Three miscarriages and feelings very raw

[screamingbutterfly]

I've just had u/s scan after slight spotting and scan showed no embryo and sac sized 5-6 weeks although I should've been 7w 5d pregnant. Have been told to come for 2nd scan in case my dates are wrong but sonographer seemed to agree that as I am sure of my dates, I will have miscarried about 2 weeks ago. I am absolutely devastated. This is my 3rd m/c (all in 2008) and I am 38 yrs old. First m/c at 7 wks, 2nd m/c after only 4w 3d. Had started blood tests etc after my 2nd mc (was transferred early due to my age) but then stopped this course due to new pregnancy. Will probably resume tests but right now I am not sure I can go through another pregnancy. Three m/c in one year, never had a baby, worried about having left it too late. I am so sick of it. I was so excited about my first pregnancy, but since then it has only been painful.

Hi butterfly, I have no advice as such to offer but wanted to say I'm thinking of you at this sad time. Horrid that it's Christmas too, I'm sure that makes it harder for you

My sister suffered m/c at 13 weeks and had a terrible time. She did go through it again with success, and I think it brought her a fair bit of healing. I hope it will be the same for you, although I know it's been three times now. My SIL only started having babies at 40, so don't hang up your hat yet if you don't want to! You are still young and you can get pregnant, obviously. Just hope the docs work out for you how to stay pg... x

Hi butterfly, I too wanted to send some love at what mst be a horrid time.
Just wanted to share with you that my eldest sister had too many mc's to mention over a 12 year period, but was finally successful and had her dd same age as you. Please don't despair, get those tests, gather your strength and take on whatever challenge faces you then. Lotster is right, you'll need to do some healing and be good to yourself, but you've been string enough to share the story with us, so you'll find the stregth you need again. We'll all be there with you.
Oh and btw, doctors told me and dh it was highly likely we would never have children and our dd is now 22 mths old.

So sorry Butterfly, I suffered 2 m/c last year and fully understand the pain you are experiencing.

Not sure if you have been told, but investigations will be undertaken after the 3rd m/c. I would also check out the miscarriage thread, where I am sure you will receive some help.

Finally, Just Jules suffered many losses and if you do a name search, she provided much information and support to many. She hasn't posted recently having given birth to a little girl earlier in the year.

I hope this helps and wish you all the best for the future x

Butterfly - I'm so sorry for all your losses, and I do know how it feels.

My first mc was October 2004 (13 weeks, mmc, found at routine scan), then May 2005 (7.5 weeks, natural) and August 2005 (8.5 weeks, baby had died the same day as the good scan the week before). With no interventions or abnormalities found, I got pg straight away again, and had a beautiful DS at 35 weeks in May 2006 when I was 35.

Are you in contact with the MC Association ? I found them a real source of strength when I was in the thick of it.

I'm very sorry for the loss of your babies.

I don't know if this is helpful but I know of a number of people who have had multiple mc and have gone on to have successful pregnancies. My SIL had 3 mc in a row, got pregnant again and had a little girl. She has just given birth to her second child with no further mcs in between. Another friend had two children, then five mc before goinig on to have another two children. Some people just seem to mc more than others but it does not mean they will never have children. It is however heartbreaking to be in the middle of it.

Have you read Lesley Reagan's book "Miscarriage - what every woman should know"? I found it very helpful.

Spot on Neolara that's the best book around for everyone involved, not just you but your dp & family too. I am so sorry for your losses butterfly. Yesterday was the anniversary of my 3rd mc and if you're like me you'll never forget the dates. I had 4 mc but on a positive note i went on to have 2 lovely ds's so please don't give up. I know it's hard, especially at this time of year when everyone's happy/jolly but just give yourself a bit of time to grieve. I'm sending you big hugs. Take care x

I had 3 miscarriages in 2006. The last was in late December. I have a 7 month old son, born May 2008, it is possible to have a healthy baby even after 3 or more mcs.

