10 week miscarriage

[Sunandstar123]

Found out that I have had a miscarriage at around 10 weeks after seeing the heartbeat at 8 weeks, feels so cruel. Reaching out to see what helped others get through this tough time? Thinking of taking a few days off work to come to terms with it all.

Cant help but feel I just want to try again as soon as possible but also not sure how il get through the anxiety of another pregnancy after this, and feels far too early to even be thinking of this!

So sorry for your loss. I have just been through this 2 weeks ago (I was also 10 weeks pregnant). Take time off if you can along with your partner or with a supportive chosen family / friend to just grieve as you need to. My GP offered to sign off for a month. I feel like carving that time off together really helped us. I was selective about who I told - as I didn’t want advice, I just wanted to be sad for a while! I knew which friends would support me in that. I felt so ‘raw’ and ‘tender’ both in physically and emotionally for about 10 days… I feel like I am getting better now. I’m now back at work and it feels like a welcome distraction, although I don’t have much emotional bandwidth for things going wrong!! Treat it like you would any other bereavement - give yourself grace as you’ll be very tired and just generally quite run down from the stress. Take gentle care of yourself x

That’s so kind thank you for your response and I am so sorry for your loss, at the same stage as well. Take good care of yourself too and sending lots of love.

So sorry you’re going through this. I’ve had 2 losses in the last 6 months and honestly the only thing that helps is time. After my first I was back at work 4 days later as physically was okay, but mentally I wasn’t ready. I really struggled the first few days back, was just really emotional and generally feeling low. After my second loss I was off work just under 2 weeks. I can’t say I wanted to go back but it was helpful to be busy and get back into routine. Taking the extra few days really helped me process it all. Hubby also took a couple of days off the second time. We just spent time together watching crap tv and feeling what we needed to feel.
I also felt I wanted to move on very quickly after the first but hubby wasn’t quite ready which at the time made me feel quite resentful. Looking back it was the right decision to wait a month, not sure I could have coped with the anxiety of a second pregnancy so close while still grieving the baby we lost.
Sending hugs X

I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. Most important thing is put yourself first and do what you feel is best for you (don’t worry about work, others etc etc) if that’s taking time off work do it, if it’s keeping busy do it. I had 2 mc before having my little girl, both times I needed to stay busy to distract my mind, after the first I immediately wanted to become pregnant again but complications meant that wasn’t possible, the second time I took a few months break because I was fed up of the hospital and realised becoming pregnant was consuming my thoughts so much i’d forgotten about other joys in life. Whenever you do decide to try again, and when you do become pregnant, I won’t lie the anxiety will be there, but try to remember that a new pregnancy is a brand new start at a little life and the odds are very much in your favour for it to be okay!
Be very kind to yourself as you work through this, brighter days will soon come x

Thank you for your kind responses and such lovely advice. I’m also so sorry that you’ve had to go through this.

I’m struggling with not knowing with why it happened especially after seeing a heartbeat at 8.5 weeks but I also understand il likely never know and need to accept that. Also of having a long 3 week wait to see if I test negative or whether il need further treatment, so much to get my head around. X