2nd MMC yesterday. No hope now

[ThisWiseTurtle]

Found out yesterday (10w 6 days) that my baby has died at 8w 4 days. I had a scan at 7w, all was good - measuring a little bigger than expected and a strong heartbeat. This is my second MMC - last time I found out at 12 weeks (November 2025). I have hypothyroidism, which has made getting pregnant harder, and my levels weren’t monitored at all by the GP during either pregnancy (neither lasted long enough for me to make it to the booking appointment, so no midwife either). Apparently the Royal College of Obs and Gynae say levels should be checked every 4-6 weeks. I’m 40, soon to be 41. I have 1 DS (4 yo). It’s just too late for me now isn’t it? I had terrible HG with all three pregnancies and was so miserable, really wondering if I’d made a mistake as I wasn’t caring for my son properly, but when I saw the baby on the scan yesterday I thought “oh look at its cute little arms!”. There was this moment of joy and then she told me it was dead. I’m never going to have another baby am I? I’m too old. I’m absolutely devastated.

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss..I also have hyperthyroidism but haven't had any problems. I don't think age is so much a big thing I had our last twins at 42 and there now 2 and three of my friends are due in the next 4 weeks and there 44 and 45s..wishing you all the luck

Thank you for taking the time to reply. Are your friends pregnancies through IVF? I don’t know anyone conceiving “naturally” (sorry, sounds judgemental but I don’t know how else to describe it) at 44 or 45, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything.

I know quite a few who have conceived without medical assistance over 40. One was 49!

So sorry for your losses OP. If it helps to know, my DD had her only child aged 41, after two 12 week miscarriages in succession. Obviously she was anxious during her third pregnancy but it was textbook perfect and she had a natural birth. DGC is delightful.

Wishing you luck.

Thanks everyone. I just feel broken by the whole thing. I know I should be grateful to have one healthy child (and I am). But I still wanted more.

Sorry to everyone who has gone through it. It’s the worst club to be in.

I am very sorry for your loss.

It sounds like the keyword here is hypothyroidism. You will need to have a serious conversation with your GP about keeping your TSH below 2.5, checking your levels immediately you become pregnant again and monitoring according to guidelines throughout your pregnancy, with advice from an endocrinologist if necessary.

cks.nice.org.uk/topics/hypothyroidism/management/preconception-or-pregnant/

So sorry to hear this. I also had a missed miscarriage in Jan after seeing a heartbeat (also measured slightly bigger than expected) at 8 weeks, then by 10 weeks after a loss of symptoms, I had another scan and it had died at 9 weeks. I had something similar before my 2nd son was born 4 years ago. I am 40 in oct and pregnant (early) again and totally understand your worries. I have the same but holding onto the thought that many women over 40 have healthy babies and many young women have successive miscarriages. Hope you're feeling okay. Those first few days/weeks are so so gutting and painful x

Hi there OP. Just couldn’t leave your post without commenting. I also had two MMC at 16 weeks and 13 weeks at the age of 39 and 40. Unfortunately for me and my husband, we left it there. I wanted to share that side of things too, because it’s not always stories of magic and light where babies are born after such loss. It’s ok to process this and really think about the future, and if it looks different. I wish you all the best, and that you find healing. x

Thank you for your support everyone. There is plenty of purpose and meaning to be found in a life that isn’t how we planned it to be, I do understand that. I’m just still coming to terms with it all and what it might mean. Sometimes the fight isn’t worth the pain and I don’t know if I’m at that point yet, but I suppose I can wait and see. Sending best wishes to all of you and much gratitude for your kindness.