MC number 3. Totally hopeless 💔

[peepsypops]

I don’t know why I’m writing this but I guess it’s because I know that there are people here who know what it is to go through multiple losses. I don’t know anyone really who has had this experience in real life and I’m struggling to find anyone who truly understands how it feels.

i found out this week that I’m miscarrying for the third time. I had one child without issue and ever since I am in this mess. I’ve went private, no issues found, the NHS don’t want to know despite me being 40 soon (granted they will acknowledge me once this pregnancy passes because yay! I reached the magic number go me)

im so bloody angry at my body - it doesn’t even bother telling me I’m miscarrying. I have to find out on scans. I’m at the point now where I mentally cannot fathom having to try again but I don’t have the time not to try and I’m scared I won’t have tried enough for my DC.

sorry - I’m ranting. I’m just so bloody angry. 😔

Forgot to say I’ve been on aspirin, progesterone, I got blood thinning injections this time too just in case that could contribute all via private consultant but no - no difference.

Forgot to say I’ve been on aspirin, progesterone, I got blood thinning injections this time too just in case that could contribute all via private consultant but no - no difference.

Forgot to say I’ve been on aspirin, progesterone, I got blood thinning injections this time too just in case that could contribute all via private consultant but no - no difference.

Forgot to say I’ve been on aspirin, progesterone, I got blood thinning injections this time too just in case that could contribute all via private consultant but no - no difference.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been where you are. Had my first child without issue then three losses in a row, 2 missed miscarriages found on scans the same as you, the third our baby boy was too poorly to survive and I delivered him at 20 weeks.

There is still hope if you feel you want to try again. My next pregnancy was successful and I’ve since had another loss and another child. I wanted another baby more than I wanted to not go through the pain again iyswim. Take a breath, give yourself a little time even though it feels like it’s running out. Look after yourself, I know how desperate the situation feels.

Thank you @Herewegoagain8

could I please ask, did you do anything differently with the successful pregnancies and did you ever have any genetic testing or reason why you had the miscarriages?

I was already extremely anxious this time - now I’m just not sure how I would ever navigate pregnancy again. But it’s early days. I need to try. Having counselling soon which hopefully will help.

The counselling is a good call, I really hope it helps. I developed awful anxiety around my eldest after our third loss and counselling helped just to get it all out there to someone independent of the situation.

I did nothing different during the pregnancy, I was taking aspirin and various supplements but had been taking these following my first loss so it wasn’t new and I was taking none of these before or during my pregnancy with my third so I’m not sure they made any difference but it certainly helped to me feel as though I was doing something positive.

DH and I had genetic testing following the loss of our little boy but nothing was found - it seemed we were just very unlucky.

I'm so sorry for your losses OP and you are NOT hopeless

Have you and partner/DH had an fertility checks as yet? Are they the same partner to your child? Have you read 'It starts with an egg'?

I'd TTC 4yrs before getting pregnant. Long story but an extremely dismissive GP, wouldn't do a D21 blood test and when it came back normal- no referral was ever made. I was late 30's by then so paid for the NIPT at 10 weeks which was positive for Patau syndrome- T13. I chose TFMR. A year later pregnant again and MC at 7 weeks. Sorry if TMI, but I took the products to the EPU in a sterile jar and although they wouldn't test genetics, they did confirm that the MC hadn't been a molar pregnancy.

Then had IVF, got pregnant, saw a heartbeat at 8 weeks and MC a week later. Being my 3rd loss, I knew the NHS would do genetic testing. I took the non clot products to the EPU and they tested it. They can't aways get a result, but in my case they did. It was a random, genetic issue- likely related to 'older eggs'. I then had further rounds of IVF and never got pregnant again. Have you had any of your losses genetically tested OP?

We have no living children and never will. I don't know anyone in real life like me either, but I have a very happy life.

You might find further support from this this site:
www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

I'm so sorry for your losses. Recurrent miscarriage is brutal. If you can, get genetic testing done on the tissue from the miscarriage (appreciate it's not always possible, I had surgical management so that's how they took it for me). They can see if a genetic issues caused it and if it did they should offer karotyping for you and your partner to check if either of you carries any genetic abnormalities.

You're allowed to feel angry. I've been so angry with my losses, 4 of which were missed miscarriages as well. Counselling has definitely helped me. Regarding pregnancy after loss, it's always going to be difficult. We're moving on to IVF next as I do have chromosome translocations, so it reduces my miscarriage risk. But I know any future pregnancy will be utterly awful in terms of anxiety, especially as our 5th loss was at 22 weeks. I've found with time after each loss I've been able to pick myself up and accept if we want to be parents, this is what we have to go through. Doesn't make it easy, but I've worked really hard on accepting that it's the journey we're on xx

So sorry for your loses it’s truly awful. I had two kids with no issues and then four consecutive miscarriage. My Nk cells were elevated I would advise getting input from reproductive immunologist and getting nk cells etc tested. Also make sure your microbiome is okay, make sure you don’t have chronic endometirtis. After getting proper treatment including steroids and intralipids I had a successful pregnancy. It’s such a dark time and no one understands how it truly effects you unless they have gone through it, be kind to yourself get out walking and lots of fresh air helped me x

Thank you everyone who has responded here. I’m sorry I haven’t had the heart to reply until now. But I am very grateful for your experience - it makes me feel much less alone ❤️

could I please ask you @sd8809what did you do to fix your bicrobiome and how did you realise this was an issue? I feel like this might be something I need to explore. Thank you.

