Time off work

[e306]

Hi everyone. I’m currently going through my first (and hopefully last…) miscarriage, started yesterday morning. Last night was very traumatic as I think that’s when the worst part of it happened. It was absolute agony physically and mentally, and just a horrible feeling generally when you physically feel you’re losing your baby. Sending lots of love to those of you going through this currently.

I had a question about work - I work from home, it’s a laptop based role. I’m off for the rest of the week, but I just don’t know when the right time to go back is. My manager knows it’s a miscarriage and is quite relaxed, she is fine with me having time off or returning, just however I feel. But I don’t know how I feel - I feel traumatised and quite numb so I feel like I’m not thinking clearly. For any of you that also work from home/office based jobs etc, how long did you have off? I don’t want to take the mick and have ‘too long’ off, but also don’t want to go back too early and fall apart.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I've had 4 miscarriages and I've taken 2 weeks off each time, signed off by the doctor. My work (3 different jobs as it happens!) never had any issues with me taking the 2 weeks, and I felt much better after having the extended break. I definitely wasn't ready to go back after a week x

So very sorry for your 4 losses too 😞 thank you for sharing, that helps a lot. So hard when it’s the first time going through something like this and not knowing what to expect x

Yeah it's awful. I remember my first loss I was so worried about work and how they'd react. Subsequent losses I found myself more able to put myself and my needs first. After all, in the greater scheme of business, 2 weeks is nothing and they will be able to cope. Make sure you look after yourself xx

Sorry for your loss. I’ve had one miscarriage and I didn’t take any time off other than the hospital appointments as I preferred to keep busy and also needed to be normal for my dd. Everyone is different and needs different amounts of time off though. Why don’t you have your week off and then see how you feel towards the end of that?

Yeah my husband is taking that approach too, but it would never work for me. I’d end up feeling very irritated and lash out at people. I’m coping by watching the trashiest tv shows, to distract my brain that way.

I think that’s what I’ll end up doing, wait until Friday afternoon and see how I feel then. Just wondered what approach others took!

I’m so sorry for your loss. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks after having a normal scan at 11 weeks. I ended up taking a month off work. I was waiting 2 weeks for surgical management and then took another almost 2 weeks after that. I told my manager and another colleague I was close to about what happened but didn’t tell anyone else. I simply could not work with the way I was feeling at the time and I’m not one for going off sick usually. I do work from home 3 days a week but still didn’t feel ready to work. They were very supportive. Take whatever time you need and be gentle with yourself.

So sorry for your loss, been there. I'd say 2-3 weeks is about right. Remember that sickness related to this can't be counted against you, I believe.

Very sorry for your loss too 😞 I can completely relate in that I hardly ever take sick time off too, and if I do it’s for a couple of days if it’s flu/stomach bug, so this is really feeling like a lot! Thank you x

Thank you - yes I’ve read somewhere it gets marked as pregnancy related sickness which doesn’t count towards ‘usual’ sick time off.

Oh yes forgot that part! It isn't part of normal absences so won't impact your allowance etc. x