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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

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Original poster

When to decide if it's time to stop?

11 replies

oinker · 04/12/2008 07:27

Well, sad news from me. I got my test results from Liverpool. My NK cells are only 1% high. The danger mark starts at 5%+.
This was my last chance. I spent the whole of last night just crying. WHY? Why is this happening?
I will never have my own baby. It pains me to say it. I have to be realistic. I can't keep going on and on and on. It's not fair on me or DH. He is really upset too.
LIFE IS SO F*ING CRUEL.

OP posts:

ClaireDeLoon · 04/12/2008 07:38

I'm sorry oinker, I don't know what else to say

Original poster

oinker · 04/12/2008 07:43

I have had four years of trying and 7 miscarraiges.... I have had nothing but shite from hospitals which are ranked highly.... Well known Profs that run clinics and are only interested in easy cases... I'm too complicated so they steer clear of me...

Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..... I am ranting now....

OP posts:

Picante · 04/12/2008 07:45

TheSeriousSanta · 04/12/2008 07:46

OInker.

So very sorry for you

Bumble01 · 04/12/2008 15:20

Hello,
very sorry to hear this. What other options have you considered?
Would you consider a surrogate? I know its not the same, but the baby would be yours...

FattipuffsandThinnifers · 04/12/2008 15:26

I'm so sorry, what an awful time you must have had. I know you won't feel like this now but it may help you to make a decision about what to do - whether that's to carry on trying, looking into adoption, surrogacy, or accepting a different life to the one you had planned.

If/when you do decide another course of action this might help bring this chapter to an end and begin a new one. Sometimes making a positive decision (whatever that is) can help in itself.

So sorry though

SpringBlossom · 04/12/2008 15:37

I'm so sorry - it is cruel and desperately unfair. It's the hardest thing to have to face. I hope you can find another way through ... I know what it's like to be a 'complicated case'... my experience of the medical profession is that whilst well meaning and trying hard, actually alot of the time they don't know what they are talking about. Stuff gets said about what is or is not possible when actually they don't have a clue... Medical experts aren't very good at admitting this, but sometimes it would be kinder. Really sympathise.

merrylissiemas · 04/12/2008 15:41

oh oinker, im so sorry you didnt get better news from lwh. i know how frustrating it is and how utterly sould estroying.

one thought, have they run tests on your vit levels? recent tests on me showed low calcium and vit d which could account for the mc's. worth trying. it wasnt picked up because they were checking hormones etc and not vit levels.

wannaBe · 04/12/2008 15:47

am so sorry to read this.

Am I right in assuming that your nk cell count is too low for it to be the cause of your multiple miscarriages?
Are there other tests you can have? Chromosomal tests to try and establish whether there could be a genetic reason for your mc's, or have you had all that already?

It's a very hard decision to make to stop trying and to admit that you're not going to have a baby. I can only imagine that the MC's make it that much harder to keep trying though.

Only you can make the ultimate decision, but do you think that you would perhaps benefit from some counselling to help you come to terms with things as they are, in order that you can move on and explore other avenues? Once you have been able to come to terms with this, you may find that you are able to look towards other options, surrogacy perhaps, or adoption?

I would definitely seak some counselling, and in the meantime, look after yourself.

Original poster

oinker · 09/12/2008 09:02

Ladies,

Thanks so much for everything.....

I am sooooooooo confused.

I just want to get thru Christmas and start the New year with a clear head.

I start a new job in the New Year... 2nd Jan. I work shifts at the moment and my work is quite confrontational. I have had people tell me that the change will be good for me and much less stressful. Friends are trying to convince me this will make all the difference... Who knows?

I just need someone to give me a definate answer.

OP posts:

aliwally · 15/12/2008 15:04

Hi Oinker - really really sorry to read this. I've had 6 m/c's and all unexplained. Try these links:

www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2002/10/021018081320.htm

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1038405/Woman-discovered-rare-condition-EIGHT-miscarriag es-going-online--proud-mum.html

Any good? Take care and look after yourself.

Flip