MMC First Pregnancy

[EmeraldPie]

Sorry for the long post.

Was supposed to be 11 weeks yesterday, and was booked for an urgent scan at the EPU on Friday due to spotting/light bleeding and more lower abdominal cramps.

I knew in my heart something was wrong, but I didn't want to lose all hope and prayed for a miracle.
The ultrasound only showed a gestational sac and yolk sac, no fetal pole/embryo. They couldn't confirm I was having a miscarriage as it was the first ultrasound I'd had, but obviously I knew I hadn't miscalculated my dates.

Judging from what was seen, I assumed I had miscarried at around 6 weeks?

I cannot understand how for another almost 5 weeks my body hardly gave me any signs my pregnancy was not progressing. It is my first pregnancy so I had nothing to which to compare previously so maybe that's why....
I had no bleeding up until 2 days before that scan, and mild cramping.

I thought it was a bit strange that I hardly had much sickness during the early stages of pregnancy, never vomited or felt close to it, only manageable nausea, but that seemed to subside as weeks went on. But I put this down to some women not experiencing 'severe' symptoms. I had very sore and tender breasts throughout....so this reassured me I still felt 'pregnant'

Now that I look back in hindsight, I did have some troublesome lower abdominal cramps at night for around a week, around the 5-6 week mark that were intermittent and subsided as time went on, could this have been an early miscarriage sign? I assumed as no bleeding, to leave it.

I am feeling so broken and empty. I was so excited for this baby. And what is hurting most is that for so long, my baby never developed and all that time I was thinking it was growing and forming it's structure and organs :(

They booked me a follow up scan in 10 days to check again, but now I have been bleeding more, and assume miscarriage is occurring naturally. I'm not sure how much bleeding to expect and how long it will take. And the lower cramps are very strong, but so irregular. Sometimes it feels terrible, sometimes just feels like a normal 'period.'

Has anyone been through a similar type of miscarriage? Was this a MMC?
Any advice on recovery?
Has anyone then gone on to have subsequent successful pregnancies?

Also any advice on recommending testing, if necessary?
I'm 31, I'm of course worried about this happening again.
They told me on my next pregnancy I will be offered earlier and more scans if I suffered a miscarriage this time.

Thank you x

I'm so sorry 😔 missed miscarriages are devastating, I've had multiple. There are many, many women (I'm sure others who will reply here) who have had a missed miscarriage and gone on to have their babies. After one miscarriage there's no real need to have any testing done, they're devastating and difficult to go through but really common (trust me I'm not reducing how awful they are to have happen to you, but just reassuring you that you don't need to immediately go down a medical rabbit hole or spend loads on testing). If you have 2 or more in a row your GP should be able to help with some testing of common causes of miscarriage.

I hope you can take the time you need to recover. I found going easy for a couple of weeks was best for me, but one of my best friends was back at work within the week after her surgical management because she wanted the distraction. There's no right way, you have to do what is right for you xx

I’m so sorry, I have no specific advice on the topic other than I have suffered from loss before. Time is a fantastic healer, there is so much amazing science and advanced medical knowledge these days, of course you will have your baby in the future😊 miscarriage doesn’t discriminate, 31 is young . Both my aunts had their babies at 40. For recovery, try to stay off google as I find more often than not the information is conflicting and can be very confusing. I would reach out to a a registered charity such as the one I’ve attached below. Take care ❤️

https://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/

I’m so sorry you’ve had multiple of these. It’s reassuring to hear how common they are. It doesn’t always feel like it when you see so many people that are having/had successful pregnancies and scans. But of course miscarriages are less spoken about. Thanks for all your advice x

Thanks for sending that and your advice. Sorry you’ve had losses too. Best wishes to you x

Hi OP. Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss. It is a shock and so devastating. Your miscarriage sounds like a blighted ovum or an anembryonic pregnancy, which is the more modern term. This is where the gestational sac and placenta grow and you get a positive pregnancy test but the embryo never develops or is reabsorbed by the body in the very early stages.
I've had an MMC and a blighted ovum. The MMC was discovered at 10 weeks at my NIPT scan. Baby was measuring only 7 weeks and had no heartbeat. I was scanned again a week later to confirm and had a D&C another week later. I passed some naturally at home but still needed the surgery.
Then in June we discovered at a private scan at 7 weeks that I had a blighted ovum. There was only the gestational sac, not even a yolk sac. I went to my maternity hospital a week later to confirm and opted for medical management that time. I had started spotting myself by this point.
I already have a three year old DD and am currently 20 weeks pregnant with another little girl. I think it was just bad luck for me. And I'm sure that's absolutely the case for you. How are you doing now?x

