Miscarriage...have I or haven't I

[Parry]

Hello There

This is my first pregnancy and I could do with some advise after being informed i've miscarried?

Okay this is my first time on Mumsnet and have been reading various experiences regarding miscarriage.

Here's my story. First I'll explain my dates. On 13th August 08 I did a test which wasn't 100% conclusive so I did another on 15th which came back positive so looking back i'd say that I was at this time in first stage of pregnancy.

My midwife had to base how far gone I was on my last period; end of June and sent me for a 12 week scan on 17th September 08. I knew I couldn't be that far gone as we only stopped using contraception at the end of July 08 and there were no accidents.

So the nurse in the Anta Natal clinic said that I'd miscarried based on the size and the timescale provided by the midwife (my timescale only 4.5 weeks).

Although this was hard to take after i'd broke down in tears i'd convinced myself that she was wrong based on my timescales. The nurse rebooked me for the following week where upon she said there had been no change (6 weeks). I again broke down having told myself I was still pregnant becuase i've had no symptons not even any spotting. I have slight milky discharge now and then but apparently they say that is normal!!!

The nurse told me that she was 95% certain but had been wrong in the past and because I still feel no different booked me in for another scan in 2 weeks. I go back next Tuesday. Now at this scan if all is well i'm sure I will see change going by my dates as I will be 7.5 weeks pregnant.

I know it's difficult for anyone to pass comment on things like this because really we don't know which way this will go.

But there are a few things I would like to know, firstly I am coming to the end of my 3rd week of being told that I have miscarried but still have no signs...why is this and how long will it take if I have miscarried for things to progress?

Also I live in the North of Scotland, Morayshire to be percise and the population of pregnant women cannot be as great as compared to that of London. But on the day I went for my second scan I was seen at 9.30am now before me that morning were 3 other women. Now the nurse who scanned me had informed that I was the 4th woman to be told that morning of a miscarriage. Now maybe it is just me but does this not seem a little strange to anyone else?

I am so sorry you are going through this experience. I had a Missed miscarriage back in June and I know how upsetting it is.

I'm no expert but I wanted to try and answer some of your questions - I hope it helps although i'm afraid it won't be ressuring.

From what I understand of the dating system for pregnancy you would have been at least 7 weeks when you had the first scan. If you take your positive pregnancy test of 15th August as the conclusive one you would have had to be at least 7 days past conception then for the test to have registered. Which would mean at that point you would be 'officially' 3 weeks pregnant. This is because the medical dating sytem is based on a theoretical menstrual cycle of 28 days with ovulation/conception occurring around 14 days. They count 'weeks pregant' from the first day of your cycle which makes you 2 weeks pregnant when you actually conceive- that can be very confusing. I hope that made sense.

SO from your dates you would be at least 10 weeks pregnant now. At 10 weeks pregnant there should be a heartbeat so any scan you have now should conclusively show whether the baby is ok.

As far as having no signs of miscarriage I'm afraid my experience showed that this can happen even if things aren't ok. When I was scanned at 12 weeks the foetus was sized at 7 weeks meaning I had miscarried 5 weeks before and I hadn't had any spotting, cramps in fact I'd had sore boobs and pretty awful morning sickness. My body didnt realise the foeuts had died and still thought it was pregnant. I had to have an ERPC a week later.

I'm sorry I can't offer any more positive advice - I really wish I could. I think you should push to have another scan just to make sure but prepare yourself that then worst may have happened. Maybe someone else will be along in a minute to offer more hopeful advice or confirm/argue with what I have said.

Thinking of you

Thank you for replying it has been very helpful especially now that I understand the dating system.

Doctors, Nurses and Midwives don't really explain all these little details to you although I guess it is only at times like these that they matter to you.

So would you recommend that I have another scan after Next Tuesdays one or should Tuesday be pretty much conclusive?

Would you also recommend that it has passed on then I should think about getting help to remove the foetus? I'm worried that if it stays in there too long and doesn't pass it may cause infections.

I really thought that the only difficult thing about being pregnant would be the morning sickness and the actual labour. You never think anything like this could ever possibly happen.

If you don't hear from me again before Monday it's because I only have acces to a computer at work and not at home. I'll let you know how everything goes on next Tuesday and many thanks again .

Hi parry sorry this has happened to you, you are right they just expect you to know the dates etc. I would think if you have a scan on Tuesday then this would be pretty conclusive. To answer your question if you should get help to remove the foetus, it is entirely a personal choice. If it confirmed then you will be given three options, medical management - they give you tablets to bring on the mc, this normally happens in hospital, ERPC (D&C) you are given a general anaesthetic (spelling!) and the procedure takes about 15mins, or to let it happen naturally. To give you a little bit about my history I have just had my third mc, and my personal choice has been the ERPC but it depends how you feel about it. Have a think and it least it will prepare you if they have to ask this on Tuesday. Take care mm xxx

I chose to have an ERPC too and found it was the best decision for me. If you do need more advice there are plenty of threads on here discussing the pros and cons of different ways of managing a missed miscarriage.

If it turns out the worst has happened it is important to remember how common miscarriage is and there's no reason why you shouldn't go on to have a healthy pregnancy in future. I have posted about my feelings regarding my miscarriage (worrying constantly whether it was my fault - most recently about using the 'wrong' bubble bath)and found a lot of advice from people on here very reassuring. Try searching on my name to find the threads if you like.

Look after yourself and I hope you have good news on Tuesday.

To HairyToe, I was reading your post where you said you had awful morning sickness when this happened to you and this was exactly the same for me. It was my fourth pregnancy, I have a daughter of 5, then I m/c normally at 7/8 weeks. Then had my daughter aged 3, then missed m/c (14 weeks)in jan 08.
I had morning sickness with both my girls but it was very mild compared to what I experienced last time, sick all day and sometimes during the night. I lost over 2 stone by the end and I looked seriously ill. I want to compare our experience's as I've decided now that this was a sign something was wrong, do you feel like that now?
I am 6 weeks pregnant again now and terrified that it has/will happen again, no morning sickness yet which must be a good sign, it started the day before I took pregnancy test last time.

Just saw this kerrywa. Not sure what to think to be honest. Just after the miscarriage, back in June, I thought a lot about how I'd felt during the pregnancy. I did feel ill a lot of the time, and very cold all the time and generally quite run down - quite a negative experience compared to my other pregnancies. Although at the time I had no idea anything was wrong, afterwards I almost felt that these things were 'signs' that something had happened. Hard to tell though. Could just be to do with being older and tireder!

Funnily enough I too have fallen pregnant again - I'm only just 4 weeks though so its early days yet. Not sure how I'm going to get through the next few weeks to be honest - I'm almost pretending it isn't happening at the moment. If I start to experience similar 'symptoms' as last time I'll be worried for sure, but if I don't experience any I'll probably worry as well. Nothing I can do about it though.

Good luck with your pregnancy. Here's hoping we both have better outcomes this time (this would be my third baby too).