trying again

[napa]

not needing a response but need to just write to get it off my mind.

had a mmc and erpc in april and at the time was determined to ttc straight away. 3 months later, not pregnant and feeling rubbish about it. am fed up with taking vitamins every day for no reason, and stressing over the 2 week wait. since the mmc have had shorter cycles, longer af, and spotting from day 18 so it all seems kinda messed up.

have decided with dh not to try again for the rest of the year and to start afresh in the new year, if ever. it has gotten to the point that i'm now wondering if i want to ttc again. on a good day i look at our life and think we're so lucky to have dd who is great and maybe we don't need anything else, just the three of us, other times i'm really sad that i'm not pregnant any more.

has any one else felt this way and is it likely to change?

no shared experience, just sorry to hear what you're going through. i've just had an early m/c (seven/eight weeks). i have a DS - one next week- and got pregnant again very quickly but then had the m/c....we are planning on trying again asap but not sure what to expect emotion wise.
did you have to try for long for your first baby?

Aw luvy I am glad that you have got on here and got that off your chest. I cant comment on if it will change because I only had my miscarriage on Friday.

I thought the same as you have been thinking today, that I am lucky to have my two boys and why not stay at that... and then when I came home as saw my boyf I just started crying. He really wants to try sooner rather than later (he would love a little girl) and half of me wants to do the same but then the other half is scared that it will happen again. But some people are saying trying to get pregnant, and being pregnant again helped them get over their miscarriage. Oh I just dont know what to do.

Hugs and best wishes napa xx

stress can delay conception.
i would not ttc but just not use anything.

i had 2 m/c and then had ds and now preg with a dd so i know how hard itis. ibecame obsessed with ttc.

it took 22 months to fall pg with dd and only one to fall pg with the mmc. i just remember each month when trying for dd and not sure i can go through it. i turn into a stress monster and dh may not want to live through that again!!! i was obsessed with ttc for the mc pregnancy (opk's, temping, signs and symptoms - searching on every website i could, diet changes for me and dh - even made him take cold baths!!)
have decided to wait this year (have now booked a holiday for april next year, and would miss this if pg), but i'm hoping i'll want to start trying again after this.

thanks for all your replies, think it helps just sharing and i haven't really been on here for a while.

also have had some probs since mmc which i hoping is the reason for not getting pg again - passed a retained product a couple of weeks ago and basically having pain and weird cycles since mmc. there has been about a week per month of no bleeding and the rest of the time is either week long af or spotting.
docs think all ok now - had a scan and showed nothing else so waiting to see what happens this cycle

Oh, hon, I know how you feel. I had mc in March, waited three months and now ttc again. It's SUCH a roller-coaster, isn't it? Just wondered, have you tried acupuncture for stress relief and to regulate your cycle? It's been wonderful for me, and, I know, for lots of others. I even think it's the reason why I avoided having to have erpc after an incomplete mc.

I think it does get a bit better, but the sadness just comes up and hits you when you're least expecting it sometimes...

Good luck x

hello napa,

i'm in the same boat as you. had missed m/c at 12 weeks, in nov last year. been trying since late dec but no joy.. i have become so tired and crazy from the constant wondering and waiting for the 2 weeks after ovulation only to be hacked to pieces by seeing my period start again..i want to scream when people tell me to just relax or start quoting % chances each month etc i had a scan a 7 weeks and there was a heartbeat and all was well and the chances of a m/c after that point are miniscule so the heck with the stupid math associated with this!!! i hear you on the vitamin thing too.. it's so hard you hear yourself say what's the point? i don't care anymore! i'm not going to try anymore! but you know deep down that's not true..so you keep taking the little pills.. i'm at the point now where i cannot be around pregnant people or new babies. this event has changed me into someone else, someone i don't like and that's what i resent about this most. i have an amazing son and am so lucky to be at home raising him.. and i know it sounds like i want it all but..it's just that the idea of staying at home was to be a baby machine and pop one out every 18 months! it's like i have no purpose now. i do my absolute best for my son and bust my butt to make him 100% happy, keep busy, clean the house till it sparkles but ... i just can't stop screaming with frustration and pain on the inside.. all the time trying to act "normal" while this is going on so as not to upset anyone or worry them..going for counselling this wk for the first time.. decided to go after GP (a woman!!!)told me to "get on with my life and just forget about trying to get pregnant" .. like i haven't tried to just "DO" that and am being like this cause it's enjoyable.. that's your response to someone who needs your help?!!! hoping counsellor can help me with my broken brain if GP isn't interested in fixing my body.. i guess my bottom line is i just can't believe it's come to this..

p.s. how are you know napa? are you ok?