Lost our baby at 20 weeks

[Nicomaso]

You never think it will be you and the chances of anything rare happening are infact rare. Well, we found out after our 16 week blood tests that there was a high risk of downs, we had the amnio which came back clear for downs but brought up a new problem, the baby had an extra chromosome number 2 in some cells- (mosaic trisomy 2) so we were referred to Manchester St Marys Hospital, where we were told that not only did the baby have the extra chromosome it also had no fluid around it, so with both of these factors there was next to no chance of the baby surviving and that basically i should have miscarried early on in the pregnancy, The Mosaic Trisomy 2 has not been seen in North West England since 1997 - and never in the town where we live, what are the chances! The hard bit is, although the baby was only measuring 16 weeks it was fully formed and had working organs from what they could tell, we even have a scan picture with it sucking its thumb. Now coping with this loss comes all the questions of why us, what if....etc. Me and my partner are strong and will get through this but its just awful that women have to go through these situations.

God- just found your thread and wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Terrible, terrible situation

so sorry for your loss - sending you and DP my thoughtsx

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your baby Nicomaso, I too lost my baby last year at 21 weeks. Did you give your baby a name? Did you choose to have a funeral at all? You don't have to answer any of those questions, I know I like to talk about my DS loads!

I too was told I should have miscarried much earlier on in the pregnancy and that I was unlucky that he had managed to survive as long as he had. I lost my baby due to a blood condition but I had a healthy baby this year thanks to my fantastic consultant.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your baby. How truely awful for you and your dp. Life is very unfair sometimes.

really really sorry to hear this. i have had two early miscarriages and hearing about people who lose babies later on reminds me how much worse it could be. i can't imagine what you are going through.

So sorry to see your news. Sending you and your dp my thoughts

Sorry to hear that. It is so utterly miserable isn't it. I lost a little one, and all I can say is that time is a great healer so take each day as it comes and it will get better. Lots of hugs and wishes for hope and miracles in the new year.

Thank you for all your messages.

Blue bump - yes we named her Phoebe, the hospital in our town have their own ceremony and memorial garden so that is where the ashes will be scattered - we are still waiting for the post mortem, although I have an appointment with one of the consultants at the end of the month so maybe they will discuss it there.

The midwives in the hospital were so nice and made the awful situation alot easier to cope with. My partner chose to see her and hold her, i couldnt bring myself to as I dont think i would of let her go. But after he had and came back to the room I found it comforting to listen to him talk about her, we have photos of her that the midwives took and once I braved looking at them for the first time I often look at them, and it seems to calm me.
I have just returned to work and feel a lot better for doing so, and feel a lot better in myself. I agree time is the only healer for these situations.
Happy new year to all and hope 09 is a great year for everyone.

So sorry