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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

What happens next? Missed miscarriage.

17 replies

usernametaken · 16/10/2008 22:25

2 days ago I had one very very light spot of blood, I rang the GP the next day who said as long as there isn't any red blood, I will be fine. I arranged a private scan for today at 9+1. The embryo had stopped growing at about 5+5. The sonographer said to just wait it out and the m/c should happen naturally. We are off on holiday on Saturday so I am arming myself with extra towels, nurofen, bed pads etc.
I know I cannot predict when the m/c is going to happen, but what is going to happen? I'm assuming that it will be like a short labour, very painful, lots of blood. If nothing happens in the next 10 days then I have to be seen for a D&C. How long will it be before we can TTC again? How long is the bleeding likely to last? Is there anything I can do in the meantime to prepare myself for the m/c? I'm trying very hard to be practical as I have a very inquisitive 3.5yr old who is so excited about her holiday.
Many thanks

OP posts:
MrsJamesMartin · 16/10/2008 22:28

I miscarried at 6 weeks and it was a heavy period, I had no pain or anything to resemble a labour type pain.
I was told to wait for one more natural period then try again.

Springflower · 16/10/2008 23:19

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage. Because it is a missed miscarriage it is not clear when it will happen but you can usually choose between medical management and a D&C. Most people seem to be advised to wait one cycle before trying again but that seems to be only for dating reasons and there is no reason that you cant conceive before then. The main thing I would advise is to be prepared for heavy blood loss and passing the sac (and deciding what if anything you are going to do with it). That may mean not going too far from toilets/ changing facilities and having spare clothes as well as towels, bed pads etc. I have not had any pain and been fine for being out and about and the bleeding has lasted from a week to 2/3 weeks but with about 3-4 days of being very heavy. Hope thats not too much information. Hope your holiday goes well.

Liney15 · 17/10/2008 07:58

Hi sorry to hear about this - its devasting news I know - I went through the same thing recently at 9 weeks after an initial light bleed at 6 weeks. I went for medical management and found that it was more traumatic than I anticipated. I'd thought it would be similar to a heavy period but it wasn't - you do have to prepare for passing the sac and you right it is more like a short labour I'd guess and there is a lot of blood.

Everyone tells me your more fertile afterwards - SIL got pregnant again without waiting for another period.

Take care of yourself.

MendedKnee · 17/10/2008 12:57

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MendedKnee · 17/10/2008 12:59

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youknownothingofthecrunch · 17/10/2008 13:06

I'm so sorry this has happened.

I was just over 13 weeks when it happened. I had been spotting a week earlier.

It started as cramps and low back ache, coming in waves for a few hours. Nothing too painful, but ached a lot - ibuprofen should help if you have any pain. It built up but never got to labour type pains at all. Once the miscarriage began it was all quite quick (and pretty much painless) - but there was a lot of blood and material (I really hate using that word) more than a pad could handle for a couple of hours. Then it turned into a heavy period for a few days which gradually tailed off after a week or two.

I had no pain really once it had started. But a hot water bottle or heat pack of some kind would be soothing. And make sure you'll have plenty of space to react how you need to.

Will there be anyone who can watch dd if you need your dh with you? A hotel babysitter or something? Just in case you need the space and him.

BananaSkin · 20/10/2008 20:18

Sorry to hear your news. I had a missed miscarriage too. I found out at about 8-9 weeks that the baby had died at 4-5 weeks and miscarried a few days later.

To be honest, I had no pain (no worse than mild period pain), not much more blood than a normal period, and nothing nasty to see. I must admit to being very very tired, which surprised me. I think I bled for two weeks and that my period took another month to return. After that period I think we ttc again straight away (sorry, it was a few years ago now and fuzzy on the details).

