Struggling to get my head around miscarriage

[booksandsnowflakes]

I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks last week and I’m really struggling to get my head around it. It was my first pregnancy.

I had a scan at 5w due to some right sided pain to rule out an ectopic- this showed a gestational sac and yolk sac, I then had an early reassurance scan privately at 6w1d (we’d already booked this before the EPAU visit at 5 weeks) which showed baby measuring perfectly and we saw the heartbeat. At 6w5d I started lightly spotting but EPAU told us this was normal in early pregnancy and not to worry, we already had a follow up scan scheduled with them following our 5w one so they said just to keep this. The repeat scan at EPAU showed baby measuring perfectly again at 7w3d and again heartbeat was seen and spot on. I was still spotting until that point but after the scan the bleeding increased and just under 24 hours after that scan I miscarried.

The hospital told us it was most likely bad luck and a chromosomal issue but I just don’t get how it all progressed so quickly when baby had been measuring perfectly and we saw the heartbeat twice? I guess I just thought if it was a development problem there would be signs on the scan- slower growth or slow heartbeat for example. I can’t shake the feeling that it’s my fault instead- something with my body or that I had too many scans and that caused it and that breaks my heart

It is not your fault, and the scans certainly will not have caused any damage. The vast majority of miscarriages (especially early ones/pre 12 weeks) are for chromosonal reasons. I’m so sorry you’re going through this and I’ve felt the same anxieties when miscarrying myself, which I’ve done a few times (I now have two sons so please don’t lose heart). Sending you comfort to get through this really heartbreaking time xx

Gently, love, it's absolutely not your fault. These things just happen. It's very early days now for you and I'm so sorry for your loss and this painful experience.
Please try not to blame yourself. The embryo (I don't want to distress you with language, please accept my apologies if calling your pregnancy an embryo feels wrong) was not viable for reasons totally outside of your control.
I really hope you go on to have another pregnancy and it all goes smoothly next time, which in most cases it will.
So sorry. 🥀

Lots of miscarriages happen before and after 12 weeks and they all would have likely looked fine and with a heart beat at the stage you saw. It’s not your fault. It’s just utterly crap.

It's not your fault. I've had 4 miscarriages, at least 2 (the 2 that were tested) were due to chromosome abnormalities, and I saw healthy heartbeats in all of them at least once. You did nothing wrong, it's just a horrible thing that unfortunately can happen. Sending gentle hugs your way xx

I miscarried at around 6/7 weeks. I was never officially pregnant but as I was always regular & it was symptom wise my second pregnancy I just knew. Please don't take this as a judgement of how you or anyone else feels at early stage miscarriagel. In my circumstances I was happy I never had scans etc to see a heartbeat because I knew the first few weeks are when losing the pregnancy happens. I wasn't upset because I felt nature took its course & I went on to have a successful pregancy very soon after. Perhaps it was my way of coping. If the pregnancy was at a stage where it was far further on I would have been devastated.

Editing to say I think it happened more than once. My thoughts are its better to wait until you miss 2 periods before taking the test but again thats just me.