What to expect during a miscarriage

[HanaPort]

Hi everyone,
I would really appreciate some advice. I was 11 weeks pregnant today but sadly this morning I started passing blood. I went to the hospital to have a scan and it showed an embryo that had apparently stopped developing at around 7 weeks, with no heartbeat.
I have been passing smallish amounts of blood all morning, with some mild cramping. I am now expecting to pass the pregnancy in the next days (or weeks?).
I was really hoping to get some advice on what the next few days might be like, and whether I should be thinking about changing/altering some things. I've cancelled a work social event tonight, and am very lucky that today and tomorrow I can work from home. On Wednesday I am supposed to be spending the afternoon doing voluntary work in a school which will be intense and high energy (and not necessarily somewhere where I have easy access to a bathroom). I am just worried in case I start bleeding a lot/passing a lot of material and it will be awkward and uncomfortable. Should I tell them I am unwell? Or do you think it should be fine? And what about the next days where I should be in the office - should it be OK? I've read the official information I can find online but basically says to try and rest and stay at home, which I can do if REALLY necessary but I'd rather not (also because emotionally it would be good for me to be out doing things to take my mind off it).
Thanks so much for any advice.

Hopeful bump

Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss
I have just experienced an early loss myself and everything is very fresh so thought I'd offer my experience to see if that helps.

I was already aware of a likely missed miscarriage from some scans and awaiting a second scan prior to any bleeding. I first started light bleeding and cramps on Thursday evening, the light bleeding continued on and off until getting heavier (more like normal period with small clots) yesterday. As the days went on the cramping got more intense, less period like more similar to contractions. I was taking cocodamol to try and manage the pain but this didn't help at all today when I finally started to pass properly.

So it's taken around 4 days since the start of my bleeding to pass and I haven't left the house other than a trip to urgent care Friday (asking for help passing which I was denied, long story). The cramps are exhausting and I just haven't had the energy to do much other than existing and maybe read.

The actual passing and subsequent heavy bleeding has lasted around 4 hours maybe and now I'm at a heavy period stage and honestly feeling oddly relieved.

Hope this ramble helps.

Thank you so much for your message. It's very helpful and I'm sorry for your loss. I really hope the worst is over for you now. Why did they deny you help?
I had stronger cramps this afternoon but they seem more manageable after paracetamol and ibuprofen (honestly I love ibuprofen, a sad silver lining is being able to take it again). I have started passing bigger clots etc so hopefully the process will be over in not too long.

I’m so sorry for your loss

I can’t speak for anyone else but unfortunately I had a pretty awful miscarriage. I was in significant pain (childbirth like contractions) and ended up passing the foetus and pregnancy tissue in hospital. I had to be given tranexamic acid by injection to stop the bleeding. I then had to have surgery as not all the tissue had passed unfortunately then ended up with a womb infection 🤦‍♀️ I had 3 weeks off work, all in all pretty horrendous but I know some people who have just had a bit of bleeding and gone back to work the next day with no complications so it really does vary. I don’t want to scare you but in your shoes I would suggest cancelling any arrangements that take you out of the house, for the rest of the week and take it day by day. If you start passing significant amounts of blood (clots bigger than your fist) don’t hesitate to go to A&E or call an ambulance. Will keep you in my thoughts xx

Hello.
I wholeheartedly agree with the pp, everyone is different.
Many have pain controlled with simple painkillers, not much bleeding but some of us have unmanageable pain & very heavy bleeding requiring hospital care. I am the latter.

Take it as it comes, but I would recommend you cancel any upcoming activities that take you away from your own comfortable space and toilet. It’s really not something you can “push on through”.

Also, I can’t stress this enough, when it’s all over, please consider taking iron supplements to replenish your blood stocks, you will need a full tank to try again when you feel up to it.

