What should someone do in this situation? Miscarriage

[RarePeachBear]

Just keep replaying a situation in my head and wondering if anyone else has experienced this or has any advice on what I should have done...

A while ago I experienced a missed miscarriage at nearly 12 weeks. A scan showed no heartbeat after spotting on the Friday, I was booked into the EPU for the following Monday but lost the baby over the weekend. Knowing this might happen, I spoke to my GP who advised me that if the bleeding was very heavy or I felt dizzy or in severe pain over the weekend , I should go to A&E. I think there was specific advice about bleeding through x amount of pads per hour being a cause for concern.

However, I had recently been to our local A&E on a Saturday (accompanying someone for totally unrelated reasons) and it is HELL. The waiting room was packed with no seats, people sitting on the floor, people moaning and crying in pain, blood and vomit which wasn't cleaned up properly. Waiting times of 7-8 hours even for serious problems. And there was one single, unisex toilet cubicle available which opened directly onto the waiting room with full view inside when the door was opened. The other main issue was no privacy at all - everyone could hear every word said to the reception staff.

Knowing this, I didn't feel that going to A&E was remotely an option unless it was unconscious in an ambulance. I bled extremely heavily, through multiple pads and bedding, and was in agony. The only way I felt at all comfortable was sitting continously on the toilet, with blood seeping out non stop and eventually sadly my baby came away and I saw it in the toilet bowl. I was so dizzy I was crawling on the floor between my bed and the toilet, and eventually passed out on a pile of towels in my bed.

I got away without needing medical help but I really think I was close to collapsing. However, I cannot possibly imagine how I could have handled sitting in the A&E waiting room during this horrible experience - blood pooling on a plastic chair, hunched over for hours in agony, unable to use the toilet for more than a minute at a time as there was a constant queue, not to mention the mess I would have made for the next person. Losing my baby either in my underwear or a disgusting communal toilet. And 50 strangers knowing every detail of what was happening to me.

I don't know exactly what my question is here... I know this is the same story in A&E around the country, especially on a Saturday night. I really felt at points that I was going to lose consciousness and the blood loss was frightening, but at no point could I remotely consider going there as an option. I just wondered if anyone else has been through similar, and did go to hospital for assistance /treatment? And was it as bad as I imagined?

Firstly I'm really sorry for your loss. I had a MMC 2 years ago, the bleeding was very heavy and I came very close to passing out out (my husband had to rescue me while I was sitting on the toilet). My husband rang an ambulance and was told it would take ages for it to come and to just drive me to a&e. My mum took me, parked up and walked me into a&e, registered my details at the desk and I was told to wait, i was bleeding heavily but luckily didn't make an mess. Within minutes I was called through to triage which got me out of the waiting room luckily, I was able to use a relatively quiet toilet (not necessarily a good thing if I passed out) and was then given a bed and seen. They took blood to find out whether I'd lost enough blood to be a problem and I hadn't luckily so was discharged. The parking was a pain as my mum could only park for 10 mins whilst dropping me off and risked a ticket whilst checking me in, then had to leave me alone to move the car. Overall though I was seen quickly and got home soon so not too bad. I think if your issue is really more urgent they'll make sure you're seen sooner than the 7 hour waiting time. I do find our A&E absolutely horrendous most of the time though and have had ridiculous waits when I've taken my son a few times.

I recently went to Urgent Care for a miscarriage. It was very traumatic, my trousers were soaked through, left blood everywhere I went and had to lie on the floor at one point. I was seen very quickly. Triaged in 5 minutes, doctor in another 5 minutes, than left in a private room until transferred to EPU.

I think they do prioritise in situations like this, and sure they would have done with you as well. I pray I never have a repeat experience, but if I did I'd get my DH to find a wheelchair to avoid walking and have even more towels to sit on / cover up. Unfortunately it's one of those moments where you just lose all dignity, but you don't really care.

Oh this is so relatable. I had to take an ambulance to hospital last night as I was having such intense cramps (miscarriage at 12 weeks) and have only just got home, I feel traumatised by the whole thing. I got left on the so called “rapid assessment unit” for about four hours writhing in agony with people groaning about me, not one single member of staff checked on me or even told me that I was in a queue or whatever. Got wheeled wordlessly to a random bay with the curtain opposite a man who was screaming in pain and looked to be on his deathbed. Basically I was just left for 8 hours with various nurses popping in to take my blood pressure but nobody offering me a new pad or anything despite my notes saying I was bleeding through them in an hour. After 9 hours the doctor appeared only to say ‘so you’re bleeding? Ok I’ll refer to gynaecology’ which took another hour to arrive. There was no equipment, they had to examine my cervix using the light from a torch on a phone. I and everyone around me was left without being offered water, painkillers. Honestly it was totally pointless and I took my own canula off in the end and am now at home. Never making that mistake again.

I attended a & e when I had my first miscarriage. I had gone through 2 night pads in an afternoon and resorted to just sitting on the toilet
When I arrived there was a 5h wait and there was barely any standing room in the waiting room but I was triaged at the desk and went straight through to the urgent assessment area where I was sat in a waiting room with 3 other people. They took some bloods and checked my blood pressure and a few other things. I already had a scan at the epu booked for the following morning as the bleeding had started the night before but just spotting. The nurse said it was unlikely with my observations that I was struggling with the blood loss enough to be admitted but if the blood tests came back differently they would call me to come back in and be admitted. We were in and out in less than an hour.
I had the scan the following morning which showed no evidence of pregnancy and the bleeding had calmed down. They rechecked my bloods and my HCG had halved in the 16h between being checked in a & e the night before and at the epu the following morning.

One thing to look for is if a local hospital has an early pregnancy unit: one thing they specialise in is supporting women who may be having a miscarriage.

i had the direct number from mine from ringing the emergency midwife number so did not go via a&e

It is a dreadful situation.

The early pregnancy unit near me is open office hours and are not designed for people to be in them for any longer than 30 minutes to an hour, it’s routine is a scan, possibly bloods taken, counselling on what to expect and a leaflet then out the door. That’s it.
A&E is diabolically horrific and while I tried to avoid with my (many many) miscarriages, I was forced there due to the unmanageable pain and bleeding.
I could make your toes curl with my horrific A&E experiences, traumatic and almost torturous.

Im a hard ass, not a lot bothers me, I’m extremely resilient, bounce back very quickly without much bother, don’t suffer anxious thoughts and have very minimal mental health issues in my lifetime, yet what I experienced each and every time i presented to A&E pushed my tolerance to the edge.
Not the excruciating labour pains that went on for many hours, not the torrential blood loss, it was what they did and didn’t do to and for me that was the most traumatic.

There really is no care available.

So sorry for your loss. I had almost the same situation, hadn’t had a scan though so it came as a shock. I phoned 111 who advised going to A&E which I did; such a mistake we sat there fkr 6 hours without being seen, by that point jt was midnight and we just went home; I wish we hadn’t gone: they can’t do anything for you apart from monitor. It’s horrific experience tho. Do consider some counselling it helped me