happy for her but you're sad for yourself, and since you don't want to bring her down you need a slittle space for a week or two. And tell her it's NOT about her, it's about you - you care for her and will be back. She may not understand but as long as you can both accept the situation your friendship will be ok.
You obviously care for her very much - you're venting to us, not her.
xxx