late miscarriage 22 weeks.

[mummylight]

i went into prem labour at 22 weeks gestation app due to a viral infection. labour was 48 hours and my baby boy was fine until i had to start pushing, then i got taken down to theatre as they suspected scar rupture as i have had two prev c-sections. i lost a lot of blood had a blood transfusion. and my beautiful baby boy was born but not alive! he weighed one pound and was 29 cm long, Henry we named him and he was perfect in every way,i am bafled as to why this has happened, I am 34 dont drink,smoke take drugs. I took care of myself, but am wondering if it may be due to only having my little girl evie only 2 years ago, and if stress could do it! i do hope to find someone on here that has had a similar thing happen to them. I am lost and feel empty. The funeral was only 2 weeks ago. I just keep asking WHY!! very very sadx

No advice to offer just wanted to say my thoughts are with you and im so sorry for your loss X

I'm very sorry about your loss.
I lost my son at 22 weeks as well. Have you had your follow-up appointment yet? They found an abnomality at my son's postmortem but very often they find no reason at all. Please don't blame yourself.
Two years later I had a healthy daughter. The pain does get better, I promise. have you considered getting in touch with SANDS, I've heard they are very good.

Thinking of you. x

Sorry for your loss, I am afraid I have no answers for you, but wanted to know you have been heard.

Hoping someone who can support you better is along soon.

Yes, come over to the SANDS forum. Lots of us in the same boat over there. And lots of support too.

I lost my daughter at 18 and half weeks just before christmas.

Sorry that you have lost Henry.

I am so sorry for your loss.
I lost my son at 21 weeks due to abnormalities (slightly different circs as found a problem at scan). Has anyone put you in touch with a bereavement counsellor? That did help me through the immediate aftermath of grieving. Try cruse...

Also found posting on here plus SANDS very helpful.

As unfitmother says it does get easier as you learn to live with it.

xx

Yes I agree, try to see a bereavement counsellor - our hospital had bereavement midwives...

It does get easier and you do learn to live with it but you never forget.

yep bereavement midwives also very good but specialist grief counsellor was fantastic - sometimes you get so pent up with it all that even dp can't understand. Found her fantastic for helping me let the feelings out as trying to make sense of it all was sending me insane in all sorts of ways

Thank you all for you nice words of comfort. Unitmother - I am sorry also for your loss of your precious son, Havent had follow-up appointment yet, but they did say that there was little point doing a post mortem on henry as the infection was something i had and the swabs on him came back clear, just have to wait for the placenta to come back from lab! i have been given info about sands and will be calling them, i think i need to!I suppose time is the healer.

sands also has a website you can post on - think you can access and sign onto website

So sorry for your loss, I am sure you would have been a fantastic mum to little Henry. Please don't blame yourself.

I had 2 m/c, both in the first trimester so I can only imagine what you are going through. I also spent hours thinking about anything that I might have done to cause the m/c, the box that I lifted the week before, the sip of wine at a birthday party. At the end of the day, I accepted that the time was not right for my babies, and that there was nothing that I could have done to keep them.

Please accept the help and support of others here who have sadly been through similar situations. I hope that you can find some comfort here on MN.

Thinking of you.

rip henry x