silent/missed miscarriage - my experience hope it may help with your decision what to do

[harro39]

I have just had a silent miscarriage, finding out last Thursday at my 10 week scan which was an obviously horrendous experience and having had the surgical management yesterday. I am now sitting at home feeling a bit achey and bruised but with a sense of closure and being able to move on. Having looked through the management options on the web and looking at people's experiences on various forums I decided to go for the surgical option as it seemed that people were going for medical as it was less intrusive and then still having to have the surgical. The medical seems to me more emotionally intrusive as it takes quite a while for the whole process to take place and some women reported the passing process as very stressful and painful both physically and emotionally.
The surgical procedure was literally over in 30 mins, I went to sleep at 10.15 and woke up at 10.45, and I have had minimal bleeding and was out of hospital in 4 hours. I personally have found this the best option to be able to move on from this horrible experience. I was also lucky that they gave me a scan before hand to put my mind at rest, I had not wanted to look when we initially found out. This time the nurse explained the whole screen to me and reassured me that I was totally doing the right thing.
I know I have been 'fortunate' in how 'smoothly'things have gone and this is not the case for everyone but I just wanted to put this up to give some more info for people who are having to make up their minds what to do. I know some people will not want this option and good luck in whatever you choose. It is a horrible time and a situation none of us ever imagine being in. I have been amazed to find out since it all how many people I know have been through the whole thing themselves and on a good note have gone on to have successful pregnancies afterwards. Good luck to anyone reading this who is having to decide what to do. you will be ok and things do get better xxxxxxxxx

sorry for your loss harro39 but glad that you feel you have done the best thing for you. I've had two MCs and chose to let things come away naturally; ie no medical or surgical intervention at all and was also fine with those decisions

Please be aware though that things may come back to haunt you at a later date, generally when you least expect it. There are lots of women on here who have experienced MC and a great support network for those either ttc again, or pregnant after a MC.

Take care of yourself, and your DP and I wish you well for the future

thanks daisy,
i actually felt a little miffed yesterday reading your post thinking, she thinks i'm in denial and i'm not but today i have been sobbing on and off most of morning so i obviously was and i think yuo helped me to realise that which i obviously needed to so thanks. i have no regrets about my management decision as it has given me a sense of closure that I think i needed to allow me to grieve the loss. I have ds 5 already and we found his early years quite difficult so there was a part of me that was scared of having another one and affecting how we are now. so when i had the mc there was part of me that was a bit relieved as i was anxious about it all. i think i have been clinging to that part as it made the whole thing easier to deal with. now the sad loss part has come to the surface so have to deal with this now.

oh, no, I didn't mean to make you feel bad , just concerned for you as it really is an unpleasant thing to have to go through. My first one, the only reason I didn't have the D&C was because they sent me home to think about it (they couldn;t fit me in that first day), but things started to happen that evening so we decided to let nature take it's course. My second MC was much earlier and much less physically (but not mentally) traumatic, and I'd done most of the bleeding before the mc was confirmed. And my experience of being hit hard with it came a couple of months afterwards when I just broke down one day ever nothing much at all really.

If you decide to try again, there are two great threads on here.....miscarriage avengers in the conception topic, and knicker checker's anonymous (pregnancy after MC) in the pregnancy topic. I couldn't have got through DDs pregnancy without the knickerchecker ladies.

Take things easy; be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve. and remember you can come and talk to the women on the above threads if you just need someone to bounce your thoughts off.

Take Care

SORRY I JUST HAD TO HAVE A WHINGE

I found out last Monday, after a small bleed at the weekend, that my baby had died (I was 12 weeks pregnant). I went back on Tues to discuss options. We decided to have Medical Management so had to go back on Thursday for tablets. 5am Sat morning I passed what I thought was the placenta after a little bit of pain. Then I went into Hospital again early Saturday morning (supposedly for up to 8 hrs). I ended up having labour pains for 10 hrs, violently sick etc and was kept in until Sunday afternoon. All I passed was a blood clot. I went back for a scan today, to be told the baby and sac etc were still inside. So after 6 hospital visits we are back to square one. They have now told me to go in for Surgical Management on Wednesday. But even then things dont always go to plan.

Im so I just want closure and to try to get back to normal. How long with this go on for. Ive had enough.

Then to top matters, this afternoon I waited an hour for my washing machine to finish (then found out I hadnt even switched it on), forgot about roast in oven (bone dry). I am now resorting to chocolate. Who gives a toss about the calories, ive got a big tummy anyway.

Is anyone else having a crap day today??

Sorry I just have to vent off steam. Best wishes to everyone else going through the same thing. Its crap isnt it.

Sorry I have posted this on the wrong thread. I told you I was having a bad day. Big hugs are with you harro39