I hope you are OK.

hopefulone · 15/01/2009 23:33

I was 5 weeks pregnant and miscarried 10 days ago. I had cramping the minute the miscarriage started but nothing like I felt on day nine (after miscarrying). Sweet Jesus, give a gal something to bite on. This hurt like hell. I spoke to my gyno and he said this was normal. I was filling a pad per hour with bright red blood. It then calmed down in a couple of hours and I slept. This whole dramatic build up finally caused me to tell my boss what was going on... I have a hectic and demanding job, so they had to know why I was down, sick, better and at work and then sick again. He understood... I just never feel that I am good at saying those type of things in the best way. Not like I've had to do this before though... funny how one sec I felt like a grown woman on the edge of motherhood... and then a day later, I felt like a little kid, scared and unable to make decisions or talk "correctly" about my miscarriage. I am so turned around hormonally. Anyway, I took the day off today and just an hour ago - upon more super bad cramps - I passed what looked like a deflated sac. Has anyone else experienced this. Does anyone have some hope to offer. That was our first time getting pregnant. I have the most wonderful mother in the world - and all I have ever ever wanted in life, is to give a child the same. I know I can succeed as a mom. And I am so very scared this means I won't have the chance to have a child on my own. I know the whole "you had a miscarriage - but you can still have a baby" speech. And I know it is credible. But my worry has the best of me. Much love and hope to all you ladies. Yes - as one girl said - it is amazing what we go through. And that, I suppose, is why women are so amazing. We can handle a lot... (note to self - take your own words to heart)

scamperT · 15/01/2009 23:59

Hi usernametaken I'm really sorry to read about your loss. I had a missed mc at 12 weeks, baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. I did find it painful, but not having had a baby yet, am not sure how the pain compares to birth. Really bad pain one night, and lots of blood and other stuff, then not so bad for 12 hours or so, then what I guess is like contraction pain for a few hours the next evening (while stuck in traffic on the motorway for 4 hours, luckily DH was driving), the pain was really intense for a bit then went away, then came back again. After that, i passed a lot of solid material, then felt a lot better and had basic period pain and bleeding for about 5 days. I was told we could start ttc as soon as we felt ready, which we did. Took 5 periods after the mc, but now an pg again and keeping fingers firmly crossed. I hope your holiday is ok, come back on here if you need to talk again, I found it really helps

hopefulone so sorry for your loss too hon. Don't let the worry get the best of you, you WILL be a mother, and a fantastic one by the sounds of it. Take some time off work - that is the biggest piece of advice I could give anyone. I had 2 mcs last year and took just a couple of days off each time, which meant I became an emotional wreck. Especially as your job sounds very hectic, take a little bit of time out now if you can, to try to come to terms with what has happened, and to grieve for the little one you lost. Yes we women ARE amazing but we all need a lot of TLC after a miscarriage, not least from ourselves

littleboyblue · 16/01/2009 00:02

I'm so sorry. I had similar with my first pg. At 10 weeks I started spotting little bits of brown, the gp sent me to the hospital where they scanned and it showed that growth had stopped at about 8 weeks. They booked me in for a d&c a few days later. The bleeding after wasn't very heavy and lasted about a week.
My 3rd m/c was a natural one and we fell regnant again within a matter of days.

hopefulone · 16/01/2009 15:44

ScampterT - thank you. You're right, being on here will help. I really am having a hard time talking about this. I have not even told my childhood best friend, but plan to this weekend. Yes, you're right - less worry about work and more worry about me. And I am so sorry for your losses as well. You will be in my prayers - you and your dear one in the belly. My mom keeps reminding me - have faith, love, your time will come. And in the meantime, I have to say - this has brought my husband and I closer. We were married in August. He's been awesome - cooks, cleans, makes me laugh. He is sad too, though. Anyway, much love and hope to you for welcoming me to this writing process on my first go.

Cam414 · 11/03/2009 01:03

i had sharp pains 2 weeks ago so went for a u/s scan and showed i was 4-5 weeks so they booked me back in 2 weeks later to make sure all ok and see if the sac grows etc. went back this morning and the sac had grown from 6mm to 15mm in the 2 weeks which im guessing means im about 7 weeks but could only see an empty sac,the nurses didnt think it looked good and have booked me in again for another u/s scan in 8 days to see if any change but they said prepare for the worst. i am so worried and devastated and keep thinking maybe the foetus or heartbeat was just hiding this morning and couldnt be shown and everything may be ok because they have booked me in for another scan so there must be some hope. im only 20 and this is my first pregnancy, now i am so upset as my mind was set on this baby and so was my fiances. What are my chances and is it possible not to see the foetus or heartbeat at 7 weeks?