Hi @SureLook. Yes, it seemed exactly like a blighted ovum. Sorry that you've experienced it as well as a MMC. It must have been heart-breaking to know the embryo developed but heart stopped :( But every miscarriage is difficult in it's own way.
When you opted for medical management for the blighted ovum, had your body not passed any of the pregnancy tissue? (I know you mentioned you had started spotting only).
Since my scan last Friday, I had started bleeding and had pretty much a constant period since then, a few clots, sometimes the flow is light, sometimes heavier....right now it seems to have settled. I have lower abdominal cramps too but these have also subsided slightly. I'm so curious as to how 'complete' my miscarriage is. Follow up scan is in just over a week. I wonder if I will need further management.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! I really hope it's the case for me next time, just so sad right now. Coping with the loss and also finding the energy to start again even though it's my dream to have a healthy baby. x

@EmeraldPie yeah, discovering the MMC was heartbreaking. Deep down I knew something was off, though. I was more angry with the blighted ovum cause I thought to myself, I have to go through this again?
No, I only ever had the spotting with the blighted ovum. Nothing happened until I took the medication but I actually didn't fully pass the sac for nearly another two weeks.
I would be leaning towards your miscarriage not being complete just yet. When I passed some of the MMC loss before my D&C I flooded a pad and leaked through my underwear, pyjamas, dressing gown and onto the couch. I was then stuck to the toilet for about an hour or so. And that still wasn't everything gone. Although everyone is different so it's very much individual.
Thank you for your congratulations. After both of my losses I started TTC again straight away. Again, this is very individual. Even if you're physically ready you need to make sure you're mentally and emotionally ready. I have every faith that you will have your little baby x

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I miscarried my first and remember the anguish I felt at “feeling empty” after the excitement of the pregnancy. It sounds weird but I felt so lonely knowing they were no longer growing inside me, it was awful. In terms of the miscarriage itself, it was mostly a heavy period, the worst part was continuing to test positive for weeks afterwards. Recovery wise was fine physically as it was so early in the pregnancy, emotionally much harder. I ended up having acupuncture from my miscarriage all the way through to the late stages of my pregnancy with my DD, no idea how much it helped the pregnancy to stick but it felt good to be doing something to help things along as we didn’t qualify for any additional support via the NHS as we’d only had one miscarriage.

I went on to have two beautiful children, my DD was conceived around 4 months after I miscarried, and my DS was conceived almost as soon as we decided we wanted a second, so in our case the miscarriage wasn’t an indication of anything untoward long term, it was just one of those truly awful things.

Thank you so much x
It sounds like it was a difficult long-drawn out process with the blighted ovum. You were absolutely right what you said about it not being complete. I woke up with progressive horrendous cramps this morning and could not go to work. Was radiating to my back and I couldn't stand up properly. Bleeding was also getting worse after subsiding last night. This morning I passed the gestational sac, it was an absolutely huge piece of tissue... and then some more smaller clots, but I guess there was also lots of fluid built up. As soon as I passed that, those cramping stopped. Now it is a period type dull pain, with a moderate/heavy flow. Hopefully the worse physical part of the miscarriage is now over, but I will need to see over the next few days.
How long after/how many cycles after your blighted ovum did you conceive again? Your story gives me a lot of hope after your two miscarriages.
Emotionally I feel ready but the anxiety about his happening will no doubt remain and not sure I'll be able to change that x

I totally get this. After I realised I was miscarrying, I woke up one morning and felt so empty. I couldn't stop crying about the fact that for over a month, I had been thinking a baby was growing, and it was being nurtured inside of me, but there was nothing there. Do you mind me asking how many weeks you were at the time of the miscarriage?
I didn't know about acupuncture during a pregnancy, was it a specific type you had?
So pleased you conceived soon after and now have two beautiful children, and came through this truly awful experience x

@EmeraldPie aww, you poor thing. That sounds tough this morning but it also sounds like it may be complete now. You'll probably continue to bleed for a little while longer. When is your follow up scan? They can make sure that everything is gone.
I hope you've got good support around you and you're taking some time off work. I took a month off for both of my losses.
So I had the MMC in January and I conceived again in May. This was the blighted ovum pregnancy. I honestly think my body wasn't ready to carry another pregnancy. My periods were very different to be before. Much more painful, a shorter luteal phase and even the blood was different? Things felt more settled after the blighted ovum in June. I got my period four weeks later in July and started trying in August and caught straight away. I got my period back both times after four weeks. But there seems to be a lot of variation for some women. I've read of it taking quite a few weeks, like 8-12 sometimes so just be prepared for that x

I’m so sorry this has happened to you - it is so confusing, and soul-destroying.

I have had 2 MMCs and one TFMR. I now have a beautiful DS, 2.5 years old. He’s a little treasure.

Heat helps for the cramps - hot water bottle, heat pad, hot bath, whatever you can tolerate. Keep an eye on the bleeding and if you have any large clots or lose a worrying amount make sure you call the EPU.

