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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Accept defeat or try again?

4 replies

OrangesAndLemons5 · 11/03/2026 19:50

I am just out the other side of a scare from pregnancy loss. I miscarried at home between 7-8 weeks and retained products in the process. This led to extensive bleeding and clots which became life threatening. I lost consciousness multiple times at A&E and was given an emergency D&C to save my life. I am recovering now at home, iron tablets, antibiotics, pain relief and will continue to suffer the effects of significant blood loss for a number of weeks to come. I am in the process of being tested for APS (antiphospholipid syndrome) as this is a strong possibility. This is my second miscarriage and I have two healthy children - a boy and a girl. The question is do I stop now at 2 or try again for the third? The decision to go for a third was a difficult one already and I wonder if this is the universe’s way of telling me it is not meant to be - that I and my existing children will be better off with stopping at 2. All the usual arguments, plus now the added concern for the potential affect on my health - although of course, this too will pass. I am in limbo. Please give me your thoughts. For context I do work full time and have a career I enjoy.

OP posts:
Muckypig · 11/03/2026 22:26

Ooh tricky. It's hard to give thoughts when it's so personal, and not really governed purely by logical thought, but I would stop. I wouldn't want to risk becoming so wrapped up and focused on trying to have a third and the anxiety that goes with that that I missed being fully there for the kids I do have. And that's without the physical health risks taken into account that nearly left them without a mum this time around. But that's just what I'd do.

WeAreNotOk · 11/03/2026 22:43

You work full time and have a job you enjoy. End of.
Why on earth would you risk all that you already have for a third baby, unless someone else is pushing you.

Moosey898 · 12/03/2026 07:16

If I had 2 and had the option to stop I would, especially if you have a job and life you enjoy currently. Not worth risking your health and happiness if you've got a good life x

Clangershome · 12/03/2026 21:56

With the health scare you just had and 2 children already I would not stop with 2 but it is up to you entirely x

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