cupcakefairy · 26/03/2009 14:47

hopefulone the things you have written are exactly how I feel too. We were told this morning at 7 weeks our baby has died and now we have to wit to miscarry. I too have an amazing family and since I was a little girl have desperately wanted to be a Mum. I'm terrified I won't be able to now as well, especially as friends of ours have now had 4 miscarriages in a row and are both so emoonally damaged by it. It makes me so scared

But I too feel this has brought my DH and I closer; he has been amazing.

Cam414 how did your next scan go? It sounds like you had a similar experience to me. After some bleeding I had a scan at 5 weeks where they couldn't see much, then at 6 weeks they saw a faint hearbeat but said baby wasn't growing properly, and today they said baby has died... I really hope theyound a heartbeat for you this time.

Neeko · 26/03/2009 21:01

I had a MMC almost two weeks ago at 12 weeks. Baby had died at 9wks 1day. I chose D&C option as couldn't face up to anything else. I admire you all for coping with natural MC. I bled for two and half days and have had a couple of bits of spotting when particularly stressed since. havng more difficulty with still having physical symptoms of being pg and of course the hormones. Like you all I'm deperate to become pg again and hope we'll be lucky. Fingers crossed for you all and I hope we all come out of this dark place as stronger women.

ilovesummer · 27/03/2009 14:41

So sorry to hear this. I was just wondering if you have spoken to anyone other than the sonographer? I had a mmc detected at 10 weeks (baby had stoop and miscarried at 11 weeks. Be prepared for some very heavy blood loss. If you are going away I would suggest making sure that you know where the nearest hospital is, usually all is fine, i was unlucky and needed to be hospitalised and had a D and C.

We were told that we could start ttc straight away, but that it would be easier to date the pregnacy if we waited until after firsst af. We fell pregnant the following cycle, and the baby is due in 4 weeks.

I wish you well and HTHs.

ilovesummer · 27/03/2009 14:42

Just read the date on the OP!!!

chaykins · 08/05/2009 11:54

Hello everyone

I had my 12 week scan on Saturday (we thought I was 12+5) but were absolutely devastated to learn that the baby had died. We then had an agonising wait over the Bank Hoiday weekend, until Wednesday. I was referred to the Early Pregnancy Assessment Unit and was told that the baby had stopped developing at about 8 weeks - I had a scan at 7+1 and everything was fine then (was reffered there by my Dr as I had been experiencing some brown loss). The brown loss came back again when I was about 9+3, and called GP again but was told that although I was right to be concerned, with no pain and no bright red blood, there was no point in going for another scan.

I opted for the medical management as I did not like the thought of the D&C and being operated on. The medical management was traumatic. 4 pessaries, some pain. No pregnancy was expelled but I had some pain and was given co-codamol. This made me very sick. I had more pessaries and this time, it brought on awful, labour pains. I was in agony and was given gas and air, followed by a pethidine shot. I then slept for a few hours but still no expelled pregnancy. I was being monitored every hour as my blood pressure was low and I was running a temperature of 38.7. I was kept in overnight. I was given more pessaries, but still nothing - not even any pain this time. I had no pain and no bleeding at all. I woke up, had some mild period type pains. The dr saw me at 9.30am and it was decided that the best option was to have the D&C. So, I sat around waiting to go to theatre but at about 10.25am it all happened. I was very shocked. My waters broke, and then I bled and passed the baby and the sac. The heavy bleeding continued - I had to sit next to the toilet for the next couple of hours as the blood was gushing from me whenever I stood up. I know this all sounds very factual but I want other ladies to know exactly what happened to me so that they can be prepared. To be honest, despite the shock of the way it happened and the "labour" with nothing to show for it the day before, I was relieved in the end that I hadn't had to be operated on as I was so scared. I am very emotional at the moment and am bursting into tears every so often. I am signed off work for another week but hope to return to some kind of normality soon. My heart goes out to any of you who have had losses like this - it just feels so unfair. xxx

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