I'm sorry you are going through this. My miscarriage began in a similar way to yours. After about three days, cramping became very painful and I was advised to go to A&E, where I was quickly given a shot of morphine. I was admitted and given medication to clear my uterus. It didn't so after three days lying in a hospital bed, I had a D&C.

All of this sounds far worse than it was, for me at least. My main memories are of telling the ambulance nurses a dreadfully lewd joke (not my usual style) as I was transferred from the A&E hospital to the gynaecological ward in a different hospital, and lying in the sun in bed looking out over the city centre. I was 41, and conceived again within a few months, giving birth to my DD at 42, after a very easy pregnancy.

My advice would be that things can be unpredictable so I would aim to stay at home until you know how it's going to go.

I'm really glad it's helped, it feels so frustrating not knowing what is going to happen I completely understand.
They wouldn't offer me any medical management because they were waiting on a second scan to be done on the 8th. Despite having 2 private scans and 1 scan with the NHS all showing no growth or fetal pole they said they had to be full sure it wasn't a viable pregnancy.
It's been a very frustrating experience honestly 😅

I’ve had 5 miscarriages. My 9 week one was by far the worst out of them all. Intense cramping which came in waves. Heavy blood loss and huge clots where I thought I’d passed everything. A scan a few weeks later showed nothing had passed and I needed medical intervention 5 weeks later. Bleeding for me lasted 2 months.

So sorry

id had a really painful period
take care of yourself

I'm sorry this has happened.

I think it probably varies but I was shocked at the extreme pain and contractions I had. I was 13 weeks and it really was very unpleasant. But once it was over, when the main part came away, the pain stopped and I just felt wrung out.

The pain is worse that you expect. My loss was only at 5/6 weeks but about 6 hours after the bleeding started it was heavy, clotty and very painful. I was surprised how painful it was for such an early term loss. Stock up on painkillers and pads (tena lady pants if you find it more comfortable or you’re very heavy) fill a hot water bottle and go to bed. I’m so sorry that this pregnancy isn’t working out as hoped xx

I had a 10 week one. I didnt take any time off work because I didn't want anyone to know. Bad cramping on first day and then bled heavily for a week and passed solid lumps. Bleeding was managed by wearing pads so might not be that heavy compared to others. Not knowing you're not meant to go to A&E, she firmly told me not to come back unless in had a 'really big hemorrhage but reluctantly made me an appt with EPU.

my first loss was around 10 weeks - baby stopped growing at 7 weeks and found out at an early scan. I had pretty awful cramps all weekend but nothing happened so had to go back to hospital for a d&c which was pretty awful. I know quite a few woman who have had miscarriages and there are so many different stories. I would plan on staying home as much as possible and taking care of yourself. It could be quite traumatic if you were on a bus or similar and things started getting worse.

im so sorry for your loss.

Oh I'm so sorry to hear this. My 12 week MMC happened all in an afternoon (in terms of passing g tissue and baby). After that it was a normal (ish) period. I'm sure there's great variances to all this but just as an example of it happening quite quickly, and thankfully painlessly.

Sending love - it's a shit time xx

So sorry that you are going through this. As it’s not possible to predict , I would stay home to be on the safe side as I’ve had miscarriages where I suddenly started heavy bleeding. Have the hospital offered you any options other than to wait it out and home? It’s a very personal choice but I preferred to have a d&c and have it over and done with rather than the wait it out approach.

Thank you so much to everyone who replied and shared your experience. I'm really sorry that you all had to go through this.
I'm taking all your advice on board, am going to play it a bit by ear but will be prepared to call in sick for everything that would take me out of the house this week.
I've actually got a doctor's appointment tomorrow (it was a regular pregnancy one that had been booked for a long time) so I'll discuss all the options with them then.
My DH and I have just had a quiet evening on the sofa watching How to Get to Heaven from Belfast which was great for taking my mind off the miscarriage (definitely recommended the series!). My DD (6) was also being especially delightful and funny this evening so just really counting my blessings to have my lovely family here to buoy me up.