Sending you a handhold, and all the luck in the world for your future pregnancies x

@EmeraldPieI was coming up 9 weeks at the time, so super early days, not that it felt any easier at the time.

I just googled and found someone with good reviews who specialised in fertility acupuncture. I’ve no idea if it actually helped things stick, but it definitely helped lower my stress/anxiety and I felt very zen after my sessions x

I felt very relieved when I passed the bulk of the contents, probably because I've got some relief now from the intense cramping. My follow up is in a week from today - so still a while to go, yes I am hoping that the scan will show an empty uterus. I am hoping that my periods continue to remain stable after this, as yours did after your blighted ovum. I've always been lucky such that I never get bad period cramps, pretty regular, and not a heavy flow generally. In the past few months my cycles had become a bit shorter though - went from 28 days to average of 25/26 so I was concerned over a luteal defect, but the last cycle I conceived (this blighted ovum), I did digital testing and ovulated on day 14/15 so, who knows?

Do you think the D&C after your MMC had any impact on the next cycle/fertility for your subsequent pregnancy after that? I guess you can't know for sure.

I guess it's tricky after a miscarriage whilst TTC, one of the reasons being you can't date anything, as everything is out of sync. So I will see how it goes and how I feel, after the bleeding disappears. x

Thank you so much for your kind words. I have a nice heat bag yes, that has been very useful. I almost called the EPU this morning as the cramps had worsened and I couldn't go to work. I passed what I'm sure was the gestational sac this morning, and more smaller tissue. As soon as I passed it the cramps have subsided big time. Moderate/heavy period flow now. I'm hoping the worst of it has gone now.
So glad you managed to have your healthy son x

@NormaNormalPants Absolutely - it isn't any easier since the life we created stop growing, doesn't matter what stage 💛I will definitely look into the fertility acupuncture as regardless of whether it helped things to stick, the lowered stress and anxiety sure couldn't have hurt, right? Thank you x

@EmeraldPie I am so so sorry

My timeline was so similar to yours first pregnancy which we were so wanting - a few days before my 12 week scan I had mild pain and really light spotting - scan showed baby had stopped growing just before 7 weeks
(Id had a scan at 6 weeks and seen a heartbeat and had terrible morning sickness throughout, which peaked about 9 weeks)

I couldn’t and probably never will understand how my body went on for so long thinking it was pregnant

Please take your time and look after yourself. If you ever want to message me to vent you are more than welcome, offloading was helpful to me

I reached out to tommys and they recommended to ask for basic blood tests through GP 6 weeks after miscarriage (vit d levels, thyroid, blood count) even if they come back as normal, it gave me some relief to think I was doing something

@EmeraldPie you must be exhausted now. Fingers crossed your scan shows that everything has passed and you don't need any intervention.
That's good that your periods have always been fairly stable. I think they say anything less than 10 days for your luteal phase is considered short. So it sounds like yours is still ok!
Like you say, I can't know for definite but surely a surgery like that has to have some sort of negative effect? I would imagine healthy tissue is taken away also. At the time I wanted it over and done with and never anticipated that I would possibly need another surgery only four months later. That's why I chose medical management the second time. I didn't want to have a second surgery in such a short space of time if I could avoid it.
That's why the hospitals like you to have one period and then try again. Cause it helps them to date the pregnancy. But there's no research to show it has an affect either way so really it's a personal choice x

@Utardelis
thank you so much for your response. I relate to this, and for you it must have been extra hard to deal with as at 6 weeks you saw a heartbeat and that much have given you so much needed reassurance at the time. Only for what happened to happen :(
it seemed for me I never had an embryo and it was so difficult because I went for another month with pregnancy symptoms. There was nothing to compare with, I didn’t know what was normal or not. But at the 5-6 week mark I was having these bad cramps which then went away after that - I keep thinking if that was the sign of something wrong as that’s when nothing progressed after that….

i think I will ask for those blood tests too. Did yours come back as normal?
how are you feeling now? X

@EmeraldPie all bloods came back as normal which I’m trying to take as a positive and hopefully the miscarriage was just “one of those things” If no luck in a few months Im going to see about progesterone testing as the early spotting in my pregnancy is making me question whether it was low and that caused the miscarriage

I am doing better than I was 😘 - when it happened I didn’t know how I was ever going to feel happy ever again it really hit me hard. But now I am starting to find enjoyment in things again, be grateful for the nice life with my partner that I have and getting back to feeling somewhat myself. The things I find difficult were things I already had planned (trips etc) in my mind I was going to be x weeks pregnant so they felt like a bitter pill to swallow. When I feel sad about it I just let it be because it just meant that baby was really loved.

Allow yourself to feel all the feelings 🤍 and lean on partner/friends/family, they really got me through it