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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Feeling let down by care after medical management of pregnancy loss

3 replies

AppleCrumbling1 · 03/05/2026 11:44

As the title reads basically, I’ve been left feeling really disheartened after this whole experience…I knew it wasn’t going to be pleasant, but held onto hope that I’d be fine at home and could
manage the loss but it just didn’t turn out like that. I’ve had two previous healthy pregnancies and DC

I had medical management as my body hadn’t recognised the pregnancy wasn’t developing for 4 weeks. Had the pressary’s inserted Thursday AM, sent home after 30 minutes. That afternoon I had intense contraction pains with minimal bleeding for 5 hours, nothing was passing and my temperature suddenly spiked to 40 with chills. We couldn’t get hold of the ward, so went to A&E where I was triaged and given a cannula for fluids (I was throwing up constantly). We were sent back to the waiting room, where one nurse came out and told me “open your mouth” and gave me a syringe never telling me what it was. Then a doctor came out asking about how much blood I was loosing, when did I loose the pregnancy, if I was passing clots….all in front of the full waiting room. He told me it was morphine in the syringe which explained the sudden sleepiness.

we were then sent to the ward, where we waited another 4 hours as the doctor wasn’t available yet. Not in a private room, just on chairs in the hallway. At this point I was on my hand and knees with the pain begging my partner to take me home so I can be more comfortable.

the doctor finally came, and she told DP he couldn’t come into the room with me as “you’ll be in the way”. My cervix was examined and she used forceps to clear it, a larger clot had gotten stuck which explained why I wasn’t passing anything but was in so much pain. I was squirming and crying the whole time and she kept telling me “you just need to get through it, just breath slower”.

Once that was over I was told to go home and to expect heavy bleeding and pain, but there was nothing the ward could do. I was sent home with antibiotics and Buscopan.

yesterday afternoon I finally passed the sac, it was obvious what it was. I didn’t expect it to upset me like it did, even though I thought I was prepared for it.

its just heavy bleeding now, with bad period and back aches but hoping that’s the worse of it over. I still have a high temperature and feel very dizzy/light headed (like when you’re drunk trying to sleep and the rooms spinning). I’ve tried the ward but no one answers and I can’t face another A&E experience like that.

I just feel so sad, shocked by the whole process and like the hospital don’t care or have time for me. They’ve never mentioned mental health support, and the whole saying “it’s just a heavy period” is nonsense in my experience. I just feel so rubbish, and I’m terrified to reach out to anyone because I already feel like I’ve made a clown of myself asking for help. They all just pushed me to the side as if “you’re not important, go home and deal with it”

just wanted a rant, and is it normal to feel so poorly still?? Weeing is agony, and I haven’t managed to go to the toilet as it’s so painful down there

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WhatTheFudge0 · 03/05/2026 11:54

I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. You should never have to feel this way. I can understand why you would be reluctant to reach out but please do if you feel something isn’t right. I found Sands charity helpline hugely helpful, they listened, showed me compassion when I was being fobbed off by the hospital.
I went through something similar and it still upsets (and angers) me when I think about it.
you’ll get through this. Sending love and strength.

StellaShining · 03/05/2026 12:31

This is truely awful, I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this. I completely understand what you mean by it’s just a heavy period is nonsense. It’s so much more and you’re just not prepared for it. I’m not sure whether the painful wee is normal or not, could you go to your GP instead of the hospital?

I hope you’re able to take some time to rest and recover. I think that the physical side of miscarriage is minimised so much in our society, even an early one has a huge impact on your body. It might take a while, don’t be hard on yourself and rest as much as you can x

AppleCrumbling1 · 04/05/2026 15:42

Thank you @StellaShining and @WhatTheFudge0 for replying, just feel awful and it’s just a lonely process!

I ended up going back to the ward today and they think I have an infection brewing so have been sent home with two lots of antibiotics and a scan scheduled for Monday next week to check there’s no retained tissue. It’s not a UTI as my wee sample was clear…

Hoping I feel more like me soon, this entire process has been so draining physically and mentally x

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