Just need to speak to people who have been through similar , lost at 16 weeks 6 days

[lineeyesqueen212]

A few days ago I went in to hospital with contractions , they scanned the baby and all was fine, sent me home with pain killers and told me to rest, the following morning I woke up and was bleeding and the contractions was worse so went back to hospital , to then have another speculum and my waters broke there and then so was told I was in labour, my heart just broke. They scanned me a few hours later as they couldn’t see the pregnancy from my cervix like they did few hours before , my son still had a heart beat… 20 minutes later I gave birth to him, my heart is so broken I can’t even explain how I feel, he was so so so perfect and I just don’t even know how to continue , I hate myself. How do people get through this? I have never felt pain like it. I got discharged today as I was on iv antibiotics as my body kept on spiking a temperature and I just miss my baby so much. They called it late miscarriage but he was a formed baby😭😭😭

I’m sorry, it’s heartbreaking. It truly feels like you’ll never get over it. You’ll live with it and it will hopefully feel less significant when you finally have a living baby - that’s how I feel, but I know if I think too hard about the loss I went through I would still cry even though I’ve had two more babies.

Be kind to yourself, take as much time as you need, but try again as soon as the doc says it’s possible and you feel ready. The hope is what keep you going but also what tears you down.

That's so sad. I cried non stop for a week. Honestly this helped a lot. And couldn't think of him without crying for a year. I still think of him now but i dont think anyone else does. In the end, i want my remains to be where his are. People will tell you to "keep trying" which sounds horribly cruel, but in the end that's what happens and good luck to you.

@Leopardspota thankyou for your reply 🤍

There are a few places you can go to. My hospital referred me to Petals charity, you could also contact Sands.

Recommend listening to the worst girl gang ever podcast which made me feel a lot less alone.

This is a very lonely kind of grief, I’m so sorry this has happened to you.

@hellowhaaat3632one of the doctors I saw the day after I birthed my son told me to try after my 2nd cycle and I was just in disbelief.. at this moment in time I don’t want to try again because all my heart says is I want him and not another baby , sorry for your loss🥺

@Mintcrumbler thankyou for your reply I will have a listen , never felt pain like it just wish it was all a horrible dream😪 sorry for your loss to

I’m so sorry this happened to you. I also lost a baby boy at 16 weeks and it was difficult emotionally for a long time. I did have another baby a year later, which helped a lot, but the pain of the loss has always been there.

I’m just going to mention now that you may start lactating in a few days’ time - this happened to me and I was totally unprepared for it and very upset (it felt like a very cruel joke).

Sending love xx

Did they not give you a pill to stop lactation?? I got one and thankfully didn't have to go through this. Awful you had to.

Unfortunately, this happened a long time ago and there wasn’t the sort of care and management there is now. I started bleeding heavily at work then lost the baby at home, by myself, which was beyond horrific. I was admitted to hospital the next day because I was still bleeding so much. I left hospital needing a transfusion (but didn’t get one) so I couldn’t walk for a week as I was so weak.

Fortunately, it seems like the hospital manages things much better now - but it’s still traumatic, nevertheless.

Why is life so cruel sometimes. I am so sorry for your loss. The heart crushing pain will pass but you will never forget your perfect Christmas baby. Be gentle with yourself xx

I lost a baby at 18 weeks into the pregnancy. I had been bleeding for a week then my waters broke. But in the end I was given a tablet to bring contractions on. I was sent home and came back in a few hours later. I was offered a post mortem, and no reason was found for the miscarriage. The baby was a girl. It was one of the most difficult times of my life. My milk came in too, it was heart breaking.
I had anuther pregnancy, which went full term, but I lived on my nerves the whole time. I had a boy and post natal depression! Look after yourself, give yourself time to grieve, I didn't. You will get through it but will never forget.
I am thinking about you x

Hi OP, I am so so sorry. What a traumatic experience.
I had to deliver my baby at 15 weeks who was still alive but I had a serious bacterial infection and delveoped sepsis. It sounds like you might have had similar, was it chorioamnionitis? I hope you are ok x

Thinking of you @lineeyesqueen212. Hope your family and friends are being supportive. It gets better but just takes time.

This is the same for me - I was 22 weeks. It's so utterly devastating.