Missed miscarriage

[AppleCrumbling1]

Hi all,

A long story short, went for an early pregnancy scan in March to confirm location due to a risk of ectopic. Confirmed pregnancy was in the correct place, however measured 4+3 weeks when ovulation suggested should have measured 6 weeks. Told to come back in a few weeks to check if pregnancy was viable as sac was empty.

Since then my symptoms (nausea, taste and sore boobs) all drastically reduced with on and off period pains.

we had the rescan on Tuesday, I should have been 8+3 weeks, but pole measured 6+2 with no heartbeat. Ultrasound tech and nurse afterwards were both so supportive and advised this is a missed miscarriage. I have to go back next week to confirm as per NHS guidelines but know in my heart it’s over.

today I had a very random onset of sharp stabbing pains on one side, like electric shocks. They lasted about 10 minutes and now I have the dull period aches. No bleeding or spotting yet.

I was wondering if it’s more common for the bleeding to start prior to the pain of a MC? And if nature doesn’t take its course, would those with experience advise medical intervention or surgical?

feeling utterly lost and quite lonely.

thank you.

I'm so sorry. I can't comment on the pain you're experiencing but I've had three MMC's and would recommend surgical intervention. Medical management isn't guaranteed to work and you would need surgical anyway. My experience of surgery has been very positive. It's a very quick procedure and I didn't have any pain or heavy bleeding afterwards.

@KittyEmK thank you - I’ve done some reading online (trying to avoid going down the rabbit hole!) and a lot of women have said the same as you - that medical isn’t fully successful, more times than not, and can be more traumatic. Just keen to get on the road to recovery, which I feel is a long way off yet

I’m so sorry. I had something very similar happen back in Jan/Feb and it was so hard, so really feel for you.

I opted for medical management. Obviously this is such a personal decision but (just in case it’s helpful to read of someone else’s experience) what swung it for me was: wanting to be done with EPU (it had been a v long drawn out process and one of the gynaes was particularly gaslighty so the idea of them giving me some tablets to take away and - all being well - me not having to go back was appealing), the risk of uterine scarring with surgical (Tommy’s charity have some stats on this but from my research the risk of long term issues is teeny tiny, but this was my second pregnancy and second miscarriage so I had absolutely zero trust in my body not to find another way to mess me around!), I’d had a spontaneous miscarriage the year before so felt I knew what I was in for and that I could cope with it (high pain threshold, husband could WFH to support if needed, etc). Also obviously no kids to worry about or arrange childcare for, which made it simpler!

Happy to share more about the actual experience if you’d like, but in sum I’d say it was unpleasant but not traumatic. The leaflets EPU gave me said that medical works for 4 out of 5 women and luckily I was in that majority. I didn’t require anything additional, just did a pregnancy test 3 weeks later which was negative.

If there’s a next time (obviously I hope there isn’t!) I’d choose surgical simply because it would be my third miscarriage so I’d be eligible for the additional testing and surgical seems the most reliable way to get what is needed for that. But if that wasn’t the case then I’d opt for medical again.

If you do end up going down this route one big tip I’d give would be to make sure the EPU give you strong painkillers (mine gave codeine as default) and anti sickness medication. My EPU didn’t give anti sickness as standard but I had looked online before and seen that other EPUs offered cyclizine, so I asked for that and they were happy to prescribe. I was really glad of it both to not feel sick but also because I think the combo of that and codeine kind of knocked me out and I slept through a lot of it! Other than that, a hot water bottle was really helpful too (I had two my husband rotated regularly for me).

Re your question about bleeding/pain, both my miscarriages started with brown spotting (in the medically managed one this started the evening before I took the misoprostol, almost 48 hours after taking the first medication). I’d had some twinges and aches before this but the “proper” pain has always followed spotting then bleeding for me.

Wishing you all the best with it, and brighter days ahead

Thank you @Jkasyu , it’s an absolute minefield trying to make the best choice! I have two older children who I need to juggle so definitely hoping to have a smooth process whichever way I decide! I have endometriosis, had surgery for that a few years ago, so I’m really nervous about additional scaring from surgery and like you - if I can avoid it, I’d like to, but also aware that a lot of women need the surgery despite taking the medical route. I feel like medical is less invasive than surgery, but anxious about the side effects as you’ve said! Still not spotting/bleeding just the odd waves of discomfort

one relief is work are being really supportive so I can have as much time off as I need, so one less thing to worry about. Absolutely dreading the scan on Tuesday as I know it’ll be so hard, but needs must.

thank you for your advice, and I’m so sorry about your past losses and wishing you a successful pregnancy in the future!