After one of my d&c for miscarriage the pathology shower chronic endometritis due to retained products from previous d&c. I was given antibiotics by nhs. Had more miscarriages and went for private hysteroscopy and biopsy with cultures and sensitivities. This showed I still had endometritis so got the proper antibiotics and conceived very soon afterwards

@sd8809thank you for your response - I will most certainly look into that x

I’ve been through this, first child no issues other than IUGR at the end. Then four consecutive miscarriages, tests found no issues but I did have thyroid antibodies. Took selenium and NAC supplements, used procieve, got husband to also take it. Also had a HSG. Look into the CERM trial/PRISM study. The CERM trials are to do with something called endometritis (not endometriosis) and an antibiotic called doxycycline. I also used progesterone once pregnant again. there is also a book called ‘it’s starts with the egg’ which was a useful read. Get your other half to take supplements too. Something changed for us after all this and baby no 6 made it but I will say you don’t forget and it was 9months of pure anxiety.

One of the hardest things to deal with is the not knowing why it’s happening. There are so many things to deal with, grief for your babies, others people’s questions, grieving for the life you dreamed of and the unfairness of it all. I would strongly recommend counselling, I had counselling through a baby loss charity with people that truly understood. It really helped me imagine a life without a second child. I then decided to give it one last chance as my heart could still barely take anymore heartache and this baby stuck.

sending you lots of love and truly hope your dreams come true xx

I’m so sorry for your losses. It’s devastating. I understand completely. I had a miscarriage before my 1st born, then I had my 2nd born, then I had 3 miscarriages in a row with before I had my 3rd born. I was also put on aspirin. Only thing I did differently was, I stopped taking prenatal vitamins and started taking wassen magnesium ok tablets (support menstruation) the month before I fell pregnant with my third.

last year I was actually diagnosed with PCOS which does explain the miscarriages.

I wish you all the best and lots of luck, it’s so hard to stay positive. Xxx

I don't have any advice but didn't want to read and run, as I myself have had 3 losses after having my first child (no issues there having him either). One of my losses was a chemical pregnancy but the other 2 were miscarriages. One was missed, but I think the only reason the other one wasn't is just because I wasn't scanned for ages (when I did have a scan it was measuring behind already but I was never re-scanned).
I wanted to give you hope and say I am now pregnant (16 weeks). The only thing I've done different is I've put myself on low dose aspirin, which i know you say you've tried (who knows if it is what helped me, or could just be a coincidence). NHS were going to start investigating but then this pregnancy happened!

I’m sorry for your losses. It’s one of the hardest things to go through and yet there’s so little support or really evidence based treatment. i remember feeling so alone. I didn’t know anyone in real life who had a similar experience.

I’ve had four miscarriages. One early and then three between 11-17 weeks. Three before having any children and one in between my two kids. I had private immune tests after my third miscarriage and added lipid treatments to my progesterone, aspirin and blood thinners protocol. Who knows if it made the difference but I did manage to have my two children in the end (was 41 when I had my son). Lots of good advice here - focus on all the things that can reduce inflammation in the body would be my suggestion - diet, address any deficiency etc. Maybe see what advanced testing there is available to you. I had a mix of blood clotting and immune issues. I had decided that, if my 6th pregnancy didn’t work I was done but I never had to make that call.

Good luck, wishing you love and strength for whatever comes next.
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Ooooooo it’s so hard OP be kind to yourself. It’s really really hard. So sorry.

Did you get any tests done to determine if all the chromosomes were there? That’s one thing I found helpful if having surgery was to determine that is wasn’t my fault and missing certain chromosomes.

Also, any thing do you get pregnant super easy? I was hyper fertile so meant that I wasn’t suppose to get pregnant but I did hence so many MC

before the first child was born I did go down to NK cells and weirdly was injected white blood cells from my partner into me this was 14 yrs ago in London plus steroids. However 5 MC prior to this he was born.

Then 2 more MC and another child
then 1 more mc and another child
and a final child no MC

I did loads of tests saw so many MC consultants however the best were defo St Mary’s Paddington saw an amazing experienced consultant Raj rai not sure if he still practices or not. He made more sense than all the other miscarrying consultants I saw. He didn’t believe in the NK theory at the time he was on the side of the fence of blood issues / body issues but he far more advanced tests than thee other consultants I saw around London.

I was on all the same meds you were for the last 3 children. I would generally MC around 9 weeks - 13 weeks as this is when the heart beat stays working.

There was a book by beer - is your body baby friendly and Leslie regan what every woman needs to know. I found those helpful.

Good luck it’s really difficult and upsetting. However if you go surgery for MC try to get some tests afterwards as I found peace in that knowing it was going to be impossible for my baby to survive or only live to 1 year old max as missing vital chromosomes.

Hope you get there it’s really hard. Time is a healer and look after yourself x