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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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One week post surgery and struggling

2 replies

Trashracoon · 07/12/2025 23:50

I don’t know why I’m posting here apart from maybe having somewhere to get it out.

9 days ago I had emergency surgery to remove a pregnancy in my right tube, the tube had began to rupture so i also lost my tube alongside the baby, they also discovered a blood clot on my ovary, everything was so fast and I didn’t get chance to even process the things I was being told, even 9 days later I just don’t know how to process it, physically it’s been difficult, my history and existing conditions (aps) puts me at a high risk of clotting, alongside the clot they found on my right ovary so I’ve also had to use fragmin injections and continue using them for another 6 weeks and I feel like I don’t recognise my body right now :/

mentally is a different thing all together, I’m struggling to accept I’ve lost a tube and what it may or may not mean for the future, while doctors reassured me the left looks healthy and I could still conceive I can’t help but feel afraid and defeated, the pregnancy itself was wanted more than anything, but it turned into my 5th back to back loss since 2023 and my second loss this year alone (mmc in February, took till October to conceive again and ended this way) and I don’t know how to begin with the grieving / letting go process of yet another what if, I plan on going back to counselling when i feel more capable.

I’m sorry for such a bleak post, but I feel this may be the one place someone may understand my feelings and what I’m going through rather than looking at me awkwardly or just saying “im sorry, you’ll get there”.

if you did read this, thank you x

OP posts:
Moosey898 · 08/12/2025 09:12

I'm so sorry for all your losses. I had my 4th and 5th this year too, 5th was in September, losing our baby girl at 22 weeks due to an infection (she was born alive but they had to induce her to save me and she was just too tiny to survive). I was on Fragmin for 6 weeks after as well, those injections are nasty little things.

It's all still very fresh for you - are you able to take some time off work if you're still struggling? I completely understand the what ifs too. To get to 22 weeks after 4 previous losses, and then lose our girl, was just devastating. We are actually starting IVF next year as I have chromosome translocations which put me at higher risk of miscarriage, so we wanted to try that route and see if it might help. But I'm getting less and less convinced we will become parents one day. It's very hard when you've been through so much loss to imagine a different outcome x

Trashracoon · 11/12/2025 13:08

Moosey898 · 08/12/2025 09:12

I'm so sorry for all your losses. I had my 4th and 5th this year too, 5th was in September, losing our baby girl at 22 weeks due to an infection (she was born alive but they had to induce her to save me and she was just too tiny to survive). I was on Fragmin for 6 weeks after as well, those injections are nasty little things.

It's all still very fresh for you - are you able to take some time off work if you're still struggling? I completely understand the what ifs too. To get to 22 weeks after 4 previous losses, and then lose our girl, was just devastating. We are actually starting IVF next year as I have chromosome translocations which put me at higher risk of miscarriage, so we wanted to try that route and see if it might help. But I'm getting less and less convinced we will become parents one day. It's very hard when you've been through so much loss to imagine a different outcome x

Oh gosh, I’m so so sorry I can begin to imagine how difficult and painful that must have been for you 💔 I truly hope you’re healing the best you can from such a tragic loss! I agree about fragmin being a horrible thing, I hate having to be here and using it.

my gp has been wonderful in terms of understanding and has wrote me off work for 6 weeks at the moment, partly due to the surgery and my mental health and partly because we found out this morning I’ve developed an infection in two of the surgery sites :/

I wish you all the luck with IVF, it’s something we’ve potentially talked about exploring, but I think mentally at the moment I’m terrified to even try again, even with intervention, knowing I have a slight increase risk of another ectopic, and already having lost my right tube scares me? I don’t want to give up the hope of becoming a mother but some days it feels further out of reach than others, and I guess today is one of those days.

thank you for sharing your experiences, it makes this journey feel less lonely knowing someone understands, and I truly hope you get your baby one day 🖤

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