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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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MMC vent, hospital tomorrow and unsupportive partner

9 replies

ghhod93 · 18/11/2025 08:45

Hi everyone,
not really sure why I’m posting just looking to vent. Last Friday I went to a private early scan when I should have been 7w3d as I was feeling anxious but I thought everything would be okay. I was told the baby was measuring 7w but with no heartbeat, I feel like I went into shock and was referred to my local EPU, earliest they can see me is tomorrow so it’s been a long 5 days and my body is showing no signs of naturally kicking in and dealing with it. I feel so emotionally whiplashed and raw. I have little to no support from my “partner” who ignored me as soon as he found out I was pregnant who I now think is happy and relieved that this has happened which is horrible. I feel so alone and almost like no one around understands as no one I know personally has experienced a miscarriage like this. I’m finding it hard to everyday function and have self certified for the week off work as I work with babies and the thought of going back is terrifying. I’ve been scared to leave home incase my body kicks in naturally which is someone emotionally I don’t think I can face and am looking at the surgical route once EPU confirms the loss tomorrow. It just feels cruel, I still have nausea and sore boobs, I can take a test which instantly comes back a strong positive. I’m thinking of going alone to hospital tomorrow and driving myself but I’m unsure if this is a good idea? I just feel like the dad would be no help whatsoever. Thanks for reading my rant I just don’t know how to navigate this time 😭

OP posts:
i123i · 18/11/2025 12:12

Hi @ghhod93, really sorry to hear you’re going through this and feel so alone. Is there anyone else who can come along to support you? I think it would really help if possible, as it’s an upsetting and traumatic thing to happen, and even more so if you have no support. I’m really sorry for your loss, I’ve had a couple but also thankfully have 2 healthy children.
Your baby will always be with you, if you can take comfort in that, even if not religious.

I really hope you find someone to support you in person, although Mumsnet can be a source of advice and support too of course.

Tinytotdriver · 19/11/2025 11:15

I’m so sorry for your loss 💔

I’ve had 2 MMC and they are absolutely terrible emotionally.

If you’re just going to the hospital for a scan tomorrow I’d say you could drive there. They usually just scan you and then present the options which you can tackle another day.

Just get through each day. It’s so hard and so traumatising, I know. My partner was also absolutely useless ❤️

ghhod93 · 19/11/2025 13:59

Tinytotdriver · 19/11/2025 11:15

I’m so sorry for your loss 💔

I’ve had 2 MMC and they are absolutely terrible emotionally.

If you’re just going to the hospital for a scan tomorrow I’d say you could drive there. They usually just scan you and then present the options which you can tackle another day.

Just get through each day. It’s so hard and so traumatising, I know. My partner was also absolutely useless ❤️

Thank you. Sorry for your losses too, it’s just awful 😭. Yes they rescanned and confirmed what the private scan showed. I’ve booked in for surgical management Friday and blocked the useless partner after being told “I don’t know why you’re worried about this when you were prepared to go through 9 months of pain.” 🙄

OP posts:
Moosey898 · 19/11/2025 16:03

I'm so sorry for your loss, and your partner's reaction. That's truly horrible of them. Do you have someone to support you on Friday?x

ghhod93 · 19/11/2025 16:07

Moosey898 · 19/11/2025 16:03

I'm so sorry for your loss, and your partner's reaction. That's truly horrible of them. Do you have someone to support you on Friday?x

Thank you ❤️
I do my sister thankfully x

OP posts:
Moosey898 · 19/11/2025 16:14

ghhod93 · 19/11/2025 16:07

Thank you ❤️
I do my sister thankfully x

Oh I'm glad you have someone there for you. I've had surgical management multiple times, hope it all goes smoothly and you're home recovering physically as quickly as possible 💓

ghhod93 · 20/11/2025 07:09

Moosey898 · 19/11/2025 16:14

Oh I'm glad you have someone there for you. I've had surgical management multiple times, hope it all goes smoothly and you're home recovering physically as quickly as possible 💓

Thank you so much. Sorry that you’ve gone through it before too 😩 how did you find it?? I’m worried but it just sounds like the best option emotionally x

OP posts:
Hollerationinthedancerieeee · 20/11/2025 07:28

Bless you, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. Both the miscarriage and the lack of support from your partner who has been incredibly callous and cruel. When I had miscarriages, I found Tommy’s and the Miscarriage Association so helpful. They have online forums and helplines where you can speak to someone kind and empathetic. Wishing you all the very best x

Moosey898 · 20/11/2025 08:07

ghhod93 · 20/11/2025 07:09

Thank you so much. Sorry that you’ve gone through it before too 😩 how did you find it?? I’m worried but it just sounds like the best option emotionally x

Honestly, physically it was absolutely fine. I wanted to go down the surgical route because I knew too many people who had gone medical and ended up needing the Surgery after anyway, and I didn't want it to drag out any longer than it had to. I also found it helped me process emotionally because I could separate the physical and emotional. Once I was awake from the surgery it was all over and I could grieve and feel how I needed. The staff on the surgical unit have also always been so kind and caring as they knew what the surgery was for, so hopefully you will have the same Xx

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