Phrases to stop baby questions at family event after miscarriage?

[Featherlemon]

I am preparing for (dreading) a family event this weekend, after a miscarriage a few month ago. We only told a small handful of people, and many don’t know what we have been through. I have avoided a few of the more insensitive people (who constantly have asked us about babies) since… but have to go to this event. I feel like I have no patience or capacity for their insensitivity / rudeness and can’t believe people still ask these stupid questions. Did you have any phrases that shut them down? Don’t want to share about our loss, or lose my temper, just want them to stop asking!

I’d consider something like ‘this can be a complicated and sensitive subject for many people’ or ‘for lots of reasons I’m not able to answer that’
look direct in their eyes, say it in a firm but pleasant tone, with your facial expression serious/slightly sad - then walk away

Sorry, meant to add sorry about your loss. I had one many years ago and I still remember the physical and emotional pain

I'm so sorry for your loss.

My experience is that those people aren't going to change so you just need a stock reply that you repeat every time. I think the above suggestion is a good one 'for lots of reasons I am unable to answer that' followed by 'I'm not prepared to talk about that'. On repeat...every time its mentioned.

I had a still birth followed by 2 MMC, and people still asked when we were going to have another baby every time we saw them. I was open about the still birth, not so much the miscarriage. But some people just have no sense and ask questions.

I’m sorry for your loss. Maybe ask a family member you’re close to to have a word?

‘I’m sure you can, if you think, imagine reasons why I might not want to answer questions about that’. Said civilly with a neutral expression.

Thank you all, and I’m sorry for your losses. I have a sister in law who loves gossip who I’m keen not to let know… she is the worst culprit! So tricky isn’t it!

Try "That's not an appropriate question" or "why do you ask?". Second one they can only answer "because I'm nosy!
Sorry you're in this situation.

I had this while suffering from infertility and miscarriages. My response to "so when are you having babies???" was always "you know, it's not that easy for everyone". Left it ambiguous and makes them feel bad for asking.

It's so hard, and I'm so sorry for your loss. In my experience you either stay vague and change the subject ('we're not sure'), tell them firmly you don't want to discuss, or if you feel comfortable, tell them they shouldn't ask anyone that. It's mad anyone asks, I would never do that unless a very close friend and even then I'd wait for them to bring it up.

I know and accept that you don’t want to share about your miscarriage. 💐💐However, after a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and a miscarriage, I found I had a lot of support and encouragement especially from women who had been through the same who never said anything until I mentioned them. Telling the nosy ones usually shuts them up too, as an added bonus!
I hope your fertility journey gets easier. We have a (now) 15 yo after 5 miscarriages.