We went to see an infertility specialist after the 3rd mc. I would say, get all the help you can, take all the vitamins etc suggested. I had all the tests; took all the pills; and when the doctor was a bit pessimistic about our chances of success I put that to one side in a corner of my mind and thought, "I'll just do what I can to help this along as far as possible".

Good luck and hoping you'll get through Xmas ok.

Im so sorry for your losses. I have had two mcs within an 8 month period. I am having some private tests done abroad, when I visit my in-laws. In england they won't usually test as Im sure you know until you've had three, but I don't know if I can go through that terrible heartache again until I've had some tests. I really hope things do eventually go ok for you. I know it is difficult to remain positive after what you have been through. Just take it one day at a time, its all you can do.

So sorry to hear of your losses butterfly. Also had 3 mcs in 12 months. One cycle at a time, that's all you can do.

Hi butterfly, I too am experiencing mc number 3. Two this year and one in 2007. I got referred to specialist after 2nd mc due to my age and took aspirin and heparin injections during this pg but unfortunately it didn't help. I am going to my docs tomorrow to see if I can do anything else.

I just wanted to send my love and to say I know exactly how you feel, I too am devastated. Was looking forward to telling my family the good news at Christmas and now all I have to tell them is sad news.

I am 40 and feeling desperate about the future and if I can go through it all again.

But we have to be strong and try again, we may not feel like it now but in time we will.

Sorry for the ramblings.

Take care

thank you so much everyone for your messages of support. thank you also for the stories of those of you who did have a baby in the end!
Neolara - I have orderd the book you suggest (thanks)and also another one. Somehow getting more information gives me more of a sense of control back.
Surfingclare - unbelievable, how similar your story sounds. I had actually taken aspirin too (not heparin though) but it didn't make a difference. I also got referred to a specialst after mc #2 because of my age... I have now booked another appointment to resume the tests etc.(I stopped when I got preg). I had blood tests (for all sorts of conditions including blood clotting, hormone issues, infections etc)- still waiting for results; I was also advised to have a scan of uterus & ovaries for abnormalities as well as a genetic test (blood samples) with the Kennedy Galton Centre for my husband and me. I will give myself a break over Xmas and then get as much help as poss and look after my body.
I am so scared of going through this again ... but I will not give up just yet.

sorry to hear of your loss. i had a miscarriege at 4 weeks earlier this year after IVF and am pregnant again after treatment. i am 8 weeks along, and still no embryo has been seen on the scan. they think it may be a blighted ovum or a very slow progressing pregnancy, either of which does not look promesing. its panning out to be the worst xmas ever. but all you can do is be strong, and just think, that dispite the pain, you can go ahead and try again once it's all over. i would have to go through a thrid IVF in order to achieve another pregnancy. just the thought of it is killing me. don't give up hope just yet, you never know.

After my second m/c I told myself I wasn't going to try again - but we did. Then I lost a baby at 22 weeks, it was the worst time of my life.
We told ourselves "just one more try" and that too ended in m/c at 11 weeks. We tried again and had a big bleed at 6 weeks- we went straight to the Dr who sent for a scan - to my surprise there was a heartbeat! 8 mnths later we had a 11.8lb bb boy!

Don't give up!

Hi me too,
3 mcs all together.
im 38 now.

in between we had a succesful pregnancy and had ds.

had a further mc in March this year, trying for 14 months.

tis worrying but dont give up.

don't give up.

i had two unexplained miscarriages and then two years of nothing, and then i conceived my son at 38.

I did so much research on potential issues, pursued every avenue for infertility (clomid, IUI, IVF), and ultimately it seemed to come down to chance.

You just need the one good egg. It can happen.

i took baby aspirin and progesterone suppositories with DS ...

I know how you feel having just suffered miscarriage number 5! I am 37 now and worried about running out of time. I know how hard it is to be excited with a positive pregnancy test so my heart goes out to you. I wish you lots of luck and hope you have a successful pregnancy soon.