Pregnant after over 10 years of infertility and two early losses in the last year and a half

[TTCbaby1soph]

I don’t really know what I’m asking here but I’m just looking for some advise and maybe just to get it off my chest. I’ve just found out I’m pregnant after years of infertility and most recently a few early chemical pregnancies in the last couple of years.

I haven’t told anyone even my husband and just feel I need to speak to someone to calm me down.

I’m due to have laparoscopic surgery on Monday to check for endo, remove a cyst on my ovary and 2 polyps on my uterus, I know the surgery won’t be able to go ahead but I’m so so so worried about having another loss. I haven’t told the surgical team yet I think I will wait and see what happens over the weekend and still attend the appointment and tell them then.

I’m also now thinking that if my surgery gets cancelled I will have to tell people (which I don’t want to do so early) as they will be wondering why my surgery was cancelled.

I’m just in a really big pickle and have no one to speak to about it

I know there is not much I can do but wait it out but the anxiety is draining me I feel like I can’t function.

The good news I guess is that I found out 4 days ago and my tests are getting darker which they didn’t in previous losses but I just can’t shake the anxiety. I want to be happy but I just feel scared and dreadful.

its crazy all I’ve wanted to see was a positive test in all these years and now I just can’t enjoy it at all. I don’t know what my next steps are, do I just wait it out and see what happens.

attend the appointment on Monday and let them know and hope I will be able to get a scan or some sort of check? 😢

Please phone and cancel
the surgery now. So they can rearrange theatre lists and possibly let someone else have your slot.

Ps. Congratulations, and good luck with the little one.

No one will be surprised that the surgery has been cancelled, it happens all the time. But definitely cancel now to allow someone else the spot.

They won't do any scan to check if you say you are pregnant because it is a different area.

I can't imagine how you are feeling but sending a hand hold.

You can just tell people that the hospital cancelled your surgery, it happens all the time. Or that you had to reschedule because you had an upset stomach.
Fingers crossed for you!

Everything crossed that things progress for you this time.

Please cancel your surgery appointment, someone else who needs it can take your slot. Tell people that your appointment was cancelled by the hospital, that's believable.

If you go in Monday, there won't be scanning facilities etc in theatres, you'd just be sent away. Everything crossed for you

Hello. I didn’t go through all the tough times that you have but recognise some of your thought processes and they are totally normal. I lost two babies and when I fell pregnant the next time I didn’t not tell anyone except my partner. We didn’t jump for joy, I didn’t get excited and spent weeks being anxious and looking for signs I was going to loose the baby. Refused by booking in appointment until 10 weeks.

start by taking to your partner and then take each day as they come.

In really hope all works for you

Congratulations!

It's positive that the tests are getting darker.
Can I please please suggest you phone up the hospital and cancel your surgery ASAP so someone else can have your slot. They will probably have women waiting on the cancellation list. The waiting lists for gynae surgeries are insane and it would be an absolute shame if your slot goes to waste..

Oh and also, they won't be scanning you for pregnancy on Monday.

Firstly, it sounds like you could be too early for a scan, secondly, it's different facilities. You need to contact your EPU which will likely offer a scan given your previous losses. Alternatively, a private scan can be arranged from when you're 7 weeks onwards.
Please don't take this appointment from someone else just because you're hoping for a scan. The NHS is crumbling and we all have to play our part in helping it.

Hope all goes well for you.

Like others have said. Cancel the appointment and the tell people that the hospital cancelled. Happens all the time. I had lots of miscarriages when I was younger due to pcos and went on to adopt. Then found out I was pregnant at 40. That baby stuck but not a day went by when I fretted that I would lose him. I didn’t let my dh decorate the nursery/buy any baby bits until the baby was viable. I felt I was jinxing myself. But he was born and is 13 now and I went on to get pregnant again at 45 and enjoyed that pregnancy so much more. I sincerely hope this works out for you because I know the absolute joy a baby can bring.

Thank you so much for all your replies! You’re all absolutely right..I guess in my negativity I was thinking I will probably start bleeding by today as this is when my period is due and I’ve never really got very far with my past pregnancies but you’re all right it’s not fair to take the opportunity from someone else and I know how frustrating the wait time is for gynea.

I will give them a call now and let them know and see what they say and pray that this little one sticks with me.

I think I will try and wait as long as possible and then go to my EPU if I make it to 6-7 weeks as I understand there’s not much to see at this stage anyway.

thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.