Surgical Management tomorrow

[DuckboardandTowel]

I found out on Thursday I've had a miscarriage. Im booked in tomorrow for surgical management, have to arrive at 7am and very nervous.
I think people around me dont know how to act towards me which I understand but its making me feel awkward.
My partner has been supportive of my emotions, but hasn't given much away about how he feels.

I cant believe this has happened if Im honest, I want tomorrow out of the way.
I went to work on Friday but was very tearful all day. I think I will have a week off but plan to play it by ear.
I told one colleague but may explain on our group chat why Im not in - not sure yet.
Sorry for rambling.

Sending you a big hug. I am so sorry x it is truly heartbreaking. I had surgical management and although the day was very difficult emotionally and the days after, physically it was a relief to be knocked out and wake up and it was over and I just had to deal with the emotional pain. I recovered well, but did take paracetamol for a day or 2 as advised. The nurse advised me to take a week off work, and I did just that and was very glad I did. To be honest I spent the week in bed, sleeping, crying when I needed to, watching comedies, reading a book and just resting. For me this was helpful rather than being in work trying to hold it together and crying in the bathroom. But everyone is different so you will know yourself what you need. Again I am so sorry for your terrible loss x

Hello - so sorry for your loss. It’s an awful, awful time and you have every right to take time and space to grieve how you need to. I’ve had two D&C procedures sadly, and I also appreciated being able to be ‘absent’ from the event itself. Please be aware that you will experience a hormonal drop that can leave you all over the place, on top of everything else. I hope you get good care in hospital, but if not, please politely demand what you need. You will get through this, and I wish you all the very best. xx

And just to say, in case you’re nervous - both my experiences were completely (physically) painless. xx

Hi OP, I’m so sorry 😔

FWIW, surgical management for me is by far the most straightforward, “best” way to deal with this but of course everyone is different. Minimal symptoms/bleeding afterwards in comparison to a natural MC.
i think people don’t know what to say. It’s grief, isn’t it. But what helped me was realising everyone did mainly just want to do their best and try to take your pain away.
Take the week off work or more and look after yourself. X

Thank you for your kind words. It sounds silly now but its never occurred to me that I would get pregnant and there could be a problem, in my last 2 pregnancies it was smooth sailing and I have 2 lovely children.
I assumed this would be the same.

I want to get a good night's sleep but I doubt I will be able to, I have weird fears of either dying under GA or waking up and being aware, my rational mind tells me this is so unlikely but I wind myself up.
I need to get through tomorrow and then get through the emotions.

I think everyone feels the same until it happens to them. I remember the pure joy of seeing the pregnancy test and feeling so lucky, to my world coming crashing down. Twice now. It has changed my view on pregnancy and it is now something that scares me rather than excites me, but yet I want a baby so badly. Your feelings are so valid and you are not alone.
I also had those fears particularly the dying under GA, but all was fine. I only woke afterwards and the medication was quite strong so I felt no pain xx

When I had this op, I mentioned those worries to the hospital porter. He said I’m going to push you down there and I WILL be there after and taking you back. You’ll be fine.

He was such a nice man. When he came to get me he said see I told you’ll be ok :)

My other fear was stuff I’d read about in magazines like people saying they could feel things during surgery and I asked the anaesthetist about this and they explained to me why that wouldn’t happen without laughing at me. I also asked the surgeon how many D&Cs they’d done. I must have been a right pain!

I was so worried I’d never have kids. I did go on to have them thankfully.

You will also be ok :)